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Started By
Message
re: Divorce Experience
Posted on 1/15/23 at 5:50 pm to Alimoneydave
Posted on 1/15/23 at 5:50 pm to Alimoneydave
quote:
Alimoneydave
Jerry Reed has your answer.
She's living like a queen on alimony and you'll be working two shifts and eating bologna.
Women and men have equal rights on things good for women, but that goes out the window come divorce time.
I came out only losing 150k, but we didn't have kids.
0
Posted on 1/15/23 at 9:51 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
Doing these sorts of uncontested modifications is one of my niches
So is this something that can be drawn up and agreed upon/signed without going before a judge? My case involves 5 kids total.
19 year old
16 year old twins (both refuse to visit or stay with their mother)
5 year old twins that we split 50/50
I'm currently paying $1882/month child support, which I'm not complaining about. My concern is that I'm paying for 100% of everything while they live with me and still paying HER while they live with me.
**Fuerst has handled this for the past 2 years and I'm a little underwhelmed.**
quote:
What I'm curious about is what you would type into google to find a cheaper alternative?
I wouldn't even know where to begin, which is why I'm reduced to posting on the OT.
Posted on 1/15/23 at 10:05 pm to Alimoneydave
quote:
Alimoneydave
quote:
Divorce Experience
Posted on 1/15/23 at 10:08 pm to TrapperJohn
quote:you've got two 16 year old daughters?
My 16 year old daughters
Posted on 1/15/23 at 10:16 pm to SuperSaint
Yeah and no pics. I also have two 5 year old daughters. No pics of them either in case Acreboy is lurking.
Posted on 1/15/23 at 10:32 pm to LSUmomma
quote:
both me and Mr. Momma have each had grounds to cut bait and wal
What were the reasons?
Posted on 1/15/23 at 10:38 pm to pelicanpride
quote:
Still, I tend to agree with the statement above. It is well known that choosing to stay home with the kids reduces a woman’s earning potential, often for the remainder of her career.
Again, so what? Don’t get divorced then.
Posted on 1/16/23 at 12:10 am to Mo Jeaux
quote:
Still, I tend to agree with the statement above. It is well known that choosing to stay home with the kids reduces a woman’s earning potential, often for the remainder of her career.
quote:
Again, so what? Don’t get divorced then.
Not planning to get divorced, but based on the stories that I’ve read in this thread, my husband would be in a good financial position in the event of a divorce because I went back to work after having kids rather than staying home. We both earn similar amounts at this point.
I’m old enough to understand that marriage is hard, and I agree with you that divorce should be a last resort. Still, simply saying “don’t get divorced” isn’t going to help if one party wants out. Maybe better advice would be to marry someone who intends to keep working after having kids. If you marry a woman who wants to stay at home or if you want that arrangement yourself, you are opening yourself up to a situation where you may have to help finance the gap in her lost earnings in the event of a divorce. If you don’t want that as a possibility, don’t encourage your wife to be a stay at home mom.
Posted on 1/16/23 at 12:18 am to TrapperJohn
God bless you
Posted on 1/16/23 at 4:56 am to pelicanpride
quote:
If you marry a woman who wants to stay at home or if you want that arrangement yourself, you are opening yourself up to a situation where you may have to help finance the gap in her lost earnings in the event of a divorce. If you don’t want that as a possibility, don’t encourage your wife to be a stay at home mom.
The point is that this should not be the case, except in very limited circumstances.
Posted on 1/16/23 at 6:21 am to pelicanpride
quote:
Maybe better advice would be to marry someone who intends to keep working after having kids. If you marry a woman who wants to stay at home or if you want that arrangement yourself, you are opening yourself up to a situation where you may have to help finance the gap in her lost earnings in the event of a divorce. If you don’t want that as a possibility, don’t encourage your wife to be a stay at home mom.
Best advice for a man is to simply not get married. Louisiana isn’t a common law state. Why would a man want to invite the state to wreck his life? A wedding license is simply an invitation for the state and the family law actors to wreck you.
If I had a son I’d be telling him to stay the hell away from getting married. Do NOT get married. Do NOT invite the state to wreck the shite out of your life.
On the other hand of course, as far as my daughter, I’m telling her that if she finds a good man to try and get married in her mid to late 20’s. The system is set up in her favor. (no pics)
This post was edited on 1/16/23 at 6:22 am
Posted on 1/17/23 at 9:52 am to TrapperJohn
quote:
According to my attorney, the ONLY way to get child support reduced or visitation modified is to go before a judge.
Not entirely true. You can go to an HOC and they will do the calculation and modify it. If the ex-wife agrees to the modification of support the judge will sign off before you have to go before them. Now, if she objects and fights it then yes you will have to go to trial.
Posted on 1/17/23 at 9:58 am to Alimoneydave
quote:
I (male) filed
You filed? I don't know a lot about these things but what I do know is that the woman files in the vast majority of divorces. You filing was a major error IMO. I would expect her to be extra vindictive in your case and fight you on everything.
Posted on 1/17/23 at 10:03 am to TrapperJohn
quote:
I'm currently paying $1882/month child support, which I'm not complaining about. My concern is that I'm paying for 100% of everything while they live with me and still paying HER while they live with me.
Are you saying your kids live 100% of the time with you now?
My ex was crazy and kept threatening to deny I was paying CS. The Louisiana DCFS has a service where they manage/track CS. I stopped cutting checks to her directly and sent them to DCFS who then routed them back to her tracking all payments and chasing me down should I (never did) skip
Each year you are entitled to requesting a CS payment review. DCFS will send you ask for information such as tax info, pay stubs, daycare costs, and any health/dental costs you've incurred throughout the year.
Their officer will then determine if a payment adjustment is warranted.
Both of my kids decided to live with me fulltime when they turned 13. I was able to get adjustments of CS payments each time
I did still pay her some money but I saw it as a payment to "stay the frick away" and was glad to pay it.
Posted on 1/17/23 at 10:05 am to Alimoneydave
If you are a white male, primary income bringer, married almost 10 years, and you are the party that filed for the divorce; (and she didn't cheat on you).....you'll be lucky to get 50/50 custody. She's about to rake you through the coals financially. I hope the best for you, find a vicious female attorney to fight on your behalf.
Posted on 1/17/23 at 10:08 am to mthorn2
You pretty much described my situation. I got 50/50 and domicilary custody. Now financially yes I got drained but as others have said in this thread, you cant put a price on peace of mind both for you and your children.
Posted on 1/17/23 at 10:11 am to Goldrush25
quote:
You filed? I don't know a lot about these things but what I do know is that the woman files in the vast majority of divorces. You filing was a major error IMO. I would expect her to be extra vindictive in your case and fight you on everything.
Im a male that also filed. What i do know is that everyones situation is different. In cases of abuse, mental illness, neglect or substance abuse issues sometimes your hand is forced even though the other spouse is choosing to destroy the family. Its a difficult position to be put in but I wouldnt classify the male/breadwinner filing as always an "error"
This post was edited on 1/17/23 at 10:12 am
Posted on 1/17/23 at 10:12 am to Brobocop
quote:
Jesus frick divorce sounds miserable.
If you and your spouse are on the same page, the process is pretty smooth. You can even do it without lawyers and file everything yourself with the court and save a shitton of money.
Posted on 1/17/23 at 10:14 am to lsugradman
quote:
You pretty much described my situation. I got 50/50 and domicilary custody. Now financially yes I got drained but as others have said in this thread, you cant put a price on peace of mind both for you and your children.
Domicilary custody is an often overlooked detail
DO NOT CEDE DOMICILIARY TO YOUR EX!!! It doesn't seem taht important when they are young but it affects school of choice and many other factors that will bite you in the arse over time
This post was edited on 1/17/23 at 10:14 am
Posted on 1/17/23 at 10:16 am to Tigeralum2008
It was absolutely CRITICAL in my situation due to the instability and vindictive nature of my ex. When you cant come to any agreement with your ex because they are either unreasonable or mentally unstable or both....being able to make rational decisions for your children is of utmost importance.
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