re: Would you be ok with your child calling another man "dad"?

That's a completely different scenario if the kid doesn't have a Dad. We're talking about a divorce and the Mom remarrying and having the kid call the stepdad Dad

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We never coached him

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but i bet you didn't coach him not to do it

if you have any respect for that kid's father, you do not allow that to happen

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Any guy that allows this when the biological father is in the picture is a POS.

frick nah, I'd kill the morherfricker.

When my ex-wife remarried, I sat my son down and gave him permission to like her husband. I told him that no one should put a label on their relationship and expect them to conform to it. I told him to develop his own relationship with him and whatever he felt like calling him was fine with me. I told him that he and I define our own relationship and names, labels and such are no threat to the relationship that he and I have built....so to answer your question...it is not my call. It is my son's and our relationship is strong enough that it is not threatened by labels

My stepkids were 3 and 1 when my wife and I married. They originally called me by my first name before marriage and after a while got to calling me Papa (which we came across to avoid being similar to Daddy, as they call their father.).

Kids told us (I'm guessing while talking about what they've been doing with us they called me Papa) that their father whipped them and told them to not call me that or he'd continue.

We sat the kids down and told them they can just call me by my name because I'm more concerned about my childrens' feelings than being called something in particular.

I can't speak from the other side because I'm happily married and shouldn't have to worry about anybody else being Dad.

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Would you be ok with your child calling another man "dad"?

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Because let's make this all about the father, regardless of how the child feels.

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Agreed! Why would you put a child in such a difficult situation where there is now no right answer?

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but i bet you didn't coach him not to do it

if you have any respect for that kid's father, you do not allow that to happen


Any guy that allows this when the biological father is in the picture is a POS.

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We discussed it, but since he was so young and didn't see his dad much when my wife and i got married, we decided to let him call me whatever he wanted to. I have two girls older than him that I have primary custody of, and we felt like telling him it's ok for them to call me dad but not you would be worse than explaining the situation to him and telling him he could call me whatever he is comfortable with.

It would be different if he had been older, or if his dad had been more involved at the time, but I have treated him like my child since he was 9-months old, so I have no issue if he wants to call me dad.

I provide a great life for him and treat him like a son. His biological dad wasn't involved until recently, and still only a few days a month, so if not coaching him not to call me dad makes me a POS in his dads mind, I don't really care.

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Good job at confusing that kid at such and early age

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If by confusing him you mean providing a life where he learns respect and responsibility, and attends a Montessori school and is learning to speak 3 languages before entering kindergarten, then thanks. He is being raised in a loving home where he will have every chance to succeed in life.

Meanwhile, his dad still lives with his parents in his 30's, and is just barely involved. If he calls me Mr. or dad isn't nearly as important as whether he learns to be a responsible adult and how to be successful in life. The adults in these situations should focus on the kids instead of being immature and selfish by making a big deal about something trivial like a name.

Telling him you can call me whatever you want as long as you're respectful is the least confusing option, anyone pushing for something else on either side of the issue is wrong and being selfish at their childs expense.

Geez baw. Didn't mean to get you all butthurt

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Aubree

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My Goddaughter's name. I don't get the misspelling.

I like the name a lot.