re: Say you were to "give up" and go with debt consolidation?

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He still has a car payment,

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One. The other car is payed off. the Ford we have has less than a year left. If we were to try and sell that POS I truly believe we'd be in worse shape. I understand if a I had matching Land Rovers that we were paying $1900 on, it's and issue. But the fixation on the car is not MY issue. My issue is overspending. And on useless things. Example, today I am off. I should have had a nice lunch with 2 beers. Probably $28 right there. I stayed home and had a turkey sammich.

The wife and I are having the "come to Jesus meeting" tonight. I may be on here asking for divorce advice.

Not really, we are equally culpable. But after the meeting I will have the numbers and post them. Take home pay that is "ours" to spend and put toward debt.

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working a 2nd job or extra hours.

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Check. Got one. Time to buckle down and pick up more shifts. I am really actually making more money than I ever have with recent raises etc. It is purely entertainment overspending. Really going to look tonight. time for Miller Lite in the backyard instead of Craft brews at pubs.

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and most importantly cutting spending. None of that the OP has done that he has said.

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Have done none of it. we stayed on "plan" for about 2-3 months. Then veered off. That was a year ago. we didn't really make things worse. Just made absolutely NOTHING better.

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I have not paid a penny of credit card interest in over 20 years

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I am at about 26.

Let's see if we can help these young fellas out with some solid. "old man" advice.

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Not really, we are equally culpable. But after the meeting I will have the numbers and post them. Take home pay that is "ours" to spend and put toward debt.

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Good for you, recognizing it as an "us" problem, not a "her" problem. One suggestion: don't make it all about what you CAN'T do anymore....make a list of all the low/no-cost things you both enjoy, and recommit to doing them together.

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time for Miller Lite in the backyard instead of Craft brews at pubs.

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Or quit drinking for a few months. It's a financial recovery plan and a diet plan all in one. LOL. Or drink less beer (craft or otherwise) in the backyard w/friends. It is way way cheaper to cook simple things & invite ppl over than to all meet up at a pub/restaurant. Start a new trend of staying in, step up and be the host. You don't have to break the bank...take the $40 you would have spent on your weekly happy hour & feed your friends instead.

Buying things as entertainment is a common enough trap. Find more interesting ways to spend your time & you won't be so tempted to shop as a replacement for living your life. There are no stores on a hiking trail, no ways to spend money while perch fishing w/a cane pole, no costs involved w/riding your bike on the levee. Go outside and live....

Are there any type of financial advisors who deal with this? Or are they all retirement guys?

I can watch YouTube til I am blue in the face, still would like to talk to a guy in person.

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Are there any type of financial advisors who deal with this? Or are they all retirement guys?

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Your best bet is trying to find s class like Dave Ramsey or someone similar, they are usually at a Church. You'll be able to share and hear similar stories, plus find other people that want to be social but not spend any money.

I wasn't trying to be a jerk about you not doing everything, but it took myself and my wife literally going all in to stop being in debt. It really doesn't sound like you've made a budget, you need to do that. Then give yourself money to spend on things you enjoy. You are probably spending $400 or more on eating out, cut that to $80 or less and eat
Out once a month with your wife.

Budgeting is not cutting out everything you enjoy, it's planning on spending X amount and nothing more on the things you enjoy but don't need.

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43 years old with $68 dollars in a checking account. Like I am 18 damned years old.

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Rock bottom means you can only go up. Are both of you paid by direct deposit? If so, you can have your check deposited to multiple accounts. This is a great tool to help you budget: both of you decide how much you're contributing from each paycheck toward debt reduction...then have that amount direct deposited into a no-fee checking account. Use the funds collected in that account ONLY for debt reduction. Since the money never posts to your "regular" checking, you have less opportunity to fritter it away.

I once paid off a small student loan by liquidating a bunch of gold jewelry I never wore anymore. The 14K broken chains, earring backs, ugly charms, etc yielded a tidy profit; I certainly didn't miss any of it. You probably have pockets of "free money" hiding in various places--sell off the stuff you don't use. Craigslist, eBay, etc.

Going after 3 small ones next. Amazon first then PayPal.

After that I am taking care of a "consolidation" loan that my wife did. She knocked out 3 cards, but the loans interest is ridiculous.

After that I don't know where to go next. I am looking to revolve some debt onto other cards, but the days of 0 APR AND 0 for balance transfers are gone. Perhaps that changes with the economy after Brexit, but not something to count on.

Revolving the debt at a 3% fee? Is that better or worse than dealing with the fees charged by a debt consolidation company? I am genuinely asking.

I think part of our problem is we have been plugging away like good citizens and paying. Seems you have to default or get sued to get any relief?

I would just love a loan for the whole amount and pay it and take my medicine. It would be equivalent to a nice car that I never get to drive, but I will be out in 4-5 years.

Again though wishing in one hand and shitting in the other....

Here's what the wife and I do to decrease out meal costs. We cook various meals in large portions and freeze them into nightly portions. Just this weekend, we cooked chili with deer meat and some chicken gumbo. We got 5 containers of chili and 8 containers of gumbo out of this all for $65 in ingredients...$5 per meal that will feed me, my wife, and two kids ages 7 and 5!! We do this so often, we purchased a standup freezer a few years ago just to store these meals.

My word of advice is this,,,you both have to be on the same page and both of you have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. Fed up with it. Angry with it. And understand that sacrificing now will lead to a stronger, better life in a year or two. It sounds like you're at this point. Hopefully your wife is.

After reading this thread, I feel a lot better about slipping on my budget sometimes. I'm not as good as I could be, but I have 600 credit card debt, car is almost paid off, and only 4k in student loan debt.

I agree with the people saying to have money automatically taken out of your account. I do that with my housing, emergency, and IRA.

Completely debt free with a 3 month emergency fund before 30 is the goal.