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re: Give me your best dad joke

Posted on 9/19/23 at 8:44 pm to
Posted by IS_IT_GAMEDAY
Member since Aug 2018
1654 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 8:44 pm to
You can tune a guitar, you can tune a piano, but can't tuna fish.

You can pick your friends
You can pick your nose
But you can't pick your friends nose and wipe it on the couch.
Posted by Rouge
Floston Paradise
Member since Oct 2004
136835 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 8:45 pm to
Why does Norway have barcodes on the sides of their ships?





















So when the come back to port, they can........

























Scandinavian :rimshot:
Posted by FightinTigersDammit
Louisiana North
Member since Mar 2006
34763 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 8:49 pm to
Kinky Friedman version:
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends off on the saddlehorn
Posted by Oddibe
Close to some, further from others
Member since Sep 2015
6567 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 9:10 pm to
I rarely tell dad jokes……but when I do he laughs.

When does a joke become a dad joke……when it’s apparent.
Posted by Hickok
Htown
Member since Jan 2013
2872 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 9:17 pm to
You ever hear of the Fakawi tribe, it was a bunch of 3 foot tall Indians running around in 6 feet of grass screaming, where the Fakawi!
Posted by mceuph
New Orleans, LA
Member since Dec 2005
815 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 9:23 pm to
Did you hear about the Dyslexic Agnostic Insomniac?

He laid awake all night wondering whether or not there was a Dog.
Posted by Jor Jor The Dinosaur
Chicago, IL
Member since Nov 2014
6595 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 9:23 pm to
Did you know that after 100+ years the swimming pool on the Titanic is still filled with water?
Posted by StrongOffer
Member since Sep 2020
4386 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 10:02 pm to
Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular
Posted by sqerty
AP
Member since May 2022
5045 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 10:56 pm to
My dick was in the Guinness Book of World Records, then the librarian told me to take it out.
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65777 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 11:05 pm to
quote:

Did you hear about the man crushed by 10000 cheese wheels?

There's Stiltons of DeBrie on him
Edam, it’s not gouda to meet your feta that whey.
Posted by tss22h8
30.4 N 90.9 W
Member since Jan 2007
18657 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 11:14 pm to
In the German movie Der Untergang, one of the soldiers in the bunker says "Berlin has become a city of warehouses. 'Where's my house? Where's my house?'"

[That's not a literal translation I'm sure, but that's how it came over the subtitles.]
Posted by UnluckyTiger
Member since Sep 2003
35873 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 11:16 pm to
Don’t know why that one made me laugh so hard





Why couldn’t the bicycle stand on its own?





It was two tired.
Posted by CocodrieBaw
Member since Sep 2023
211 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 11:20 pm to
What do you call a frog that’s illegally parked?

Toad
Posted by JackieTreehorn
Malibu
Member since Sep 2013
29127 posts
Posted on 9/19/23 at 11:21 pm to
Posted by belowmebama
Member since Jul 2008
7304 posts
Posted on 9/20/23 at 5:52 am to
What do you call a sleep walking nun?

A Roamin Catholic
Posted by LSUfan4444
Member since Mar 2004
53894 posts
Posted on 9/20/23 at 5:55 am to


Did you hear about the kidnapping at school today?

Don't worry...he woke up.








Not reading the whole thread to see if it was posted, sorry.
Posted by AlumneyeJ93
Member since Apr 2022
647 posts
Posted on 9/20/23 at 7:13 am to
What kind of doctor was Dr. Pepper? A fizzician.
Posted by Scooby
Member since Aug 2006
1881 posts
Posted on 9/20/23 at 7:35 am to
Last night I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But when I woke up, I realized it was just a Fanta sea.
Posted by boddagetta
Moulton
Member since Mar 2011
9999 posts
Posted on 9/20/23 at 8:27 am to
Riding along with my grandad as we went over a railroad crossing, he'd say:

A train has been through here. Know how I know?

It left it's tracks.
Posted by lsusteve1
Member since Dec 2004
41961 posts
Posted on 9/20/23 at 9:18 am to
Why did the chicken cross the road?

"BEEEEECAUUUSSEEEEE"
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