re: Douchey Things You've Recently Done

A few weeks ago at 50 cent corn dog day at Sonic me and some buddies rolled up about 10 minutes before close and ordered 20 corn dogs.

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I've not told him that I know who he is but he has to be asking himself how I'm so specifically critical.

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Don't. Let him think that his thoughts come through and paint his picture.

Drank my feelings watching the LSU game and accidentally broke a pint glass at the sports bar pretending to dunk my cell phone into it because people were blowing it up with negativity. Continued to drink out of the broken glass despite being told not to.

I was THAT guy.

Paid $1200 for tax, title, and license on my car since I moved back to Louisiana recently.

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SONIC NOW

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Pick one baw

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I didn't give money to the girls sitting outside the store asking for donation for some teen christian ministry. I just said "nah, I'm good, thank you."

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I was in a 3rd world country and a girl tried to sell me a magnet for $2.

I negotiated it down to $1.

I felt like an a-hole afterwards. You're always negotiating everything there so it's hard to turn off.

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Expedition baw, kids are growing like weeds. I suspect the 9 year is on steroids.

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You need to trade that Expedition in on a low mileage Diesel Excursion, baw. The wife and kids will never be safer. You'll win every accident.

So you got your 9 year old on the juice already? Had a buddy in high school who's parents were worried is younger brother was going to be small because he was tiny for his age. They talked their Dr into putting the kid on HGH in middle school. Kid ended up being 6'3 and allegedly grew a big ol monster wiener too. I've got two boys and I'm gonna tell our doctor to hook up the growth hormone so one of them can get an NFL contract.

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Douchey Things You've Recently Done

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This isnt recent, hell its been over 20 years ago. When I lived in Mississippi I was walking my dog one day and we came to a part where the sidewalk was blocked so we walked in the grass of this elderly couple's yard. They were outside doing something and boom, right there in front of them my dog drops a big runny deuce. I look at them and say Im sorry, the man just shrugged it off but his wife goes off saying I need to pick it up ect. I tell her I dont have anything with me to do so but if she does I have no problem picking it up. She starts cussing me out so i say fk it and continue walking. I get about 5-6 houses away from them when I hear a car racing up behind me, I turn around and I see the woman in her SUV speeding towards me, I pull my dog close to me so she wont hit him and as she slows down and rolls her window down out comes a white styrofoam cup of dogshit, it hits the ground inches from my foot and some of the contents splashed up on my shoe. Im pissed at this point to say the least. Bad part is, she had to go to the end of the street and turn around to get back to her house. I see her coming and I pick up the cup, as she passes i throw the cup at her SUV and when it hit the side, dogshit just went all down the side of that vehicle. It was a white suv too so it really looked bad. At the time I thought it was hilarious but even to this day I feel bad when I think about it. Like man, that was fk'd up.

I wore a bow tie one night last week.

Thats a good one

I had a friend not myself right after Katrina he didn't have his medication and while driving through Belle Chasse in a school zone at around 70 miles an hour he gave the cops the peace sign as he passed. Yeah he went to jail that day