What's Your Best One-Liner Joke?

A priest, a rabbi, a duck, and Jessie Jackson walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look at them and says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"

I heard this great joke about the Jonestown Massacre, but the punchline was too long....

My dyslexic uncle Bob is always spelling his name backwards.....

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally...

So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere..

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair....

two peanuts walked down a dark alley; one was assaulted.

You're not fat you're just easier to see

Q: What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times? A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long." Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

Q: How do you circumcise an Aggie? Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopus.

A paraplegic walks into a bar. The bartender says, "hey, you can't just walk in here!"
The paraplegic goes "frick, you're right!"

*falls down*

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

Isn't it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.

A gift card is a great way to say, "Go buy your own fricking present".

I almost had a threesome last night I just needed two more people

Dating a single mother is like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

There is no way to aggressively say "tater tots".

A blow up doll means an entirely different thing in the middle east.