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Wife and I are thinking about adopting
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:44 pm
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:44 pm
We have a 10 year old son and he is a handful like most 10 year olds. We thought about having a second child years ago, but decided against it. We have entertained the idea of adopting an older child in the age range of 6-10. I really don't want to go through the 0-2 years with a child at this point, so adoption seems like a good course. I've just started reading up on it. Of course we're at the very initial stages of even thinking seriously about it.
Just wondering if any of you guys have any horror stories or, hopefully, great successes of adoption.
Have any of you adopted children? I went to adoptUSAkids.org and searched my state for kids. It seems most of them have behavior and school issues, which I can assume is associated with the situation they're in. Heck, most kids have these same issues. But probably a bit more pronounced in these kids. I think it would be very cool to give a kid a good home and family.
Just wondering if any of you guys have any horror stories or, hopefully, great successes of adoption.
Have any of you adopted children? I went to adoptUSAkids.org and searched my state for kids. It seems most of them have behavior and school issues, which I can assume is associated with the situation they're in. Heck, most kids have these same issues. But probably a bit more pronounced in these kids. I think it would be very cool to give a kid a good home and family.
This post was edited on 2/26/14 at 1:46 pm
26
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:45 pm to i am dan
quote:
I went to adoptUSAkids.org
How about foreign-born?
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:46 pm to i am dan
go to asia and adopt a chinaman
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:47 pm to i am dan
Man, I wouldn't want to deal with adopting a kid I couldn't mold that was between 6-10. Would be like getting a rescue puppy where there could be all sorts of underlying psychological issues that you will never, NEVER be able to fix.
Go with the infant and give a kid a chance. Its too late for the older ones.
ETA: Don't fool yourself into believing you can fix them. You can't.
Go with the infant and give a kid a chance. Its too late for the older ones.
ETA: Don't fool yourself into believing you can fix them. You can't.
This post was edited on 2/26/14 at 1:49 pm
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:47 pm to i am dan
All I know is it's best to get them as young as possible. A lot come from some bad situations. The less they remember, the more you can mold them into respectable members of society. 
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:48 pm to i am dan
The younger the easier.
But... I know a family who adopted three.
The oldest asked to return to her mother, and did.
If you can give a child a good life, it's about the greatest gift you can give.
But... I know a family who adopted three.
The oldest asked to return to her mother, and did.
If you can give a child a good life, it's about the greatest gift you can give.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:50 pm to i am dan
Have you considered being a foster parent? I've heard that is one way to adopt...is to foster the child first.
When you go that route it is much less expensive and the state usually pays for most of your adoption fees(from what I've been told).
When you go that route it is much less expensive and the state usually pays for most of your adoption fees(from what I've been told).
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:50 pm to i am dan
I'd imagine a kid that was put up for adoption at 8 will be pretty fricked in the head
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:51 pm to i am dan
My wife & I adopted a 9 year old boy (10 yrs ago). Pretty much all kids coming out of foster homes, etc have "issues" or baggage but don't we all? Finding a kid in at age group will be a breeze. Contact your state's DCS (Dept of Child Services) or whatever your state calls it so you can adopt a "local" kid. I can't image not adopting him again if I had to do it over. In Florida the process is very easy and almost free (cost a total of $5 and that was for the finger printing to do the background check). Also the DCS have "viewings" where they take a bunch of the kids to park and prospective parents can "view" the kids to see which ones they want (I know that sounds shitty but how else could you find out). During the process you'll get the complete case study so there won't be any surprises. Good luck!
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:52 pm to i am dan
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:54 pm to i am dan
I'm not telling you not to do it, but don't do it.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:54 pm to i am dan
Ask Willie Robertson?
Posted on 2/26/14 at 1:56 pm to i am dan
White kids - ~$28k
Non-white - $8k
But this is the OT. You have baller status and can afford a white kid.
Non-white - $8k
But this is the OT. You have baller status and can afford a white kid.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:00 pm to i am dan
I would be extremely careful if you want to adopt in the US. A lot of kids that are put up for adoption by mothers with a history of drug use most likely even during the entire pregnancy.
Exposure to these toxic drugs during fetal development often cause long term effects... Usually not immediately evident in the newborn-baby period, but will manifest as they begin to mature: autism, ADHD, depressed IQ, oppositional defiant disorders, depression, and numerous behavioral problems.
Remember once you adopt... It is a no return policy.
Exposure to these toxic drugs during fetal development often cause long term effects... Usually not immediately evident in the newborn-baby period, but will manifest as they begin to mature: autism, ADHD, depressed IQ, oppositional defiant disorders, depression, and numerous behavioral problems.
Remember once you adopt... It is a no return policy.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:01 pm to i am dan
quote:
Just wondering if any of you guys have any horror stories or, hopefully, great successes of adoption.
It's an honorable thing but realistically it's like rolling the dice. I grew up with quit a few kids that were adopted and turned out fine. I saw a story a few years ago I think on 60 minutes where this couple decided to adopt an older kid. He turned out to be a sociopath and was so bad they wanted to give him back to the state.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:25 pm to i am dan
We adopted internationally and had a wonderful experience. However, the longer children are in "the system", whether US or international, the more they are exposed to which can lead to reactive behavior. I would never steer anyone from adoption but, knowing many adoptive parents, strongly encourage you to hire an experienced adoption social worker that can educate you and prepare you.
Let me know if you have adoption questions. Happy to answer.
Let me know if you have adoption questions. Happy to answer.
Posted on 2/26/14 at 2:34 pm to i am dan
1. Adopt a large African-American
2. Get him on protein
3. Dominate sports
4. Scholarship to LSU
5. Get drafted
6. ????
7. Profit
2. Get him on protein
3. Dominate sports
4. Scholarship to LSU
5. Get drafted
6. ????
7. Profit
Posted on 2/26/14 at 3:58 pm to i am dan
My dad was adopted at somewhere around 10-12 and it turned out really well for my grandmother. Well, he did knock my mother up in her younger 20s, but she was responsible, so again, it worked out 
Posted on 2/26/14 at 4:37 pm to i am dan
So you're looking for a fixer-upper? Black market.
Posted on 4/20/14 at 5:36 pm to i am dan
My wife and I adopted a 9 year old about 6 years ago. When adopting an older child, you at least have an idea of the things they have been through.
Our son has changed our life in ways that we could not have imagined. He is a very talented baseball player and has given us much joy watching him excel on the mound.
He has had trouble bonding with us. He also has trouble telling the truth and with school.
Summing all of the positives and negatives up, I would not hesitate to adopt him again. He is a wonderful young man and I can't wait to see what time of person he becomes.
Our son has changed our life in ways that we could not have imagined. He is a very talented baseball player and has given us much joy watching him excel on the mound.
He has had trouble bonding with us. He also has trouble telling the truth and with school.
Summing all of the positives and negatives up, I would not hesitate to adopt him again. He is a wonderful young man and I can't wait to see what time of person he becomes.
This post was edited on 4/20/14 at 5:42 pm
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