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re: Ever dated a girl with an eating disorder?

Posted on 8/29/15 at 12:40 pm to
Posted by ProbyOne
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2004
1914 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 12:40 pm to
Force the discussion. Don't show any sign of weakness when talking about it.

Make sure she knows it is a terrible thing to be doing (do some research on it if you haven't already).


If she pushes you away then let it be on her.

She will likely be very good at dodging the discussion and/or denying that she has done anything.
Posted by lsu480
Downtown Scottsdale
Member since Oct 2007
92876 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 12:41 pm to
If a woman doesn't have an eating disorder she isn't trying
Posted by weadjust
Member since Aug 2012
15098 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 12:41 pm to
quote:

not gonna run just yet


Since your not gonna run. MY advise would be to hold her hair and PIIHB while she's bent over
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
98184 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 12:42 pm to
No, but a friend's cousin died of it. She was smart, pretty, had everything going for her. Very sad.
Posted by Toecutter
Parts Unknown
Member since Oct 2014
203 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 12:42 pm to
Weak gag reflex. IWNHI.
Posted by wheelr
Member since Jul 2012
5147 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 12:55 pm to
quote:

but she said she rarely does it anymore and that it's no longer a problem. I know that's not the case because ever since she told me that all the signs have become obvious.


So she has no problem lying to you. Beware.
Posted by Crow Pie
Neuro ICU - Tulane Med Center
Member since Feb 2010
25315 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:06 pm to
All girls have eating disorders.
Posted by tracytiger
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2009
3631 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:07 pm to
Yep, she lies while destroying her body and has a mental problem.

Posted by Voorhies7
Rounding 3rd
Member since Oct 2012
5591 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:07 pm to
Bet she is a deep thoating mofo.
Posted by BoardReader
Arkansas
Member since Dec 2007
6928 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:15 pm to
Bits and parts of this are going to sound terrible.

First, yes. I have. Second, a lot of (I would hazard *most*, but that may be subjective to my experience), show signs of other mental issues-- for some it is obviously open crazy behavior; for others, it can just be something like super extreme rationalization.

My own experience was with a girl in college; she was a two-BJ a day girl, every day-- but no more or less, which I thought was fantastic- I wasn't going to be pissed if she didn't want a third. She was a bright, engaging personality that I also enjoyed being around, and was in the early stages of a biochemistry major.

I had my suspicions about an aversion to healthy eating habits, when I started to notice she'd avoid meeting up at mealtimes, or in those instances where she did agree, she'd invariably have a reason to leave very early. Something was always coming up that was urgent.

Anyway, its a super hard topic to bring up, if someone doesn't volunteer it; I spent a few weeks tiptoeing around the topic, trying to engage her in discussions about things like food, with no success at all. What broke it in my mind, was when were talking one night about intimacy, and why she enjoyed giving BJs so much, and she commented that it always made her feel better if she could get her daily protein, without having to worry about meals-- but she had to worry about portion control, so

Now, I know she wasn't as foolish as to actually believe that it was all the protien the human body needs, but she had an extended rationalization about why her behavior was 'helping' herself. That was the point I realized that she had a problem. Just to be sure, I started asking a few more hypothetical questions, to se what she could rationalize as acceptable, in unrelated things-- like, should the mentally retarded be sterilized, if so, is there a rational basis for sterilization of others, and so on. The leaps of logic she demonstrated in some of those were equally perplexing and worrying.

Yeah, I'm probably a terrible human being for not calling it quits right then, but the relationship was over in another month as I tried to encourage her to seek counseling.





This post was edited on 8/29/15 at 1:17 pm
Posted by BigPerm30
Member since Aug 2011
25918 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:16 pm to
I had a girlfriend that always wanted to deep throat me after a big meal.
Posted by learnthehardway
B.R./Northshore
Member since Oct 2007
10023 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:19 pm to
Potd
Posted by saderade
America's City
Member since Jul 2005
25737 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:20 pm to
My advice would be to get her help. A good friend of mine is actually a mental health specialist in eating disorders in New Orleans
Posted by Isabelle
Member since Jul 2012
2726 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:23 pm to
It is a disease and it can be deadly. She needs an intervention.
Posted by theBOSSman!!
Member since Nov 2012
240 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:34 pm to
It isn't that easy though. If I'm the only person she's been willing to tell and she still won't even talk to me about it then how am I supposed to get her help? She has to want to help herself first and I'm not sure that she realizes she needs it. I don't know how to make her realize this is a problem. I'm not going to talk to her friends or family about it as that would be a violation of something she told me confidentially and only make things worse. I want to help her but I worry that it may not be possible
Posted by TheIndulger
Member since Sep 2011
19239 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:39 pm to
quote:




This post was edited on 8/29/15 at 1:40 pm
Posted by mouton
Savannah,Ga
Member since Aug 2006
28276 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:49 pm to
quote:

Yeah. She was a vegan.


What is wrong with that?
Posted by yurintroubl
Dallas, Tx.
Member since Apr 2008
30164 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:58 pm to
I have. IMO - Best thing you can do is go about like she never told you. Go on like business as usual. The fact that she opened up to you about such a thing is huge. It's usually the first step to controlling the issue. If you know anybody else in your life that has beaten an eating disorder - Then maybe you should ask her if she'd like you to put her in touch with that person. More than anything - She needs to not feel strange for having told you. These ppl feel like they need to be normal - even though they know on at least one level they aren't.

BUSINESS AS USUAL = best thing you can do for her.


ETA:

If she starts talking with you more often/more openly - THEN is when you start to discuss suggestions.
This post was edited on 8/29/15 at 2:02 pm
Posted by Corch Urban Myers
Columbus, OH
Member since Jul 2009
5993 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:58 pm to
quote:

SO has bulimia and doesn't like to discuss it, what sort of action should I be taking?


Well, I mean if you don't mind her teeth rotting out from all that vomit before she is 40, than I say stick with it.
Posted by rintintin
Life is Life
Member since Nov 2008
16178 posts
Posted on 8/29/15 at 1:59 pm to
My GF used to before I met her. She did lots of counseling to break it. It's mainly insecurity and control issues, which most people have really, they just deal with it differently.
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