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For the posters "of a certain age", how have you found a balance in your life?

Posted on 5/3/15 at 1:56 pm
Posted by Jag_Warrior
Virginia
Member since May 2015
4081 posts
Posted on 5/3/15 at 1:56 pm
Firstly, I've been lurking here for about six months. And I have to say, this is without question one of the very best financial boards I have ever been on.

One thing I have been wondering, which prompted me to finally register, is how or when (or if) you found work/life balance?

Most of my adult life (now 50 years young) has been devoted to the pursuit of making money and building my net worth. But a funny thing happened on the way to the Forum... once I began seeking a better balance in my life, the money began to come to me even easier, with less effort and stress.

So whether it was starting a family, finding religion or spiritual redemption, devoting time to charity work, etc., has anyone else here found that once you began to seek some sort of balance in your life, the financial part came much easier?

Fantastic board, guys. Any replies or stories that you care to share will be greatly appreciated.
Posted by TheHiddenFlask
The Welsh red light district
Member since Jul 2008
18384 posts
Posted on 5/3/15 at 2:09 pm to
I don't know if this is you, but my balance came from promotions that were due to the hard work I put in (complete lack of balance). Not saying this true for everyone or for you, but usually having a better paying job means your company has more incentive to ensure that you don't burn out.

On the other hand, I don't have to pay people to do everything in my life any more now that I have the time to do it myself. So that helps.
Posted by Jag_Warrior
Virginia
Member since May 2015
4081 posts
Posted on 5/3/15 at 2:26 pm to
Thanks, HiddenFlask.

My experiences have been a bit different. I was in banking and real estate in the go-go 80's. For a young man who had his mind on his money and money on his mind, that was an AMAZING time! I had my own business(es) and I worked for a mortgage bank, after I sold my mortgage brokerage. The only reason anyone at the bank would have been sorry to see me sitting in my office, with a pistol in my mouth, would have been because I might have gotten blood & brains on the loan apps that they would have wanted to take for themselves.

After leaving banking and moving into manufacturing many moons ago, it's still been a long journey for me to find a sane work/life balance. I'm not nearly as obsessed with money as I used to be... and somehow I now make more of it, and with greater ease. I guess trying too hard doesn't work with making money... or sex (so I hear).
This post was edited on 5/3/15 at 2:27 pm
Posted by tigerbacon
Arkansas
Member since Aug 2010
3694 posts
Posted on 5/3/15 at 2:40 pm to
As you grow older you become more responsible need less things thus have more money. How many tv's you need? A car is something you can drive for ten year or more but only pay for 4-5 years on average. Thus you invest more and have more money
Posted by kaaj24
Dallas
Member since Jan 2010
602 posts
Posted on 5/3/15 at 3:19 pm to
For me it's been finding hobbies and interests outside of work that allow me to balance and making sure that those items are a priority.

I don't put in the hours I used to as I realized that people take you for granted when you do, come to expect it and your raise in corporate America isn't that much better than those who just do the minimum. I still perform but not at the consistent above and beyond pace.

It's unusual but caring too much about your work and job can actually be a negative. Took me a good 15 years to figure that out. Not as smart as I thought I was apparently.
Posted by MrSweets
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2015
57 posts
Posted on 5/3/15 at 3:30 pm to
I'm 30, semi-retired, and work 25 hrs a week. The remaining time I have, I picked up gardening and improving my cooking skills. I also take naps in the afternoon.
Posted by hungryone
river parishes
Member since Sep 2010
11987 posts
Posted on 5/3/15 at 4:07 pm to
Haven't had a FT job in the past 15 years. Found a great paying PT w benefits; three day weekends every week are worth way way more than the extra cash I'd have each year. Time is important; enough money is good, but more money does not make your life exponentially better. Experiences count more than things--I echo what the prev poster said about TVs. How many do you actually need? Ditto for shoes, cars, watches, etc.

Time to travel, read, cook, learn something new, volunteer for a worthy cause, see friends and family: I need all those way more than a gas guzzling luxury SUV, 60" TV, or jewelry, or a built in outdoor kitchen.
Posted by MrSweets
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2015
57 posts
Posted on 5/3/15 at 4:57 pm to
Don't forget to excercise. I take an hour walk 5x a week. Makes a big difference.
Posted by wfallstiger
Wichita Falls, Texas
Member since Jun 2006
11348 posts
Posted on 5/3/15 at 5:07 pm to
I spent 35 years toiling and retired at 57 and have been able to do the things I truly love and to get paid to do them but am not dependent upon them if they went away tomorrow. Am far from wealthy, am fairly mindful and still earn what I earn. Spend time with the people I adore and have learned not to regret those missed opportunities with them...can't put the toothpaste back in the tube but I quit squeezing it.

I am a pastor, chaplain and use my health care years of toiling directing a program for the elderly. Have a beautiful wife, 3 children and 6 grands.

I stay busy but pretty much move at my own pace and have truly wonderful peoples in my life that make it joyous

Hope some of this makes sense/help
Posted by I Love Bama
Alabama
Member since Nov 2007
37694 posts
Posted on 5/3/15 at 6:38 pm to
Do you mind elaborating on how you retired at 30?
Posted by MrSweets
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2015
57 posts
Posted on 5/4/15 at 3:34 am to
I didn't say "retired". I said "semi retired".

I wasn't born with a silver spoon. It was just hard work and planning, but mostly planning. After college, I worked as a corporate accountant. During my years of working, I estimated that I was averaging 50K a year. Not glamorous and definately not enough to "retire". But what I did when I was not working is to learn and develop a new skill that allow me start my own business (prefer not to go into details). When I saved enough to pay of the student loan, I started saving for real estate investing. So work, saved 50K, buy a multiunit property. Rinse, cycle, repeat 3x.

I quit my corporate job early last year and decided to focus on my business and rentals full time. Rentals have given me (on a monthly basis) some cash flow, gaining equity, and a place to stay for free. But I'll be reaping the fruits of my labor when they are paid of in 7-8 years. In the meantime, I'm clearing what an average engineer makes but only working 100 hrs/month. And it sounds cheesy, but when you are doing something you love, it doesn't feel like working.

I could've stayed at my corporate position, get my CPA, climb the ladder, and have a great salary. But I don't want to be putting in 60 hours a week, managing stress, and play office politics(a waste of human potentials) in doing so.

This thread was about balance and here's my opinion on balance. In life, each of us is given a fixed amount of time. So this time is important. However, in order to spend this time in the manner we want, we need money. So money is also important. But you don't want money as the end goal. You want money as a mean to live a quality, meaningful life. I often see people trying to make as much money as possible like they are playing a game and trying to win it. But at what cost are they paying for this? Health, family, loss of time, doing something they don't like?

To me, having the right amount of time and money = freedom. And freedom is what people should try to strive for because you can't be happy without it.
Posted by DaBeerz
Member since Sep 2004
16898 posts
Posted on 5/4/15 at 4:46 am to
quote:

But what I did when I was not working is to learn and develop a new skill that allow me start my own business (prefer not to go into details)


Drugs are bad
Posted by kywildcatfanone
Wildcat Country!
Member since Oct 2012
118922 posts
Posted on 5/4/15 at 5:19 am to
quote:

I spent 35 years toiling and retired at 57 and have been able to do the things I truly love and to get paid to do them but am not dependent upon them if they went away tomorrow. Am far from wealthy, am fairly mindful and still earn what I earn. Spend time with the people I adore and have learned not to regret those missed opportunities with them...can't put the toothpaste back in the tube but I quit squeezing it.

I am a pastor, chaplain and use my health care years of toiling directing a program for the elderly. Have a beautiful wife, 3 children and 6 grands.

I stay busy but pretty much move at my own pace and have truly wonderful peoples in my life that make it joyous

Hope some of this makes sense/help


It makes perfect sense to me, and is the gameplan I'm working on as well. My wife is retiring in 18 days after 29 years of teaching elementary school. I have about 5 more years to work, then I'm doing the same, at which time I will use my time to help others in whatever ways God puts in front of me.
I "should" have enough money to live comfortable, and hope to spend my remaining years giving back. That's my hope anyway, will see how it plays out.
Posted by Iowa Golfer
Heaven
Member since Dec 2013
10229 posts
Posted on 5/4/15 at 6:59 am to
"This thread was about balance and here's my opinion on balance. In life, each of us is given a fixed amount of time. So this time is important. However, in order to spend this time in the manner we want, we need money. So money is also important. But you don't want money as the end goal. You want money as a mean to live a quality, meaningful life. I often see people trying to make as much money as possible like they are playing a game and trying to win it. But at what cost are they paying for this? Health, family, loss of time, doing something they don't like?

To me, having the right amount of time and money = freedom. And freedom is what people should try to strive for because you can't be happy without it."

The road less traveled. Do the right thing and money follows. At a certain point, it is the easier, softer way.

Congratulations to you. You are a winner in my estimation, and it has less to do with money, and more to do with the way you think.
Posted by Vandyrone
Nashville, TN
Member since Dec 2012
6953 posts
Posted on 5/4/15 at 7:55 am to
quote:

In life, each of us is given a fixed amount of time. So this time is important. However, in order to spend this time in the manner we want, we need money. So money is also important. But you don't want money as the end goal. You want money as a mean to live a quality, meaningful life. I often see people trying to make as much money as possible like they are playing a game and trying to win it. But at what cost are they paying for this? Health, family, loss of time, doing something they don't like?

To me, having the right amount of time and money = freedom. And freedom is what people should try to strive for because you can't be happy without it.


Perfectly stated.
Posted by Dooshay
CEBA
Member since Jun 2011
29879 posts
Posted on 5/4/15 at 8:13 am to
Usually rely on this board for tips. My bitcoin became an investment
Posted by Hawkeye95
Member since Dec 2013
20293 posts
Posted on 5/4/15 at 9:55 am to
I find myself at a crossroads around this. I have a great job, but its a not a career and I really would prefer not to work.

But I make too much money, and have too many benefits to quit my job. I am roughly 5 years away from being able to do a 4% draw down and maintain the same lifestyle, so I have no choice but to continue. Or that is what I tell myself

I want to move to central america and open a coffee roaster / shop but that dream will still be possible in 5 years.
Posted by hungryone
river parishes
Member since Sep 2010
11987 posts
Posted on 5/4/15 at 10:11 am to
quote:

I want to move to central america and open a coffee roaster / shop but that dream will still be possible in 5 years.

Cool dream...so in the next four years, what are you doing to make it a reality? Part time/weekend job (or volunteer) at a local roaster, travel to the region to determine where you eventually want to live, researching the business climate & regulations of the new location, researching/writing a business plan for this venture, etc.

Four years can pass in the blink of an eye--you can do plenty of dream-related stuff between now and your 4% drawdown.
Posted by VABuckeye
Naples, FL
Member since Dec 2007
35479 posts
Posted on 5/4/15 at 10:18 am to
quote:

As you grow older you become more responsible need less things thus have more money. How many tv's you need? A car is something you can drive for ten year or more but only pay for 4-5 years on average. Thus you invest more and have more money


Not necessarily. Kids in college cost a ton and that happens later in life. So do your children's wddings. With my experience and connections my income went through the roof and is still rising. It's easier to have balance when you have a lot more money. Our thing is traveling and Ohio State football. I don't shortchange on either but we still sock a lot away. We've become very happy with our lives over the years.

You can do what makes you happy in the present and still plan for the future. Also, as another poster said making money becomes easy.
Posted by Hawkeye95
Member since Dec 2013
20293 posts
Posted on 5/4/15 at 10:20 am to
quote:

so in the next four years, what are you doing to make it a reality? Part time/weekend job (or volunteer) at a local roaster, travel to the region to determine where you eventually want to live, researching the business climate & regulations of the new location, researching/writing a business plan for this venture, etc.

we just made a visit to the region, although after visitng we realized that our ideal site was not on our itenary. We checked out a few local coffee shops to see how they worked, and investigated local business operation rules (its a pain!).

We also have an inside guy in one gov't that is a relative of a good friend that would likely help. We also have several side businesses to attach to the coffee shop.
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