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re: Need Help for an Alcoholic Family Member

Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:34 am to
Posted by idlewatcher
County Jail
Member since Jan 2012
79349 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:34 am to
Is he a functional alcoholic or just binge drinks before bed?
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:36 am to
quote:

I guess a full blow intervention has to be the next step, but I don't think it will go very well. Should we try to isolate him away from his wife during the intervention since she may interfere with it? He is a retired military big wig, so it is very difficult for us to try to "preach" to someone who has fought in Vietnam, Cambodia, etc.

good luck, but as some other posters have said, you can't help someone until they want to be helped, tough situation
Posted by LSU alum wannabe
Katy, TX
Member since Jan 2004
27018 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:49 am to
He has a ready made codependent alcoholic in the house? That's a major uphill battle.

Sounds terminal. If he fought in Vietnam the guy is pushing up on or over 70. Never too late, but being that old makes odds much less. Just spend time with the person. Let him know how you feel without being confrontational. He is NOT commitable by the sound of this and he has a wife around, so he would just push you away.

Leave him the life line of always being there to get him help, but you'll help him in no other way. Financial etc. liver cirrhosis and hepatic encephalopathy are not a pretty ending. He will eventually end up in a facility of some sort where he can't drink anymore, while he is still lucid spend what time you can with him. Until it becomes painful for you. Meaning he gets shitfaced or always sick.
Posted by Will Cover
St. Louis, MO
Member since Mar 2007
38592 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:52 am to
quote:

Need Help for an Alcoholic Family Member


Until he actually wants help, there isn't much you can do. Yes, you can force it, but the key is he must "want" help.

Some people, even while in this state, can recognize that they need help. Some, on the other hand, don't know when they have reached their bottom and ultimately leave this world and others behind hurting.
Posted by Dunder Mifflin
Naples, FL
Member since Dec 2009
608 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:53 am to
I guess both. He is quite functional, but he drinks late at night in secret to help him sleep.

He's had appointments with his family practice doctor and his cardiologist in the last few weeks. My wife and I both attended the appointments and even gave the staff a heads-up on the drinking issue before the appointments. Staffs can't really respond due to HIPAA regulations, but alcohol was brought up at both appointments. He and the wife flat out denied drinking. It's sad.

He does have a hot female hematologist (No pics) who he respects. I am trying to get him to set up an appointment with her right now. If he refuses, I will try to get her to attend the intervention. We will see. Thanks again for all the advice. It was really a huge help. Made me feel a lot better about our efforts.
Posted by boddagetta
Moulton
Member since Mar 2011
9999 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:55 am to
quote:

any products out there that I can slip into his brandy bottle to make it taste terrible?


Arsenic
Posted by uptownsage
New Orleans
Member since Oct 2014
2156 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 10:03 am to
quote:

I hope I came to the right place. We don't want to lose him. He's been like a father to me for a long time. Thank you.



If he is committed to going sober, best place to try is Bridge House in New Orleans. In patient treatment with counseling, support groups, etc.
Posted by MBclass83
Member since Oct 2010
9388 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 10:10 am to
He has to go into a 90 day treatment facility. You can't just stop drinking. That could kill him. Needs to be done professionaly. Good luck.
Posted by dukke v
PLUTO
Member since Jul 2006
203418 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 10:16 am to
Find a way to get him some flagyl. It's an antibiotic but when you take it and mix with alcohol it's make you sick as a dog.
Posted by Hammertime
Will trade dowsing rod for titties
Member since Jan 2012
43030 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 10:17 am to
Only thing that stopped a guy I know was being hospitalized for liver failure. The truth is there isn't much you can do
Posted by tidalmouse
Whatsamotta U.
Member since Jan 2009
30706 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 10:52 am to
How old is he?How long has he been doing this?

Reason I ask is that I've seen someone slowly die from years of continuous Vodka drinking.Straight or with Gatoraide at the end.

One of the greatest guys I've ever known.Everyone loved him.Good looking.Funny.Never hurt anyone4 in his life.Never said hurtful words.Was polite.Was kind to everyone.

He was staying at a mutual buddy's house.Kind of a Rehab for him.My buddy was giving him 1 1/2 oz of Vodka every 4-6 hours.

I saw him a few times and he was crawling out of his skin.I've never seen anyone suffering so.

I gave him zanax.A Doctor gave him Klonapine.At that point the damage was done.He died about 3 months later.

Best of luck with your situation.If you care about them then check in on them.Make sure they're eating.Taking care of themselves.



Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
261542 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 11:01 am to
quote:

Antabuse will make him violently ill and throw up if he drinks but he has to take the pills every day.


Had no affect on me. Never got sick

He needs to get into rehab where they can give him something to help him sleep. Night was my biggest fear, couldn't go to bed sober. They'll probably put him on Seroquel or something similar.

If he doesn't want to go to rehab there's nothing you can do. Just don't disappear though, hang in there and he'll remember that when he does get sober.
Posted by TaderSalad
mudbug territory
Member since Jul 2014
24671 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 11:09 am to
quote:

Are there any products out there that I can slip into his brandy bottle to make it taste terrible?



Piss. A chunk of feces... both affordable
Posted by SlapahoeTribe
Tiger Nation
Member since Jul 2012
12120 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 11:13 am to
quote:

Are there any products out there that I can slip into his brandy bottle to make it taste terrible?

LA Beast drinks Bitrex
Posted by ole man
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2007
11761 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 11:19 am to
I been sober 31 yrs, Until he is ready he won't stop,
an intervention may work or not work, I was a functioning alcoholic, The reality of it is he might not ever get it, you should try some alanon meetings or even some open AA meetings
Posted by LSU0358
Member since Jan 2005
7919 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 11:35 am to
quote:

drinks late at night in secret to help him sleep


You mentioned Vietnam and Cambodia...it this "just" a drinking problem? Or is the drinking brought on by other issues like PTSD etc? Don't know if it makes a difference in treatment method, but it is something to consider.
Posted by SohCahToa
New Orleans, La
Member since Jan 2011
7750 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 11:36 am to
What he said. I was a homeless heroin addict who didn't think he had a problem.
This post was edited on 10/10/16 at 11:48 am
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