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Started By
Message
Posted on 9/15/14 at 2:56 pm to Paige
quote:
And my son wasn't bullied physically. It was verbally.
kids don't tell their parents everything.
My dad didn't know i had a bully, and didn't know i got in a fight with him in 1st grade.
quote:
Why is fighting the answer for children but adults who fight are trashy? There will always be assholes and people who don't like you
When kids fight, they get a busted lip and scratches. Adults fight, people can die. I'm capable of killing someone with one punch. 6 year olds are barely strong enough to give black eyes. I was probably in 10 fights as a kid before i was 12. Not one fight after 12.
quote:
And the bullying stopped once the school suspended the kid. So yes the school can take care of the issue
I would imagine once he got suspended, his parents found out for the first time what he was doing and were the reason he stopped, not the school.
quote:
I am quite sure my son told that little jerk to shut up. But sometimes that doesn't work and you have to go up the food chain
top of the food chain is fighting for little boys. It's a part of life. I don't know any guy that didnt' get in a fight as a little boy. If somehow they didn't, they must of played inside by themselves growing up.
Posted on 9/15/14 at 3:04 pm to Paige
quote:
What did I say that didn't agree with your post?
You kept saying he needs to go to the principal (again). The principal already knows of the situation. I'd be curious as to what they are doing to "handle the situation". I'd almost put money on the fact that they just wanted to get spaceman off the phone and told him what was necessary to do so.
I'm not saying my way is perfect and everyone is free to do what they want. But I think this system of turning the other cheek and running to the teacher/principal every time is making our sons pussies. Well, not mine because they were taught to defend themselves. But you know what I mean.
Posted on 9/15/14 at 3:12 pm to TeddyPadillac
quote:ok well as I said, I wouldn't condone escalating a verbal altercation to a physical one. And he only told me about the kid talking shite to him. So I don't see your point
kids don't tell their parents everything. My dad didn't know i had a bully, and didn't know i got in a fight with him in 1st grade.
quote:didn't realize I was talking to such a badass. I had no idea you had to stop fighting once you get too strong. I thought maybe it had something to do with growing up and learning more mature ways of dealing with problems
When kids fight, they get a busted lip and scratches. Adults fight, people can die. I'm capable of killing someone with one punch. 6 year olds are barely strong enough to give black eyes. I was probably in 10 fights as a kid before i was 12. Not one fight after 12.
quote:and the parents found out why? Because I told the school and they suspended him. So me telling the school did work
I would imagine once he got suspended, his parents found out for the first time what he was doing and were the reason he stopped, not the school.
quote:no, adults are higher up the food chain
top of the food chain is fighting for little boys. It's a part of life. I don't know any guy that didnt' get in a fight as a little boy. If somehow they didn't, they must of played inside by themselves growing up.
Your post was really pointless and irrelevant
Posted on 9/15/14 at 3:13 pm to Spaceman Spiff
quote:So I'm late to this thread, but after reading the OP it sounds like you're calling your son a pussy.
Spaceman Spiff
Posted on 9/15/14 at 3:21 pm to FT
quote:
So I'm late to this thread, but after reading the OP it sounds like you're calling your son a pussy.
You got it.
Posted on 9/15/14 at 3:33 pm to Paige
quote:
idn't realize I was talking to such a badass. I had no idea you had to stop fighting once you get too strong.
Most adults are physically strong enough to kill another adult. it's sort of how nature works. a normal 6' 170lb+ male has the strength to kill people. It's not called being a bad arse, it's called being a man that doesn't have a vagina.
You stop fighting when you learn more mature ways to deal with problems, like you said. Kids get in fights b/c that's what kids do, and they can't really hurt each other, which is why most dads don't care that their kid gets in a fight, when it's a legit reason.
quote:
and the parents found out why? Because I told the school and they suspended him. So me telling the school did work
He told the school, it's not working.
I agree with you, nothing wrong with going to the school first. But that rarely does anything.
Also, what did they suspend the kid for? Did they suspend him b/c you said he was a bully? Is that all they went on?
My whole point is, your solution is to not fight ever. That's stupid. Little boys get in fights. A good dad teaches his son when it's ok to fight back. Notice i said "fight BACK".
I understand it hard for you to understand all of this. It's b/c your a woman. At no point in your life can you relate to growing up as a little boy. I won't have the slightest idea how to help my daughter out when she has problems with girly click crap. I can offer my best advice, but her mom's advice is much better than mine.
Posted on 9/15/14 at 3:37 pm to TeddyPadillac
quote:
I understand it hard for you to understand all of this. It's b/c your a woman.
Posted on 9/15/14 at 3:59 pm to lsufanintexas
quote:apparently you should've put a little more effort into their education than into defending themselves.
I have taught my kids to defend themselve and to never let anyone hurt them physically. They also know that its my problem to deal with if they get in trouble for defending themselves.
Posted on 9/15/14 at 4:03 pm to Tigah in the ATL
Find out where the bully lives, and teach your kid some skills....
Posted on 9/15/14 at 4:14 pm to TeddyPadillac
quote:
TeddyPadillac
People don't understand that bullying today isn't the same as it used to be before social media when most of us were kids.
Physical bullying is about the same and should be dealt with. I'm all for teaching your kid to defend himself, but I'd have him be smart about it. Like I said earlier, teach your kid how to remove the threat but not to do something that will draw blood or leave a mark. Kick him in the nuts, knock the wind out of him, use pressure points, submission grapples, etc.
Verbal bullying is infinitesimally worse than what it was before social media. Most of the kids that are committing suicide seem to be the ones that are verbally abused, not beaten up constantly, though that may also happen sometimes.If your child is seen as "weird", he/she can be harassed constantly inside and outside of school. It's a lot of a child to handle mentally, and I pray to God that I never have to go through this with my kids, because I don't know the best way to address it. Fighting won't necessarily solve the problem. I imagine that you have to teach your kid to be as tough as nails mentally and to be able to overcome the abuse.
Posted on 9/15/14 at 4:39 pm to Spaceman Spiff
quote:
Today I did, after calling for a second time. Was assured that the problem is being taken care of and wouldn't happen again.
Good deal, then.
In hindsight, if your son doesn't want to fight then he shouldn't have to, and really, I think the root problem here is that the school just needs to enforce what it already knows it should.
There are a lot of projected feelings from OT hardasses going into this thread, and while I don't think little boys fighting should be a big deal, I also don't think little boys not fighting should be a big deal either. I think tigerfoot hit the nail on the head with all that.
But regardless of the whole physical confrontation side issue, I do think it's important to teach your kids that they have to stand up for themselves and assert their own rights.
As one poster said, yes, you should teach your kids to work within the system and understand the reality of authority and how the world works. On the other hand, these posts of yours kind of made me feel uneasy:
quote:
And he was adamant about the rules. Guess I can't blame him for following the rules.
quote:
I agree. My son tells me that his teacher drills that kind of stuff into them all the time - talking about what they can/can't do, how they will get into trouble. I think that's part of it, he knows better than to get in trouble at school because of getting in trouble at home, too. Maybe that's why he is so adamant about not knocking the kid's block off.
The reality of schools today is that they will protect your kid if he asserts himself enough, and there is likely no need for physical confrontation. But he should never take the attitude of "I am afraid to stand up for myself and cause waves because I might get in trouble." frick all that.
I mean, he's only 5 and none of this stuff is going to register with him right now anyway, so at the moment it's your responsibility to look out for him and resolve this issue, but just the way you describe him.... keep an eye out for the little fella and make sure he learns to assert himself in life, and not accept being ignored by authority figures who are supposed to protect him.
Posted on 9/15/14 at 4:43 pm to TeddyPadillac
When did I say not to fight back ever? Again read. My post said that I didn't think he should force his five year old to fight
I think *you're the one having a hard time understanding
And you said you can kill a dude with one punch. That's pretty bad arse IMO. Chuck Norris doesn't even do that
How do you know going to the school rarely does anything? Have you dealt with this problem a lot lately? And I say lately because this whole anti bullying campaign is new. It wasn't around when I was in school or even when my son was in elementary
I think *you're the one having a hard time understanding
And you said you can kill a dude with one punch. That's pretty bad arse IMO. Chuck Norris doesn't even do that
How do you know going to the school rarely does anything? Have you dealt with this problem a lot lately? And I say lately because this whole anti bullying campaign is new. It wasn't around when I was in school or even when my son was in elementary
Posted on 9/15/14 at 4:49 pm to Doc Fenton
Thank you for coming back with a little bit more level headed post
If a kid doesn't want to fight they shouldn't be forced to. Maybe my son is a sissy. But that was a one time thing and he's never complained to me about anyone's treatment of him again
And a parent has told me about him taking up for another kid before. So he's not afraid to stand up to people. It's just never turned physical. And I'm ok with that
If a kid doesn't want to fight they shouldn't be forced to. Maybe my son is a sissy. But that was a one time thing and he's never complained to me about anyone's treatment of him again
And a parent has told me about him taking up for another kid before. So he's not afraid to stand up to people. It's just never turned physical. And I'm ok with that
Posted on 9/15/14 at 4:54 pm to Paige
Single mothers are in a rough spot with this. My dad used to tell me to avoid the fight but if it came down to it beat his arse. My mom was so anti fighting.
I got in a couple fights in middle school and got beat. Got in a couple in HS and got no decisions I suppose I never got in trouble with parents in HS.
I was new as a junior in HS and pretty built back in the day. I remember one kid was talking crap to me in the class and I stood up and said I'd come over this desk whoop your arse right now. Got 3 days suspension for threatening violence.
Still, even 11 years ago it was handled so much differently. Nobody ever got parents involved.
I got in a couple fights in middle school and got beat. Got in a couple in HS and got no decisions I suppose I never got in trouble with parents in HS.
I was new as a junior in HS and pretty built back in the day. I remember one kid was talking crap to me in the class and I stood up and said I'd come over this desk whoop your arse right now. Got 3 days suspension for threatening violence.
Still, even 11 years ago it was handled so much differently. Nobody ever got parents involved.
This post was edited on 9/15/14 at 4:55 pm
Posted on 9/15/14 at 4:58 pm to Paige
quote:
And you said you can kill a dude with one punch. That's pretty bad arse IMO.
Not really. This is the type of person he was implying killing with one punch:
Posted on 9/15/14 at 5:00 pm to Paige
I don't doubt that your son does a good job of that. I was just trying to steer people away from my own experiences where I grew up learning to follow the rules and always be a star performer, only to learn later that nobody was really looking out for me. Like I said, a lotta projection in this thread...
Posted on 9/15/14 at 5:22 pm to Doc Fenton
I think you're right
Sub well that's not so badass after all
Sub well that's not so badass after all
Posted on 9/15/14 at 5:25 pm to Doc Fenton
quote:
I mean, he's only 5 and none of this stuff is going to register with him right now anyway, so at the moment it's your responsibility to look out for him and resolve this issue, but just the way you describe him.... keep an eye out for the little fella and make sure he learns to assert himself in life, and not accept being ignored by authority figures who are supposed to protect him.
Great advice, Doc. And that is the issue. He is only five, and a young five at that since he has a late birthday - which means he is younger and smaller than most in the class. When I was young, my Dad taught me to defend myself - in fact, he always said to fight back if necessary and that I better be sure., or else...
But, my issue is that he is so young and as we all know, kids at this age don't fully reason before acting. I don't want him to go off without reason , know what I mean? It's as you said. I will do what I can, but I won't raise a wuss, either. Everything has a place and time. But yes, we have been doing a little extra on what to/not to do.
To the others who say I am calling my son out, GTFO.
This post was edited on 9/15/14 at 5:31 pm
Posted on 9/15/14 at 5:28 pm to Spaceman Spiff
Thank you
I guess a guy had to say it for it to make sense
I guess a guy had to say it for it to make sense
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