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re: How bad can it possibly be? How can someone with their whole life ahead of them
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:38 pm to ReauxlTide222
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:38 pm to ReauxlTide222
Sorry for your loss. They probably don't think it's ok, but more think that the pain they are feeling, or the loneliness or despair cannot be overcome and haven't in themselves to seek out help or feel they have anyone to turn to. One never knows what goes through the mind of others. Especially if they don't want it known. They'll put on a happy face and those around them will be blind to the pain they are experiencing within.
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Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:39 pm to recruitnik
(no message)
This post was edited on 2/9/15 at 6:40 pm
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:40 pm to SECdragonmaster
quote:
They choose to end their own personal suffering while simultaneously causing anguish and despair in countless others.
these are the thinkings of a (somewhat) rational mind. until you've been in that pit, you have no idea how bad that personal suffering really is.
quote:
Spare us all the "what about how they feel?" Your feelings are just that. Feelings. Not reality. Not facts. Just emotional underpinnings swept away with human sentiment.
again, this is easy to say if you're at a state of happiness in your life. people don't kill themselves because they feel bad, but know it's temporary. it's very permanent for these people, and it's very shortsighted to judge their mental state against a normal, happy, and rational mental state.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:41 pm to TH03
This shite is retarded guys.
Buddy of a large amount of people in my home town shot himself at 8am yesterday because his fricking stupid arse ex girlfriend wouldn't talk to him. Broke up a little while ago, have a 3 year old daughter, and he's wanted to get back together with her and she's been toying with him a bit.
Now this. It's over. He can't fix anything now. People who count on him have nothing now.
Last Tuesday I sat exactly where I'm sitting right now and talked to him about how he felt about this whole situation. I'm not distraught about "what I could have done" or anything like that. It just kills me that I knkw now that he was dying on the inside while we were talking but refused to let us know. He probably wasn't even on the same planet while we were shootin the shite about this girl and him trying to get back with her. It was just normal guy talk between friends, while he was in an incomprehensible state of hurt.
Buddy of a large amount of people in my home town shot himself at 8am yesterday because his fricking stupid arse ex girlfriend wouldn't talk to him. Broke up a little while ago, have a 3 year old daughter, and he's wanted to get back together with her and she's been toying with him a bit.
Now this. It's over. He can't fix anything now. People who count on him have nothing now.
Last Tuesday I sat exactly where I'm sitting right now and talked to him about how he felt about this whole situation. I'm not distraught about "what I could have done" or anything like that. It just kills me that I knkw now that he was dying on the inside while we were talking but refused to let us know. He probably wasn't even on the same planet while we were shootin the shite about this girl and him trying to get back with her. It was just normal guy talk between friends, while he was in an incomprehensible state of hurt.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:42 pm to ReauxlTide222
people that end up killing themselves are the very best at hiding how they feel, even to their closest friends and family.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:42 pm to ReauxlTide222
quote:
Buddy of a large amount of people in my home town shot himself at 8am yesterday because his fricking stupid arse ex girlfriend wouldn't talk to him.
unless he has some sort of mental illness, Im sure it was much more than that to cause him to commit suicide
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:43 pm to ReauxlTide222
He probably had other issues going on but losing the GF and kid was the final tipping point.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:44 pm to TH03
quote:
it's very permanent for these people,
And often hereditary. My best friend killed himself in September of 2013. His mom, dad and younger brother did the same thing before him. He seemingly had it all from the outside looking in. But, he was so tortured by internal demons. I was the last person he talked to.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:44 pm to ReauxlTide222
quote:
knkw now that he was dying on the inside while we were talking but refused to let us know
sometimes the pain is so deep, it can't be let out. Not everyone deals with pain the same way and some don't know how to let it out. It's a shortcoming on their part and unfortunately, if they don't want you to know that, then you won't know until it's too late.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:44 pm to TH03
Well said buddy
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:45 pm to ReauxlTide222
it may be an illness.
but in this case, it's straight up selfishness. Think of his little girl, that's what he's leaving behind. He thinks the relationship with his ex was the only thing he had going on in his life...no, his daughter should have been it.
now, she grows up without a father because he chose this route.
normally i am sympathetic in these situations. However, your friend chose the cowardly way out. His girl doesn't deserve this. His ex doesn't deserve the guilt. His friends don't either. He doesn't deserve the grief and tears that he's going to get.
but in this case, it's straight up selfishness. Think of his little girl, that's what he's leaving behind. He thinks the relationship with his ex was the only thing he had going on in his life...no, his daughter should have been it.
now, she grows up without a father because he chose this route.
normally i am sympathetic in these situations. However, your friend chose the cowardly way out. His girl doesn't deserve this. His ex doesn't deserve the guilt. His friends don't either. He doesn't deserve the grief and tears that he's going to get.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:47 pm to stringer_bell
quote:
Have empathy. Have understanding. Choose to relate to your fellow man instead of being sanctimonious on the internet.
Empathy has nothing to do with my stance on this issue and it would be misplaced in this situation. I am not minimizing the pain and suffering of depression. It is one of the most debilitating illnesses out there. Especially since so many people do not understand it. I would not wish depression on my worst enemy.
However, the solution of suicide is not a solution at all. Most people fail in treatment because they are noncompliant with their medications and refuse therapy or ignore the recommendations of the therapist.
You would be shocked at the number of people who are dealing with severe symptoms but choose to ignore interventions and just say "I try to do it but I just can't." That is not acceptable.
I have endless empathy for anyone who is committed to improving their situation.
This post was edited on 2/9/15 at 6:49 pm
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:47 pm to ReauxlTide222
Cause you get tired of the never ending bull shite and disappointment and this solves the problem.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:48 pm to ReauxlTide222
So now a little girl doesn't have a daddy. 
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:51 pm to SECdragonmaster
you are extremely oversimplifying an extremely complicated mindset.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:53 pm to ReauxlTide222
quote:
Why would someone cause everyone around them this much heartache?
They aren't thinking of others, they just want their pain to end. It fricking sucks, but I wouldn't want to live everyday battling that deep depression and feeling helpless. And as much as it does suck right now eventually it does get better.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:54 pm to TH03
No doubt he is. The darkness becomes reality for some people, they see no other way. No matter the aftermath they leave behind. My friend left behind two sons and a wife. His parents left behind three sons. It is something that isn't understandable for people that aren't wired the way they are. My great grandfather committed suicide as well.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:55 pm to ReauxlTide222
I don't understand why it's so hard for some people to conceive that their way of life, thinking, and seeing the world isn't the same as the 6 billion other people on this planet. People experience life differently, whether it's because of experiences, culture, chemicals in the brain, etc. People from Alabama seem to have a particularly difficult time grasping this.
Posted on 2/9/15 at 6:59 pm to stout
quote:I don't doubt this one bit. But just 1 week ago I gave him every opportunity for him to say anything he needed. And his absolute best friends have done that multiple times. Everybody knew what he was dealing with(from the outside looking in) and was able to see how serious his problems either were or weren't. But he couldn't see it. Or was saying things that weren't in line with how he actually felt. I don't understand why though. He wasn't alone. His problems were common problems.
He probably had other issues going on but losing the GF and kid was the final tipping point.
This post was edited on 2/9/15 at 7:01 pm
Posted on 2/9/15 at 7:02 pm to ReauxlTide222
They don't think logically as you do. It's just not as simple as saying they are selfish for the pain they are inflicting on others. When someone is in enough pain or a state that would cause that person to take his or her own life, they aren't able to process the pain of others. I think many believe that if they are gone, they will not give more pain to others.
It's a very difficult concept to understand or even accept. Every case certainly isn't the same. Take a child, for example, who commits suicide. Would you call a 15 year old selfish? Do you think because someone is an adult, they are automatically selfish? I'm not asking you specifically, by the way.
A chemical imbalance, for example, can do a mean job on a person. I have a relative who was terribly depressed many years ago. She had minor children and she attempted to take her own life via pills, but fortunately, she was found in time to save her life. She went through a lot of testing, counseling and guilt, of course. She had a chemical imbalance, clinical depression and it took a lot of tinkering to get her on meds so that she could live a pretty normal happy life. Even over time, the body changed and her meds had to be adjusted.There were plenty of very difficult times and she felt awful that people were having to help her so much financially and otherwise, to get through it. That's what family does, though. It's a constant uphill battle for her to continue to live a very happy life. She's got some big bumps in the road, but she is some grateful that she was saved for whatever reason. She loves her life and is very very happy with the exception of times that require changes. She's got a lot of support, though, and family who know what to look for.
Anyway, like I said, it's not usually simple and it's not usually selfish. It usually results from indescribable pain and illness. Every case is different.
It's a very difficult concept to understand or even accept. Every case certainly isn't the same. Take a child, for example, who commits suicide. Would you call a 15 year old selfish? Do you think because someone is an adult, they are automatically selfish? I'm not asking you specifically, by the way.
A chemical imbalance, for example, can do a mean job on a person. I have a relative who was terribly depressed many years ago. She had minor children and she attempted to take her own life via pills, but fortunately, she was found in time to save her life. She went through a lot of testing, counseling and guilt, of course. She had a chemical imbalance, clinical depression and it took a lot of tinkering to get her on meds so that she could live a pretty normal happy life. Even over time, the body changed and her meds had to be adjusted.There were plenty of very difficult times and she felt awful that people were having to help her so much financially and otherwise, to get through it. That's what family does, though. It's a constant uphill battle for her to continue to live a very happy life. She's got some big bumps in the road, but she is some grateful that she was saved for whatever reason. She loves her life and is very very happy with the exception of times that require changes. She's got a lot of support, though, and family who know what to look for.
Anyway, like I said, it's not usually simple and it's not usually selfish. It usually results from indescribable pain and illness. Every case is different.
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