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Message
2
Posted on 9/23/17 at 7:50 am to ImNotDrunk
Girls/women that do this kind of shite only do it because they deep down feel that they can get away with it. Just like her disclosing that she "is afraid of losing you" already tells you her intentions. She plans on fricking around with her ex for a while and if it goes bad, she knows she'll always have you on the back burner.
Sounds like you've been too good to her as it is. If she pulled all kinds of suicidal shite, and you stuck with her through it only for her to go back and forth on you some other dude; you should forget she ever existed and move on.
Sounds like you've been too good to her as it is. If she pulled all kinds of suicidal shite, and you stuck with her through it only for her to go back and forth on you some other dude; you should forget she ever existed and move on.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 7:53 am to ImNotDrunk
It's a long hard road and may never get better with her. I'm glad she made it. I agree with the sentiment that you have to think long and hard about yourself here too though.
How early in the relationship did you have to previously talk her out of it? Does it manifest in other negative ways for you guys? And some tough questions like is there blurriness between actual love, vs wanting to save someone.
Make sure this is likewise a good place for you to be in and properly reflecting on your own wellness.
Edit: just saw the update. Instability from her is no surprise. Again, I'll echo do you want her or are you scared of feeling guilt about not saving her?
Take this as a chance to get away, get some space and reflect on yourself. What's inspires you to call a suicidal, cheater, that places you behind another man the love of your life? It sounds like you are romanticizing a bad situation to help justify staying. Do you quietly enjoy the drama? Do you have a savior complex? What are you learning about yourself?
How early in the relationship did you have to previously talk her out of it? Does it manifest in other negative ways for you guys? And some tough questions like is there blurriness between actual love, vs wanting to save someone.
Make sure this is likewise a good place for you to be in and properly reflecting on your own wellness.
Edit: just saw the update. Instability from her is no surprise. Again, I'll echo do you want her or are you scared of feeling guilt about not saving her?
Take this as a chance to get away, get some space and reflect on yourself. What's inspires you to call a suicidal, cheater, that places you behind another man the love of your life? It sounds like you are romanticizing a bad situation to help justify staying. Do you quietly enjoy the drama? Do you have a savior complex? What are you learning about yourself?
This post was edited on 9/23/17 at 8:03 am
Posted on 9/23/17 at 7:58 am to Kafka
This is your out. Take it and run.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 7:59 am to Zlatan
Well she needs time with herself and her family. She isn't ready for a relationship and if you really care about her you will let her go.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 8:05 am to Kafka
quote:
What do y'all think I oughta do? I think I'm going to call her mom tomorrow, and tell her to watch her really carefully.. I'm so afraid of what might happen to her right now but I feel like I had to do what is best for my own future. Did I make the wrong decision fellas? Should I have given her another chance? I love this girl but I think that I made the right decision.
For your own peace of mind, let her Mom know what happened and that she may be at risk for some of her previous behaviors. Outside of that, cut all ties. Be done with it. Don't let her use her depression as an excuse to be a cheating bitch.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 8:07 am to BluegrassBelle
I've been in your shoes. It does not get better. Take the opportunity and get out. Seriously. Leave this women.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 8:13 am to Zlatan
quote:
Zlatan
Quit your ownership of her problems. She is clearly insane.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 8:23 am to Sody Cracker
Upon further reflection, he should stay involved with the love of his life. It will be like working offshore with the ex, in the mix.
Each guy will get 7 on and 7 off days. Sounds ideal.
Each guy will get 7 on and 7 off days. Sounds ideal.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 8:30 am to Kafka
quote:Um, is Zlatan one of your alters? Because this "bump" is kind of bizarre.
Kafka
quote:
...do y'all now think my choice was the right one?
Posted on 9/23/17 at 8:53 am to Zlatan
Ruuuunnnn awaaaaayyyyy and never return
Posted on 9/23/17 at 9:10 am to Kafka
Crazy pussy always seems to be the best but not something you want to tie down.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 9:21 am to Rize
I was once in a dysfunctional relationship with a woman that could be set off by many things, and she would curl up into a fetal position and cry uncontrollably for hours. I thought over and over I needed to help her, and so I stayed in the relationship, and it was the worst decision ever. Finally, had two of my life-long friends on a fishing trip to the GOM tell me I was making a huge mistake and that as long as I was with her, I wasn't going to be invited back to their homes. It hurt and I hated them for their brutal honesty with me at the time, because I really had feelings for her, but now, I look back, and Jesus Christ, were they ever right, and I love them all the more for being my best friend and caring about me. It was like I was caught up in a constant tornado unable to get out of it.
Hope OP understands this relationship will always be marred by this, he'll always be on eggshells around her and his life will be negatively affected by the problems she has, not that he has. Sure, he can be seen as the savior, but that won't mean a damn thing when she does something that causes EVERYONE ultimate pain and suffering. Rip the band-aid off now.
Hope OP understands this relationship will always be marred by this, he'll always be on eggshells around her and his life will be negatively affected by the problems she has, not that he has. Sure, he can be seen as the savior, but that won't mean a damn thing when she does something that causes EVERYONE ultimate pain and suffering. Rip the band-aid off now.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 9:25 am to Kafka
It's honestly understandable that you truly care for her and are emotionally invested in her well-being and your relationship together. But from where I sit you have one life to live and you have to ask yourself if you really see this woman as a partner you can build a happy, healthy, stable life with. Is she someone you'd be comfortable leaving your small children with if you had to go out of town for business? She seems to have quite a lot going on and I honestly fear there's a better chance she won't get better as she grows older.
There may be some way for you to communicate that you care about her and will leave the door open to help if she needs a friend. But unless you want to spend your life miserable because you feel obligated to see to her safety, I suggest you walk away. I'm sure she's a sweet person whomsimcerely wishes she were mentally and emotionally more stable. But people like that, even if they aren't mean or evil, can be emotional black holes that spiritually bleed you dry.
There may be some way for you to communicate that you care about her and will leave the door open to help if she needs a friend. But unless you want to spend your life miserable because you feel obligated to see to her safety, I suggest you walk away. I'm sure she's a sweet person whomsimcerely wishes she were mentally and emotionally more stable. But people like that, even if they aren't mean or evil, can be emotional black holes that spiritually bleed you dry.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 9:27 am to Wolfhound45
quote:The OP got drunk and started a new, follow up thread around midnight. He later deleted his post.
Um, is Zlatan one of your alters? Because this "bump" is kind of bizarre
Kafka had quoted the deleted post and spliced it into the original thread from June.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 9:28 am to Zlatan
Sounds like you dodged a huge bullet.
Glad you realized that you deserve better and don't have to necessarily strap yourself to someone that is ticking time bomb just because you are scared they may harm themselves if you leave.
I think talking to her family so they can watch out for her is a great idea. You don't want anything bad to happen to the girl, you just can't be a part of the craziness anymore. You have to do what is best for you ultimately.
Glad you realized that you deserve better and don't have to necessarily strap yourself to someone that is ticking time bomb just because you are scared they may harm themselves if you leave.
I think talking to her family so they can watch out for her is a great idea. You don't want anything bad to happen to the girl, you just can't be a part of the craziness anymore. You have to do what is best for you ultimately.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 9:30 am to Zlatan
Got dayum there's a special place in hell for your ex.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 9:46 am to AUCE05
quote:
You need to bounce, man. She will be successful eventually, and you don't want to raise a few kids by yourself. Also, that shite will pass to your kids.
Imagine how difficult this is, then imagine dealing with it all over again with your kids.
My fiance has bad anxiety and that's bad enough. I can only deal w it because i've known her for 15 years and know all her quirks. I'm comfortable with her condition, IDK if i could hang if she was suicidal as well.
It would be diff if this was new and hand't tried professional help before, but nothing seems to be working for your girl. Just like you couldn't stop it before. staying with her won't stop it from happening again.
If you stay, please don't have kids until she has a track record of at least a few years of good mental health.
EDIT:: didnt realize the story was updated...
she was already iffy to begin with, now we know shes just a psychotic game player and you're being used like a teddy bear she uses for comfort. you deserve better.
This post was edited on 9/23/17 at 9:53 am
Posted on 9/23/17 at 9:51 am to Zlatan
Prayers to the young lady. Mental illness is heartbreaking.
Posted on 9/23/17 at 9:54 am to Navytiger74
What he said .
Here's an observation I've discovered over time . Amazing people get amazing lives . If you saddle yourself with dysfunction and sadness you will have a life of sadness and dysfunction. Ideally, your partner should make you raise your game . That in turn influences your children and the people around you . And one day you wake up and you are blessed beyond measure and you feel true gratitude. That doesn't come from nursing somebody through life . It's YOUR journey bro, you get to take it once.
Here's an observation I've discovered over time . Amazing people get amazing lives . If you saddle yourself with dysfunction and sadness you will have a life of sadness and dysfunction. Ideally, your partner should make you raise your game . That in turn influences your children and the people around you . And one day you wake up and you are blessed beyond measure and you feel true gratitude. That doesn't come from nursing somebody through life . It's YOUR journey bro, you get to take it once.
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