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Posted on 4/27/24 at 6:51 am to fareplay
We brought my MIL in a year and a half ago. She lived in Athens Ga. Found out she had stage 4 terminal cancer. My wife and I, without even thinking about it, brought in. My kids are gone, so that helped. We remodeled a bedroom like she wanted. She was very comfortable and spoiled. Her and I were very close. It was very hard towards the end. My wife and I were there to see her rest peacefully and depart this world about three weeks ago. I feel we did the right thing!
Posted on 4/27/24 at 7:03 am to fareplay
I lost both my parents in a boating accident years ago.
Posted on 4/27/24 at 7:36 am to fareplay
My FIL spent his last years with us. We purchased a house with a big (1500 sq ft) in-law suite attached with a kitchen and handicapped access shower.
Posted on 4/27/24 at 7:40 am to VABuckeye
Moved my FIL in after cancer diagnosis. We're NEOhio, he was by himself at Port Charlotte Fl. We went and got'em. Figured out the house arraignments.
It is family. You do what you got to do.
It is family. You do what you got to do.
Posted on 4/27/24 at 7:42 am to fareplay
If it results in you starting less threads I say go for it
Posted on 4/27/24 at 7:46 am to ScottFowler
I'd probably refuse to move in with my kids. But they know and I know I wouldn't interfere whatsoever in their daily lives if I did. It would be a situational thing, if there was a separate living space, like a garage apartment, then yeah. If it was to where they would have to see me everyday and night, nope. If I couldn't take care of myself then it'd definitely be a assisted living place or nursing home.
But it would take a lot to get me out of my house.
But it would take a lot to get me out of my house.
This post was edited on 4/27/24 at 7:48 am
Posted on 4/27/24 at 8:20 am to Sao
quote:I have already cared for my mom after surgeries/illnesses. I am the main person she turns to if she needs help. My kids will not be paying my bills. I will provide for my own retirement. The OP sounds like it’s a money situation. Nothing was said about failing physical health. I will not be a financial burden on my children.
Dang. I hope you have siblings.
Posted on 4/27/24 at 8:32 am to fareplay
We have some good friends that did this and it was a disaster. His mom and dad declined physically and mentally and there were constant fights, ambulance being called in the middle of the night, accusations of stealing and other silliness and when they were beyond being cared for refused to leave to a facility. They almost got divorced over it.
We had our basement remodeled to be a live in apt just in case and that turned out to be a waste of money. My FIL when he was in his final decline refused to live there but had no problem with treating my wife like his 24/7 care provider at his place and treated her like shite in the process.
Everyone’s parents are different but I’d say don’t do it.
We had our basement remodeled to be a live in apt just in case and that turned out to be a waste of money. My FIL when he was in his final decline refused to live there but had no problem with treating my wife like his 24/7 care provider at his place and treated her like shite in the process.
Everyone’s parents are different but I’d say don’t do it.
This post was edited on 4/27/24 at 8:34 am
Posted on 4/27/24 at 8:50 am to fareplay
I'm terrified of the day my wife asks me if her mom can move in with us.
Her mom is a narcissistic, know it all, who makes terrible decisions financially and just generally. She's in her 70's and still working b/c she has to. She makes decent money, but squanders it on stupid shite. At that age, you don't need more things imo, especially if you are still working b/c you have no retirement.
One day though, she'll be too frail to work and I know my wife, as the oldest and most responsible sibling, will want her to move in. If I object, I'm a monster in her siblings eyes.
My mom, i would take in 100% no questions asked. She's a nice woman who doesn't like to put anyone out. She wouldn't be a pain in the arse.
Her mom is a narcissistic, know it all, who makes terrible decisions financially and just generally. She's in her 70's and still working b/c she has to. She makes decent money, but squanders it on stupid shite. At that age, you don't need more things imo, especially if you are still working b/c you have no retirement.
One day though, she'll be too frail to work and I know my wife, as the oldest and most responsible sibling, will want her to move in. If I object, I'm a monster in her siblings eyes.
My mom, i would take in 100% no questions asked. She's a nice woman who doesn't like to put anyone out. She wouldn't be a pain in the arse.
Posted on 4/27/24 at 9:09 am to Rza32
I moved home five years ago. Mom could never have lived in my home with her now ex daughter in law.
Posted on 4/27/24 at 9:10 am to Loup
My InLaws are Italian. It’s a traditional thing with their family to have the old folks live out their lives with the younger ones. It works for them. 
Posted on 4/27/24 at 10:03 am to fareplay
We would have to strap Mama in a chair and move her in a Beverly Hillbillies fashion to get her to leave her home.
My brother and I have vowed she will never live in a nursing home so in her super old age, we will take turns in staying with her a couple of weeks at a time.
Currently she's able live by herself but that day is rapidly coming to an end.
I am retired and my brother will soon be.
My brother and I have vowed she will never live in a nursing home so in her super old age, we will take turns in staying with her a couple of weeks at a time.
Currently she's able live by herself but that day is rapidly coming to an end.
I am retired and my brother will soon be.
This post was edited on 4/27/24 at 10:05 am
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