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Started By
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re: Would turtles be terrifying if they were fast?
Posted on 7/23/14 at 3:57 pm to Jackie Chan
Posted on 7/23/14 at 3:57 pm to Jackie Chan
Now imagine that little frick being over the fence in like half a second and coming straight for you.
1
Posted on 7/23/14 at 3:58 pm to FT
quote:
They are exactly one MPH faster than the person they're chasing.
Are they straight line fast or are they nimble too? Can they cut like an NFL running back?
Posted on 7/23/14 at 3:59 pm to htownjeep
quote:Hm...
Are they straight line fast or are they nimble too? Can they cut like an NFL running back?
Yes. Terrifyingly, yes.
Posted on 7/23/14 at 4:00 pm to FT
Well it would depend on if they wore mask and wanted MY PIZZA
Posted on 7/23/14 at 4:01 pm to LSUTIGERMANIA
quote:This wasn't a very good post.
Well it would depend on if they wore mask and wanted MY PIZZA
Posted on 7/23/14 at 4:05 pm to FT
quote:
Are they straight line fast or are they nimble too? Can they cut like an NFL running back?
Hm...
Yes. Terrifyingly, yes.
If I have a turtle that can run faster than me and can cut like Barry Sanders, then yes...yes, I am scared shitless.
Posted on 7/23/14 at 4:37 pm to Peazey
this thread is delightful, OP
And to answer the question, frick yes turtles would be terrifying if they were fast.
I'm trying to imagine a large, pissed off snapping turtle that wants my anus, runs like a fricking deer and changes direction like Barry Sanders.
I can't outrun it, and trying to fight it off would be a futile effort, given the shell and what-not.
That and Honda-sized spiders would be the end of my ever going outside again.
And to answer the question, frick yes turtles would be terrifying if they were fast.
I'm trying to imagine a large, pissed off snapping turtle that wants my anus, runs like a fricking deer and changes direction like Barry Sanders.
I can't outrun it, and trying to fight it off would be a futile effort, given the shell and what-not.
That and Honda-sized spiders would be the end of my ever going outside again.
This post was edited on 7/23/14 at 4:38 pm
Posted on 7/23/14 at 4:39 pm to FT
I like turtles
Posted on 7/23/14 at 4:39 pm to Jackie Chan
quote:
Posted on 7/23/14 at 4:43 pm to FT
How high were you when you thought of this 
Posted on 7/23/14 at 4:43 pm to bhamtbone
Very mildly. I'm at work.
Posted on 7/23/14 at 5:00 pm to Jackie Chan
Posted on 7/23/14 at 5:07 pm to FT
How terrifying is this?
Posted on 7/23/14 at 5:36 pm to NawlinsTiger9
quote:If turtles were that fast, they'd also be strong enough to use those turtle claws to tear down your front door and get inside after you. Likewise, the Honda-spiders wouldn't take long to find ways to get into your house and chase you down, or web you on your front porch, so they could suck out your bodily fluids at leisure and leave you as a dry, desiccated husk after dinner-time was over.
this thread is delightful, OP
And to answer the question, frick yes turtles would be terrifying if they were fast...
That and Honda-sized spiders would be the end of my ever going outside again.
This post was edited on 7/23/14 at 5:37 pm
Posted on 7/23/14 at 6:04 pm to FT
Yes. They could set upon you and bite off all your toes before you knew what was happening.
Posted on 7/23/14 at 6:06 pm to FT
Alligator snapper? Hell yeah. Those frickers are mean and would eat your arse.
Posted on 7/23/14 at 6:10 pm to FT
my son's turtle's name is Turbo. He's sneaky fast when we put him on the floor
Posted on 7/23/14 at 6:28 pm to mauser
Gamera is the shite.
Posted on 7/23/14 at 6:32 pm to FT
This made me laugh-hard.
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