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re: Wedding "Money Dance" Question

Posted on 4/14/16 at 4:58 pm to
Posted by LSUAfro
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2005
12775 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 4:58 pm to
quote:

I've been to weddings all over the country and never even heard of this

Really? you went to LSU I presume? I haven't been to many weddings where it wasn't middle class and up and it's pretty common to see at $30-60k weddings. I've not seen it at the upper end of +$100k, but that's not a very common wedding in S La. My family and wife's family is NOLA/BR and river parishes and it's more the norm than not. Private school/college educated trashy folk I guess.
Posted by TheCaterpillar
Member since Jan 2004
76774 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 5:25 pm to
Ole Miss.

From Baton Rouge, married a girl from Jackson, MS.

I've seriously been to probably 20 weddings the last 2 years alone and never heard of it. From BR to ATL to Dallas to Portland to Seaside.
Posted by Jake88
Member since Apr 2005
68194 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 6:47 pm to
quote:

Private school/college educated trashy folk I guess.


It doesn't mean they are trashy, just that they had a lapse in taste.
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
62969 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 6:58 pm to
I went to a Polish wedding that could not have cost less than $100k in Chicago and they did it.

As an aside, it was the most ridiculously extravagant wedding I've been to. And I'm pretty sure I drank a bottle of vodka just in shots on top of the normal drinks I had during the night. I was drunk clear into Monday afternoon and needed an IV that Tuesday.
This post was edited on 4/14/16 at 6:59 pm
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
84830 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 7:01 pm to
quote:

It doesn't mean they are trashy, just that they had a lapse in taste


The last 12 pages should point out that it isn't trashy to anyone who knows wtf is going on. Personally, I can forgive someone who has never heard of it and is caught of guard, but the modern money dance is perfectly acceptable at most young weddings.

If anything, I'd say the money dance is classier than a collection tray or an envelope box for people to put in money. That gets much closer to panhandling than a money dance.
Posted by OntarioTiger
Canada
Member since Nov 2007
2118 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 7:18 pm to
GR Tiger you are right its tough to be more drunk than polish wedding drunk ...
Caterpillar I grew up in a farming town w/ lots of Poles, Slavs, Belgians, Germans etc and they all did money dances, Im wasp and we didn't do it but as I said earlier if someone had wanted to do it to dance w/ my bride and I giddy up. I will take your money
Posted by BamaChick
Terminus
Member since Dec 2008
21393 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 7:31 pm to
Grew up in Florida, went to Alabama, and have lived in Alabama for 21 years and been to 30+ weddings - but none in Louisiana - and I have never heard of this practice till now.

No judgment about the trashiness/classiness of it from me but now I'm hoping I get invited to a Louisiana wedding one day so I can see it live.
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
84830 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 8:09 pm to
quote:

No judgment about the trashiness/classiness of it from me but now I'm hoping I get invited to a Louisiana wedding one day so I can see it live.




You'll probably be disappointed if you're expecting a stripper-esque event like many in this thread are making it out to be.

Hell, there is a legitimate chance it could happen without you even knowing, much to the chagrin of the "it is trashy AF" crowd.
Posted by Jake88
Member since Apr 2005
68194 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 8:09 pm to
quote:

The last 12 pages should point out that it isn't trashy to anyone who knows wtf is going on.


Sorry, but it is. Look at any etiquette forum.


quote:

than a collection tray or an envelope box for people to put in money.


Trashy as well.
This post was edited on 4/14/16 at 8:11 pm
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
84830 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 8:15 pm to
quote:

Sorry, but it is. Look at any etiquette forum.



Well of course it isn't going to be popular in an etiquette handbook when most of the country doesn't seem to have any clue what is happening. shite, I wouldn't recommend it to someone who belongs to a family where it has never happened. Surely you can understand why it wouldn't be a suggestion in an etiquette book.

Just searched and found this as the first result for "wedding etiquette money dance" on Google - from TheKnot.com:

quote:

The dollar or money dance is one of those wedding traditions that's polarizing, especially on our Etiquette board. Here's why dollar dances are controversial: In places where the dollar dance isn't the norm it can seem like a public way of asking for a cash gift. On the other hand, in some circles it's not just acceptable, but encouraged for the couples to do the dollar dance. Like almost every tradition, what might seem rude to one couple may be totally appropriate and meaningful to another.


So pretty much exactly what I said.
Posted by Jake88
Member since Apr 2005
68194 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 8:20 pm to
quote:


Well of course it isn't going to be popular in an etiquette handbook when most of the country doesn't seem to have any clue what is happening.


It is asked about and occurs across the country. Those forums are not limited to La.

quote:

it can seem like a public way of asking for a cash gift.


It is. No polite party host asks/intimates for cash from guests, whether it's a wedding or other event. Sorry, it's tacky, just accept it and enjoy as you always have. I only responded initially to a question, but the defensiveness is amusing.
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
84830 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 8:29 pm to
quote:

Sorry, it's tacky,


In your circles, sure.

quote:

No polite party host asks/intimates for cash from guests


If that is the issue, why have a gift table or anything like that at all? Do you register for gifts, and if so, is that a problem?

The logic is the same.
Posted by Jake88
Member since Apr 2005
68194 posts
Posted on 4/14/16 at 8:47 pm to
quote:

If that is the issue, why have a gift table or anything like that at all? Do you register for gifts, and if so, is that a problem?

The logic is the same.



Registering for gifts is acceptable. I didn't but it's acceptible. Asking or intimating for money above and beyond those gifts is declasse.
Posted by TheCaterpillar
Member since Jan 2004
76774 posts
Posted on 4/15/16 at 8:33 am to
quote:


If anything, I'd say the money dance is classier than a collection tray or an envelope box for people to put in money. That gets much closer to panhandling than a money dance.



Who does any of this shite?

I could never ask for money from people like that. I would feel disgusting.

ETA:

But you do you, to each his own. I'm not going to give cash to anyone if I ever happen to see this at a wedding (which I doubt I will if it hasn't happened yet). I'll buy them a very nice gift, but definitely not handing them a bill out of my wallet like a dime store hooker.

This post was edited on 4/15/16 at 8:37 am
Posted by VetteGuy
Member since Feb 2008
28164 posts
Posted on 4/15/16 at 8:42 am to
quote:

No judgment about the trashiness/classiness of it from me but now I'm hoping I get invited to a Louisiana wedding one day so I can see it live.


It lacks any semblance of good taste. I asked my wife about this and she reminded me that I expressly forbade this when were married 25 years ago. (I doubt anyone at our wedding would have done it anyway)

I've only seen it one time IRL, but it honestly reminded me of giving money to strippers.
Posted by Tiger in Austin
Austin,TX
Member since Sep 2003
1755 posts
Posted on 4/15/16 at 9:37 am to
quote:

I've been to two Vietnamese weddings, a wedding in the Woodlands (LA boy and TX girl), a wedding in Georgia, Houma, Raceland, Thibodaux, Larose, Vacherie, Chauvin, Dulac, Morgan City, Scott, Monroe, Shreveport, NOLA.... All of them had money dances.


WTF? Never seen it. You must be hanging out with Viggas
Posted by Merlin08
Member since Apr 2012
1760 posts
Posted on 4/15/16 at 9:39 am to
It is a custom to have the "Money Dance". When my brother did not want to have it because his wife said it was trashy. My aunt got upset because she was a big proponent and that she was not trash. They ended up having it and u dont pin the money anymore...the women have someone hold a purse while the men have a top hat or something else. I have been to big money weddings in New Orleans that had this and it was very nice and respectable.
Posted by VetteGuy
Member since Feb 2008
28164 posts
Posted on 4/15/16 at 9:45 am to
I understand that it has been around awhile.

I just don't like it, but to each his own.
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