re: Stupid stuff you tell the new guys?

I briefly worked in the food industry back in high school. We were doing inventory one night and convinced one of the employees he needed to inventory the ice in the ice machine. We finally fessed up after he nearly walked out after counting two buckets full and the machine then dropped more ice.

We finally fessed up after he nearly walked out after counting two buckets full and the machine then dropped more ice.

New Guy Gag that Backfired

Had a boot chipping rust on an ammo storage bunker door with a needle gun / scaler.

I sent him over to the boatswain's dept to borrow an "8 1/2-inch throbbing tool." The Boatswains cussed him out and started the runaround. The boot was eventually sent to Engineering where a female O-3 Lieutenant was at the desk.

OK...this was the time Anita Hill / Clarence Thomas hearings and even opening a door for a female was somehow sexual harassment worthy of castration and hanging with a piano wire.

What does this boot say? (as it was later told to me )

Boot: "Mrs. Smith, Chief (me) wanted to know if we could borrow your 8 1/2- throbber."

Female Officer: "Huh? Say again seaman? Who sent you to borrow what?"

Boot:"Your 8 1/2-throbber Ma'am, you know, throbbing tool? Chief ##### wanted to know if we could borrow it."

Announcement over base loudspeaker..."GMC ######, please lay to the Engineering Office..."

We got our mms inspector last week to ask our new clerk for his offshore clerk certificate.


This clerk is a bit timid and was nervous because it was his first govt inspection.


He almost threw up

When I was in college and was working at a haberdashery, the guys told me to go upstairs and bring down the shelf lengtheners for the store.

I looked all over a paper mill job site in Jackson, Alabama for about 5 hours when old dayum Iron Worker told me to go find a sky hook.. :

This was about 4 decades ago..

In the Navy,I was sent to find bulkhead remover and didn't figure it out for about 3 hours.

The next time it was an A S H receptacle . As in an ashtray luckily that one only took about 30 minutes to figure out

When we would cut galvanized grating we would get the helper to grind it and then spray the cut ends with cold galavizing compound. Before I would start cutting I would hand him a brand new can and tell him he had to shake it till the ball stopped making noise to make sure its thick enough. We had one go a good 45 minutes shaking that damn paint can.


Another good one we use to do. I don't how many of you are familiar with Ultrasonic Testing of welds. Basically the techs use a paint brush to slop on some water with some type of thickening agent so the ut probe makes constant contact and the unit gets a reading. The substance is completely safe. Well after they would finish checking a weld we tell our helpers to get some rags and whipe the radiation off. The looks they would give you were priceless.

quote:

---

bravo alpha 1100 novembers

---

Oh shite, I forgot about the BA110n wind direction indicator.

I was training a new 5"/38 gun crew including an O1 Ensign who was all amped-up about being a "Gun Captain."

I incorporated the BA110n into my classroom lessons and procedures, but didn't tell butterbar exactly what it was.

He gets inside the turret. I then duct taped a mylar balloon atop the turret. The drills begin. I yell and give him shite about being slow...getting his crew killed as he's looking around inside the turret for the BA100n. He finally pops his head out of the turret to ask me about it...I cut my eyes over at the mylar balloon. The look on that poor boy's face!