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re: Give me your best dad joke

Posted on 6/3/23 at 10:54 pm to
Posted by OWLFAN86
Erotic Novelist
Member since Jun 2004
182841 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 10:54 pm to
quote:

Where can you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him

ok, that got me
Posted by Hopeful Doc
Member since Sep 2010
15217 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 11:05 pm to
What do a near-sighted gynecologist and a yellow lab have in common?




A wet nose.
This post was edited on 6/3/23 at 11:12 pm
Posted by selfgen
youngsville
Member since Aug 2006
1082 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 11:13 pm to
Did you hear the joke about the couch?

It was “sofa” unnyyyyy!!!!!!
Posted by deeprig9
2023/24 B2B GSB Riboff Champ
Member since Sep 2012
67051 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 11:14 pm to
When's the best time to go to the dentist?


2:30
Posted by slaughlin
North Dad Gum Louisiana
Member since Apr 2008
3167 posts
Posted on 6/4/23 at 12:54 am to
What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?

Eileen
Posted by Iron Lion
Sipsey
Member since Nov 2014
12242 posts
Posted on 6/4/23 at 1:08 am to
quote:

What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?

Eileen

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg longer than the other?

Irene
Posted by EastBankTiger
A little west of Hoover Dam
Member since Dec 2003
21484 posts
Posted on 6/4/23 at 2:29 am to
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

My pops was a retired firefighter. Apparently, they have a warped sense of humor.
Posted by goodshotred2
Columbia, SC
Member since Aug 2013
322 posts
Posted on 6/4/23 at 5:23 am to
My dad's favorite gag when introducing me to someone I didn't know was:

Have you met my son? He looks just like his father. If I ever get a hold of that guy, he's in big trouble.

Posted by tss22h8
30.4 N 90.9 W
Member since Jan 2007
18747 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 7:31 pm to
I used to work for Nathan's Hot Dogs.

I got fired bc I couldn't cut the mustard.
Posted by xGeauxLSUx
United States of Atrophy
Member since Oct 2008
21456 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:24 pm to
quote:

What’s the difference between a Garbanzo bean and Chickpea?

I wouldn't pay to have a Garbanzo Bean on my face.

What’s the difference between a Garbanzo bean and Chickpea?

I wouldn't pay to have a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
Posted by xGeauxLSUx
United States of Atrophy
Member since Oct 2008
21456 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:29 pm to
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?






































Russell
Posted by Wraytex
San Antonio - Gonzales
Member since Jun 2020
2451 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:29 pm to
He didn’t kill Minnie.

The judge said “Mickey I can’t let you divorce Minnie because you think she’s silly….”

Mickey replied “I didn’t say she was silly, I said she’s f@&!king goofy!”
Posted by xGeauxLSUx
United States of Atrophy
Member since Oct 2008
21456 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:31 pm to
That's much better
Posted by BoogaBear
Member since Jul 2013
6048 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:33 pm to
quote:

I’m a fan of one that comes out on road trips. When passing through places like Cuba, AL., or Paris, TX., you have to say “whoa we must have taken a wrong turn!”


No bullshite, when passing Georgiana, AL my wife looked over at me and says, "Hmm, I didn't know Georgia and Louisiana touched."

Almost dropped her off on side the road right there
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
82278 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:37 pm to
My Dad told me this probably around 1978. I was duly impressed:

A harpist in San Francisco died and there was a will reading for the family. His wife asked the lawyer who he bequeathed his cherished harp to. The lawyer informed his wife he left it to the owner of his favorite disco, a kindly man named Sam Frank. His wife was outraged and said," but why Sam Frank?". The lawyer opened the will and read the harpists words " I left my harp in Sam Frank's disco".

Get it? Ugh. :rimshot:
Posted by scrooster
Resident Ethicist
Member since Jul 2012
39466 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:39 pm to
I've got an entire book of them the kids and grandkids gave me.
Posted by GeauxOCDP
Member since Jul 2015
1022 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 9:36 pm to
You can't run in a campground...

You can only ran because it's past tents.
Posted by gumbo2176
Member since May 2018
16344 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 9:52 pm to
How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it!


How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way------unique up on it!
Posted by yakster
Member since Mar 2021
1862 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 9:55 pm to
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to stupids house.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Chicken…
Posted by GruntbyAssociation
Member since Jul 2013
5267 posts
Posted on 8/7/23 at 9:56 pm to
Sandwich walks into a bar. The Bartender says, “Get out we don’t serve food here.”
This post was edited on 8/7/23 at 9:56 pm
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