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re: Marrying a woman who has cheated before

Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:48 am to
Posted by Jake88
Member since Apr 2005
68262 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:48 am to
Simply not true. I cheated on girlfriends but have never cheated on my wife in over a decade of marriage.
Posted by meauxjeaux2
watson
Member since Oct 2007
60283 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:50 am to
quote:

In the onslaught of chemistry,
Earthly bonds are sorely tested,
Even iron wills oxidize and turn to rust.

nice
Posted by bamarep
Member since Nov 2013
51806 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:50 am to
Awesome to see some many people that have never made a mistake. I cheated on my first wife. It's the most shameful thing I've ever done and eventually cost me the thing that was most precious.....my family.

People change, especially when they have those kinds of life lessons and are humble enough to admit to themselves the hand they had in the events that took place.

Having said that, I've been blessed with another shot at what I screwed up and after seeing the consequences of a poor decision my wife now NEVER has to worry about my making that mistake again.

Posted by Tiger n Miami AU83
Miami
Member since Oct 2007
45656 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:51 am to
quote:

"Men are only as faithful as their options" Chris Rock Same can be said about women


Agree in general.
Posted by TexasTiger01
Lake Houston
Member since Nov 2013
3215 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:51 am to
quote:

marry a woman who cheated on her husband or boyfriend before?


If you have a big pecker...
Posted by Pettifogger
Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
Member since Feb 2012
79212 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:51 am to
quote:

So you believe that no one changes for the better? That the previous relationship was terrible and that a better relationship may cause different results?



It depends, if she/he was growing apart from a gf/bf and gradually grew closer to someone new, I don't think it necessarily means it'll happen again. It certainly can, but especially if the people are younger and unmarried, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker.

If the SO is cheating on you with multiple people at work, the bar, or having legit affairs where a relationship isn't developing, then sure, it'll happen again.

Posted by samson73103
Krypton
Member since Nov 2008
8143 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:51 am to
quote:

If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you


Once this is understood, there's really nothing else to discuss.
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
103077 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:53 am to
quote:

Martin Luther King jr


was a POS
Posted by TheCaterpillar
Member since Jan 2004
76774 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:53 am to
Wait I thought Shaq's wife cheated on him with her personal trainer? I have always been told that story.

Posted by The Third Leg
Idiot Out Wandering Around
Member since May 2014
10048 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:53 am to
quote:

no need to try to justify your trashiness. if you had the poor enough moral compas to cheat on someone you were committed to in your late teens/early 20s, you cannot say with 100% certainty that you will never cheat again.

This is outlandish on so many levels. Let's take the most mind-altering period of modern life, then leverage it as the predictor for future behavior.
Posted by LucasP
Member since Apr 2012
21618 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:54 am to
quote:

If you want to get cheated on and divorced and lose half your shite and become a distrustful, bitter person...go for it.





I know you're being sarcastic but seriously, it does toughen you up. I say go for it. She'll cheat on you, you'll catch her and you'll never have it happen to you again. Pretty soon you'll hate her and all women really. You'll never love again or experience any kind of happiness, and you'll always be suspicious of everyone. It just makes you a stronger person all around.
Posted by TheCaterpillar
Member since Jan 2004
76774 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:56 am to
quote:

no need to try to justify your trashiness. if you had the poor enough moral compas to cheat on someone you were committed to in your late teens/early 20s, you cannot say with 100% certainty that you will never cheat again.

well, you can say it, but i wont believe you.





Yeah I'm really trashy.

I was 20 and drunk 6 nights a week in college and dating a girl for 3 months that was fun to party with but with whom I shared no real emotional connection. It wasn't like we were naming our children and planning a life together.

You need to step off that high horse. Have you been cheated on before? Sounds like you're bitter about something.
Posted by TheCaterpillar
Member since Jan 2004
76774 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 11:56 am to
quote:

This is outlandish on so many levels. Let's take the most mind-altering period of modern life, then leverage it as the predictor for future behavior.



Thank you
Posted by Alatgr
Mobeezy, Alabizzle
Member since Sep 2005
17660 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 12:03 pm to
quote:

Furthermore, from my observations, most women start looking for a new SO/BF long before they end the relationship.


Truth. Women don't do anything without a plan. Just like those commie bastards in "The Hunt for Red October."
Posted by BoardReader
Arkansas
Member since Dec 2007
6930 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 12:04 pm to
Could it possibly work out? Sure. People can and do change, when all other options are exhausted, sometimes.

Still, you don't bet on a 3 legged horse to win a lot of races. Good luck on finding a unicorn.

Posted by saintkenn
Saintkenn
Member since Nov 2012
817 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 12:06 pm to
I'm going through a divorce now because of this. My mistake is I married an addict. The same applies with a cheater, one you're one, you're always one. I'm having to get completely away from her because I have a young daughter to protect. She's been running around telling lies, saying I cheated on her and that's why we're getting divorced, meanwhile, she's stolen pills from her father and at least 3 coworkers. Stay away from the poison people, they'll always be that and never truly change
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 12:08 pm to
quote:

I'm going through a divorce now because of this. My mistake is I married an addict. The same applies with a cheater, one you're one, you're always one. I'm having to get completely away from her because I have a young daughter to protect. She's been running around telling lies, saying I cheated on her and that's why we're getting divorced, meanwhile, she's stolen pills from her father and at least 3 coworkers. Stay away from the poison people, they'll always be that and never truly change


I didn't know my ex was remarried
Posted by stlslick
St.Louis,Mo
Member since Nov 2012
14054 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 12:08 pm to
pre-nup
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
32711 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 12:09 pm to
quote:

Have you been cheated on before?


i have. it sucks. i could never do that to a person i cared even the slightest amount about.

i really have no respect for cheaters and, to the topic, would never again date one, let alone marry one.
Posted by Beau Tie
Member since Oct 2012
951 posts
Posted on 8/27/14 at 12:09 pm to
What steps have you taken to ensure this?
How have you convinced her you won't cheat?

I'd have to have GPS and tracking of her phone to feel secure and I wouldn't want to do that. Still no trust but at least the ability to check I guess.
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