New Homeowner - Need advice

Soil test
Till
Mix in chemicals
Sod

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Sod

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Going to be way too expensive for sod. We have 1/2 acre. Going to do a mulch bed in between and around the 2 trees or may just thrown down some pine straw and call it a day.

I'd just take those two trees out, they aren't doing anything for your yard.

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throw down some grass seed

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Any kind of seed in particular?

Seeds depends on your locale. Different grasses grow in different climates. Also have to take into account sub vs shade

Consider that the grass not growing under the trees may not be from lack of light but lack of water. Those trees more than likely are taking all the water from the surrounding area and preventing the grass from growing. You can trim them back all you want, but the grass still may not grow there.

Weed-eat it down as low as you can. Then plant seeds. Bermuda would be great, but it takes a while to get a good stand. I think they sell some sort of contractors mix that will have some bermuda and some fescue which will give you quick cover. Then next spring you will want to use some 2 4 d to get rid of most of the weeds.

The area under the trees may never grow grass, but your idea of some mulch and maybe some low growing, shade tolerant ground cover will work.

Congratulations on the new home! Until I had my own home I never understood the pride that comes with having my yard look good. Hard work but it can be satisfying.

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Weedeater and a cold beer.

And when she's done weedeating, she needs to fetch you another cold one straight away.

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My wife was mowing the lawn last weekend as I drank beer and watched from the lawn chair. My dog was sitting next to me. This old lady neighbor drives by. She stops at the top of my driveway and I wave. She yells at me "You should be hung!". I yelled back "I am, that's why she's mowing the fricking lawn. Do you want to buy some eggs?" There was a U-Haul in their driveway this morning.