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re: Does every romantic relationship need a purpose? Roommate seems to think so...
Posted on 1/11/16 at 3:49 pm to saint amant steve
Posted on 1/11/16 at 3:49 pm to saint amant steve
This thread has been great.
Now... As to the purpose of your relationship, because I think this subterfuge about the roommate keeps popping into your mind because it brings up your own uncertainty...
Assuming you are about 19 as well: The point of your relationship now shouldn't be to find a lifelong marriage partner. Too young. Instead, it's to gain knowledge of what you do and do not like in a future spouse. It's to broaden your life experiences so that 20 years from now you won't wonder "what if?" And it gives you a baseline life experience so you match up with a future spouse correctly.
Hence why this dude's relationship will fail. 1. Too serious too soon, sounds like. 2. If they marry, she'll wake up wondering what if. 3. Disparate life experiences like that don't bode well.
Tell him it is glorifying God bc if you discover this woman should not be the mother of your 17 babies, you've saved everyone future heartache and despair.
Now... As to the purpose of your relationship, because I think this subterfuge about the roommate keeps popping into your mind because it brings up your own uncertainty...
Assuming you are about 19 as well: The point of your relationship now shouldn't be to find a lifelong marriage partner. Too young. Instead, it's to gain knowledge of what you do and do not like in a future spouse. It's to broaden your life experiences so that 20 years from now you won't wonder "what if?" And it gives you a baseline life experience so you match up with a future spouse correctly.
Hence why this dude's relationship will fail. 1. Too serious too soon, sounds like. 2. If they marry, she'll wake up wondering what if. 3. Disparate life experiences like that don't bode well.
Tell him it is glorifying God bc if you discover this woman should not be the mother of your 17 babies, you've saved everyone future heartache and despair.
2
Posted on 1/11/16 at 3:49 pm to saint amant steve
Technically, he's correct, as in, as a Christian everything should be done to glorify God, although that thought is hard even for many Christians to understand much less follow. His response shows a good level of spiritual maturity and development.
However, he's going to have to understand (meaning youre going to have to tell him) that everyone has a different walk and viewpoint and he's going to have to chill out a bit on how he views others lest he alienate himself and others.
However, he's going to have to understand (meaning youre going to have to tell him) that everyone has a different walk and viewpoint and he's going to have to chill out a bit on how he views others lest he alienate himself and others.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 3:54 pm to saint amant steve
quote:
A little background information on my roommate: He has a wild past and did some pretty crazy stuff up until a few months ago (massive drug use, hooking up on a regular basis, etc.). But all of that changed a few months ago.
He met some cute girl at LSU who is VERY devout in her faith. She comes from a large family and they are all very involved in their church. Somehow, this young woman managed to turn my roommate away from his 'heathen/debaucherous' ways. He got saved shortly after meeting her and has rededicated his life to praising God. Also, he is now involved in a romantic relationship with this girl after 'courting' her for about two months.
Not reading the whole thread, but that girl needs to run. He isn't done, he has just redirected.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 3:58 pm to JBeam
quote:
Which gives me the impression that his current lifestyle isn't going to last long.
I'd bet good money that you're right.
Been there. You go hard with your new found beliefs, then just burn yourself out very quickly.
I equate it to being pumped to run a race, and full out sprinting from the get go.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:00 pm to Havoc
quote:
However, he's going to have to understand (meaning youre going to have to tell him) that everyone has a different walk and viewpoint and he's going to have to chill out a bit on how he views others lest he alienate himself and others.
A lot of folks could stand to heed this advice.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:00 pm to saint amant steve
quote:
It's a shame, because she's pretty attractive.
You should frick her.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:00 pm to saint amant steve
what's the purpose of this thread?
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:03 pm to saint amant steve
Is this the same girl that asked to re-arrange his room while he was out of town, then showed up with the whole team and dug through all his stuff?
If so, he is a lunatic because he saves his old condoms and you cleaned them up before the search party started. How many were there searching? 5?
There is no reason you have to discuss and justify your relationship to him. If he brings it up again you can tell him that you choose not to discuss it. You do not even have to tell him why.
This girl is going to want to split you and your room mate up. She wants you out of his life. Do not ever spend a second alone with her or she will say you tried to grope her naughty bits.
You do you and let him do him while you protect yourself from her. Or invite her to a threesome and get the ball rolling.
If so, he is a lunatic because he saves his old condoms and you cleaned them up before the search party started. How many were there searching? 5?
There is no reason you have to discuss and justify your relationship to him. If he brings it up again you can tell him that you choose not to discuss it. You do not even have to tell him why.
This girl is going to want to split you and your room mate up. She wants you out of his life. Do not ever spend a second alone with her or she will say you tried to grope her naughty bits.
You do you and let him do him while you protect yourself from her. Or invite her to a threesome and get the ball rolling.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:03 pm to saint amant steve
Lol 19.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:06 pm to Hangit
quote:
Is this the same girl that asked to re-arrange his room while he was out of town, then showed up with the whole team and dug through all his stuff?
It sure is. My other roommate made that post.
Previous thread involving same roommate
This post was edited on 1/11/16 at 4:38 pm
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:07 pm to saint amant steve
quote:
"Everything in life has a purpose. Relationships are no different. For most guys, dating is just an outlet for busting a nut unless you plan on getting married."
well, sure....
quote:
I get a little pissed and say, "Well, I don't know what the 'purpose' of our relationship is, but it's more than just getting my dick wet
well, after 2 years its probably good to take stock of what kind of intention/purpose/goals you have with this. isnt this exactly the kind of thing you were looking for when seeking opinions from a 3rd party about your long term relationship?
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:10 pm to Havoc
quote:
His response shows a good level of parroting what the chick is telling him because he wants pussy.
FIFY
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:20 pm to PearlJam
quote:
You say the purpose of your relationship is something more than just getting your dick wet, but you didn't say what that purpose or those purposes were. Is his question bothering you because you don't know how to answer that question? Or is it just because you feel he is being judgmental of your relationship because he believes his relationship has a higher purpose?
Honestly, it's a little bit of both. I feel like is being judgmental to some extent, but I'm also at a point where I am struggling to determine if I want to continue on with the relationship.
I think companionship is the biggest purpose of my relationship thus far, as well as supporting one another.
However, I think deep down I just need some sort of change right now because I almost feel like things are growing stale. What sucks is that there is nothing inherently wrong with our relationship, and I can't pinpoint any particular reason to end things other than my own doubts.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:25 pm to t1gerst1gerst1gers
quote:
Are you trying to say some 19 year old has lived a wild and crazy life, one of booze, drugs and debauchery?
I don't have any issue with what he's done (although it was much more colorful than my earlier years), and I'm not saying that I'm surprised by his past behavior.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:26 pm to its1999
quote:
Assuming you are about 19 as well
Nope. Mid-20s.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:26 pm to saint amant steve
Link to the former thread so that the OT can catch up on this story, please.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:32 pm to its1999
quote:
The point of your relationship now shouldn't be to find a lifelong marriage partner. Too young. Instead, it's to gain knowledge of what you do and do not like in a future spouse. It's to broaden your life experiences so that 20 years from now you won't wonder "what if?" And it gives you a baseline life experience so you match up with a future spouse correctly.
Bravo, Sir. This has been my mindset the entire time. Thank goodness someone views dating in such a similar manner.
quote:
Hence why this dude's relationship will fail. 1. Too serious too soon, sounds like.
According to him, it's only a matter of time before they marry. He talks about their future together as a certainty. I would expect such behavior from a 17-year-old high school girl, but not some guy in his third year of college.
quote:
2. If they marry, she'll wake up wondering what if.
This always seems like the biggest issue with relationships involving virgins or individuals who have only had one romantic partner.
quote:
3. Disparate life experiences like that don't bode well.
Exactly. In my opinion, this is as much of a ticking time bomb as anything.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:35 pm to saint amant steve
So it sounds like his question about the purpose of your relationship struck a nerve because there is some truth to a lack of intention in your current relationship. However, since you aren't on the same page with him as religion goes, his stated purpose of seeking to glorify God in his relationship doesn't really offer you much as a solution or advice for your own relationship issue. Is that about right?
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:35 pm to dcrews
quote:
I'd bet good money that you're right.
Been there. You go hard with your new found beliefs, then just burn yourself out very quickly.
I equate it to being pumped to run a race, and full out sprinting from the get go.
True. It takes a very particular sort of mindset and mental discipline to just completely overhaul your life like that.
This may not be the most appropriate juxtaposition, but I liken it to most individuals who take up a diet. Most of them are gung-ho about it in the beginning but eventually give into temptation or simply become apathetic about the matter.
Posted on 1/11/16 at 4:38 pm to Hangit
quote:
If so, he is a lunatic because he saves his old condoms and you cleaned them up before the search party started
Nah, my other roommate was just fricking with y'all.
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