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Started By
Message
Overstepping My Bounds?
Posted on 10/22/14 at 8:47 pm
Posted on 10/22/14 at 8:47 pm
Alright folks, I'm trying to see if I will be overstepping my bounds if I proceed on my current plan.
Backstory, my girlfriend's sister is basically baby factory. She's got 4 kids with 2 guys and is basically useless outside of being a dickhole. Her oldest is going to turn 15 or 16 next year (I can't remember which). The issue is at this age in their state he has the right to chose which parent he lives with. This brings us to the next issue.
He and all of his siblings currently live with his grandma (my girlfriend's mom) as the sister is useless. She bounces between living there and living at whatever guy's house she's boning at the moment. The dad lives in Florida. He's a piece of work as well. He's actually been arrested or charged or something (they are somewhat vague about it obviously) for being a child sex predator. Now I have no idea how having something like this on your record doesn't immediately take you off the list of acceptable guardian, but apparently natural sex predator parent trumps a loving responsible grandparent.
So my girlfriend's mom is basically terrified he's going to chose his father as he's the dad who spends a thousand bucks on them every Christmas, flies them down for a week every summer where they go to Disney World every day and stay up until 4 AM and then we never see him for the rest of the year whereas the grandma is actually, ya know, a parent. Basically it's rules vs no rules and who knows what some teen is gonna pick.
He can chose on his birthday in March. At the moment the only time we're gonna see them before then is Christmas. I'm planning on taking him aside and talking with him about it as I know he looks up to me somewhat (he's never had any consistent male figure in his life). My two issues are:
1. Whether I should say something at all as I'm not an actual member of the family (although my girlfriend and I live together, have been dating for years, and are well on that track).
2. Whether the timing is right, I don't want to ruin Christmas, but I don't know when else I can talk to him.
Should I continue on my current track or revise my plan?
Backstory, my girlfriend's sister is basically baby factory. She's got 4 kids with 2 guys and is basically useless outside of being a dickhole. Her oldest is going to turn 15 or 16 next year (I can't remember which). The issue is at this age in their state he has the right to chose which parent he lives with. This brings us to the next issue.
He and all of his siblings currently live with his grandma (my girlfriend's mom) as the sister is useless. She bounces between living there and living at whatever guy's house she's boning at the moment. The dad lives in Florida. He's a piece of work as well. He's actually been arrested or charged or something (they are somewhat vague about it obviously) for being a child sex predator. Now I have no idea how having something like this on your record doesn't immediately take you off the list of acceptable guardian, but apparently natural sex predator parent trumps a loving responsible grandparent.
So my girlfriend's mom is basically terrified he's going to chose his father as he's the dad who spends a thousand bucks on them every Christmas, flies them down for a week every summer where they go to Disney World every day and stay up until 4 AM and then we never see him for the rest of the year whereas the grandma is actually, ya know, a parent. Basically it's rules vs no rules and who knows what some teen is gonna pick.
He can chose on his birthday in March. At the moment the only time we're gonna see them before then is Christmas. I'm planning on taking him aside and talking with him about it as I know he looks up to me somewhat (he's never had any consistent male figure in his life). My two issues are:
1. Whether I should say something at all as I'm not an actual member of the family (although my girlfriend and I live together, have been dating for years, and are well on that track).
2. Whether the timing is right, I don't want to ruin Christmas, but I don't know when else I can talk to him.
Should I continue on my current track or revise my plan?
35
Posted on 10/22/14 at 8:48 pm to FootballNostradamus
man and i thought i had a bad day.
And, your story is bullshite, Disney don't stay open until 4 am.
And, your story is bullshite, Disney don't stay open until 4 am.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 8:48 pm to FootballNostradamus
I would dump your gf, bad genes
This post was edited on 10/22/14 at 8:52 pm
Posted on 10/22/14 at 8:49 pm to FootballNostradamus
I wouldn't say anything.
Momma always said to choose your battles.
Momma always said to choose your battles.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 8:49 pm to FootballNostradamus
Dump your girlfriend. No guy should have to deal with all that shite.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 8:53 pm to FootballNostradamus
quote:
girlfriends sister
You sure you want to get involved with this family?
Posted on 10/22/14 at 8:56 pm to Buck Dancer
Hope you're kididng about the 4am part. Clearly he is talking about their bed time.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 8:58 pm to FootballNostradamus
Don't bring it up unless the kid does.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 8:58 pm to FootballNostradamus
If he wants to live with his father, let him. Unless you know the dad has raped a child, you need to stfu and allow him to make his own choice. Oh, your gf has that gene in her, which could be passed to any future kid you have. Good luck.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 9:00 pm to FootballNostradamus
Tell him. You wont regret it.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 9:01 pm to FootballNostradamus
Dump the gf. All signs point to a crazy trashy family.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 9:03 pm to FootballNostradamus
Mind your own business.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 9:03 pm to FootballNostradamus
Yes
You are overstepping your bounds
You are overstepping your bounds
Posted on 10/22/14 at 9:03 pm to FootballNostradamus
quote:You making this statement without knowing what he was actually arrested for says a lot about YOU.
He's actually been arrested or charged or something (they are somewhat vague about it obviously) for being a child sex predator. Now I have no idea how having something like this on your record doesn't immediately take you off the list of acceptable guardian, but apparently natural sex predator parent trumps a loving responsible grandparent.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 9:07 pm to Geauxtiga
quote:
You making this statement without knowing what he was actually arrested for says a lot about YOU.
He's on probation for being an underaged sexual predator. I believe he got caught soliciting sex from an undercover cop online that he thought was an underaged girl. I don't know all the details, even my girlfriend doesn't know them all as the family is obviously somewhat quiet about it.
This post was edited on 10/22/14 at 9:09 pm
Posted on 10/22/14 at 9:08 pm to FootballNostradamus
Tough situation. Question I have is, suppose he decided he wanted to live with the dad: would the dad accept that? I guess I see it as a long shot that a POS who avoided his kid for his entire life would suddenly allow a teenager he barely knows to infiltrate his life; cramp his style, so to speak
Do y'all know for sure that the dad would even accept the kid choosing him? Because your conundrum might very well may be irrelevant.
Although that would raise an altogether different, necessary discussion to make sure this kid doesn't feel discarded
EDIT: Either way, before you do anything, you talk to the gf about it. If she feels a talk with the kid would be beneficial, then you can consider going for it. But you don't make this decision yourself.
Do y'all know for sure that the dad would even accept the kid choosing him? Because your conundrum might very well may be irrelevant.
Although that would raise an altogether different, necessary discussion to make sure this kid doesn't feel discarded
EDIT: Either way, before you do anything, you talk to the gf about it. If she feels a talk with the kid would be beneficial, then you can consider going for it. But you don't make this decision yourself.
This post was edited on 10/22/14 at 9:11 pm
Posted on 10/22/14 at 9:11 pm to funnystuff
As far as the "dump the gf" posts, I figured these were coming, but it's not that. Everyone in the household but the sister is beyond solid. The mom is a saint, the gf is unreal, and the mom somehow raised 4 pretty solid kids considering what they've been through with their absurd mom.
The sister brings the crazy and she's the exception in a big way.
The sister brings the crazy and she's the exception in a big way.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 9:11 pm to FootballNostradamus
Damn, that's rough.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 9:11 pm to FootballNostradamus
quote:
Alright folks, I'm trying to see if I will be overstepping my bounds if I proceed on my current plan.
Backstory, my girlfriend's sister is basically baby factory. She's got 4 kids with 2 guys and is basically useless outside of being a dickhole. Her oldest is going to turn 15 or 16 next year (I can't remember which). The issue is at this age in their state he has the right to chose which parent he lives with. This brings us to the next issue.
He and all of his siblings currently live with his grandma (my girlfriend's mom) as the sister is useless. She bounces between living there and living at whatever guy's house she's boning at the moment. The dad lives in Florida. He's a piece of work as well. He's actually been arrested or charged or something (they are somewhat vague about it obviously) for being a child sex predator. Now I have no idea how having something like this on your record doesn't immediately take you off the list of acceptable guardian, but apparently natural sex predator parent trumps a loving responsible grandparent.
So my girlfriend's mom is basically terrified he's going to chose his father as he's the dad who spends a thousand bucks on them every Christmas, flies them down for a week every summer where they go to Disney World every day and stay up until 4 AM and then we never see him for the rest of the year whereas the grandma is actually, ya know, a parent. Basically it's rules vs no rules and who knows what some teen is gonna pick.
He can chose on his birthday in March. At the moment the only time we're gonna see them before then is Christmas. I'm planning on taking him aside and talking with him about it as I know he looks up to me somewhat (he's never had any consistent male figure in his life). My two issues are:
1. Whether I should say something at all as I'm not an actual member of the family (although my girlfriend and I live together, have been dating for years, and are well on that track).
2. Whether the timing is right, I don't want to ruin Christmas, but I don't know when else I can talk to him.
Should I continue on my current track or revise my plan?
What is this? A fricking Highway to Heaven episode? Mind your own business next time.
Posted on 10/22/14 at 9:11 pm to ell_13
Don't listen to the arse hats that say dump your girlfriend. Step up and try to give these kids some guidance. They didn't choose to be be in this situation. Your help may change their lives forever. Don't know unless you try. You're a good man for even considering this. Hats off to you sir and best of luck to you and these children.
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