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Posted on 4/7/14 at 1:33 pm to Clyde Tipton
He was so tough he'd fight a circle saw
Posted on 4/7/14 at 1:51 pm to TigerNutts
I'm not saying she's a slut, but she knows a dick ain't square.
Posted on 4/7/14 at 1:51 pm to notslim99
Always thought "the football bat" was hilarious.
One of my very country cousins....."son, 'at gal had pussy comin' outta bofe drawer legs".
One of my very country cousins....."son, 'at gal had pussy comin' outta bofe drawer legs".
Posted on 4/7/14 at 1:57 pm to notslim99
I don't like cocaine; I just like the smell of it.
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:02 pm to loopback
"Having sex at 90 is like playing pool with a wet noodle".
George burns
George burns
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:02 pm to jizzle6609
quote:
One friend referencing another's videotaping skills; "That looked like Michael J. Fox videotaped an earthquake".
Best one IMO
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:03 pm to kmcmah1
"Do you think he's gay?"
Yes, he's as queer as a blue fire.truck"
Yes, he's as queer as a blue fire.truck"
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:05 pm to notslim99
...you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe.
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:07 pm to brgfather129
She can suck start a Harley.
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:08 pm to brgfather129
quote:
...you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe.
I'm guessing right about now you couldn't find a Dixie coonskin with an Ohio hooker holding your prick and showing you the way.
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:09 pm to upgrayedd
He's tougher than a $2 steak.
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:11 pm to KingBarkus
face like a catchers mitt.
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:12 pm to notslim99
"Why do they put a guarantee on the box?"
"Because they know all they sold you was a guaranteed piece of shite."
"Because they know all they sold you was a guaranteed piece of shite."
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:14 pm to notslim99
Coach in high school told a defensive lineman after a game that he got pushed so far back he had to pay to get back in.
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:41 pm to notslim99
Got some great ones from my drill sgt in basic:
"Private, you are fricked up like a soup sandwich"
"Tell your girlfriends to keep their AIDS infested soup coolers off my mail" (the girlfriends would kiss the back of the mail and leave lip prints)
And my personal favorite:
"WTF are you doing? Go smoke yourself private" - the term getting smoked was when the drill sgt would make us do exercise non-stop for a lenghty period of time.
"Private, you are fricked up like a soup sandwich"
"Tell your girlfriends to keep their AIDS infested soup coolers off my mail" (the girlfriends would kiss the back of the mail and leave lip prints)
And my personal favorite:
"WTF are you doing? Go smoke yourself private" - the term getting smoked was when the drill sgt would make us do exercise non-stop for a lenghty period of time.
Posted on 4/7/14 at 2:54 pm to joeytiger
A weatherman is like a fart, you can never trust them.
Posted on 4/7/14 at 3:38 pm to dcrews
quote:
"I would drag my ball sack across three football fields of barbed wire to eat Nerds outta her arse hole"
I've always said it as "I would drag my nuts through a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart through a walki-talkie."
Similar: I'd drink her bath water
I'd eat the corn out of her poop.
I'd suck a fart out her arse and hold it in like a bong hit.
He's got hands like feet- talking about players who can't catch in sports.
About as useful as nutrition facts on a bottle of whiskey
Posted on 4/7/14 at 3:40 pm to Tiger Ryno
quote:
face like a catchers mitt.
I've always liked saying someone has a radio face or a face made for radio.
Posted on 4/7/14 at 3:47 pm to WITNESS23
"That shits funnier than a one toed "Democrat" wearing a flip flop".
This post was edited on 4/7/14 at 3:48 pm
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