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Asking for Money in lieu of wedding registry

Posted on 4/6/14 at 12:26 pm
Posted by bryken89
GD
Member since Apr 2009
467 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 12:26 pm
I understand that to some this is taboo, but my fiancé and I already live together and have more than enough junk. Is it alright to ask for money to go towards things like honeymoon, first home, and stuff of that nature?
Posted by That's BS
Smoothie King Center
Member since Jan 2012
1783 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 12:40 pm to
I'd ask for gift cards before I ask for just cash.
Posted by I Love Bama
Alabama
Member since Nov 2007
37694 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 12:47 pm to
My buddy did this. I didn't give him shite.
Posted by ScottieP
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Feb 2004
1933 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 12:54 pm to
See the problems that arise when living in sin!!

Just kidding. I have had people do that and it makes you think, WTF. Just did gift cards though. One exception was I had a cousin that was marrying a Brit. After the wedding they were moving to England. They wanted $$ and gift cards. Made sense.
Posted by Joshjrn
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2008
26982 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 1:18 pm to
I don't have an issue with it, but expect some grumbles from a solid number of people in your life, whether they tell them to you or not.
Posted by RocktownHog52
Little Rock
Member since Sep 2013
422 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 1:43 pm to
Some places gift return only for credit. Other places for cash. Only register at places that you can return stuff for cash. My wife and I brought in 2 carts full of crap back to bed bath and beyond and walked out with $1800.
Posted by ZereauxSum
Lot 23E
Member since Nov 2008
10176 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 2:18 pm to
quote:

Some places gift return only for credit. Other places for cash. Only register at places that you can return stuff for cash. My wife and I brought in 2 carts full of crap back to bed bath and beyond and walked out with $1800.


This I the correct answer. More legwork on your part but it doesn't put any of your invitees off.

I personally love cash a a gift. The majority of gifts people buy for each other is absolute space-wasting garbage. But people are hard wired to frown upon cash so it is what it is.
Posted by That's BS
Smoothie King Center
Member since Jan 2012
1783 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 2:28 pm to
I got married last month and we got about 5 serving trays.
Posted by lynxcat
Member since Jan 2008
24124 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 2:39 pm to
quote:

I personally love cash a a gift. The majority of gifts people buy for each other is absolute space-wasting garbage. But people are hard wired to frown upon cash so it is what it is.


Then register for the right items rather than 'space-wasting garbage'. This is an easy solution.
Posted by Zach
Gizmonic Institute
Member since May 2005
112410 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 2:54 pm to
Is this your wedding?

LINK
Posted by Tigerpaw123
Louisiana
Member since Mar 2007
17252 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 3:10 pm to
Instead of putting a "registered at" card in the invitation just give directions on how to make a paypal deposit


Trashy.....
Posted by ZereauxSum
Lot 23E
Member since Nov 2008
10176 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 3:11 pm to
quote:

Then register for the right items rather than 'space-wasting garbage'. This is an easy solution.


I'm speaking about gift giving in general.

And as for a wedding, what if I don't yet have a good idea what I want to do with the new space? What if I only plan to rent an apartment for 6 months?

Cash is a whole lot simpler than coming up with a list of things that I may or may not want in a few months.
Posted by TigerAlum1982
Member since Sep 2011
1438 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 4:43 pm to
I personally don't like it, but from Emily Post, generally considered an etiquette expert.

LINK

“Registering” for Cash
It has always been acceptable to give cash (or a check) to the bride and groom; it is also now okay for the couple to signal that gifts of money would be welcome. As with registries, give this information out by word of mouth: “Of course we would love anything you get us, but we could really use help with a down-payment on our first home.” It’s okay to say “cash,” but if that makes you uncomfortable, “donation,” “help,” or “contribution” are all good substitutes. While there are websites that help to facilitate cash gifts, it’s best to have at least one other online registry as well, as many guests may not feel comfortable having no traditional gift options to chose from. Just remember: in the end, the choice of gift is always up to the giver"
Posted by Golfer
Member since Nov 2005
75052 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 4:52 pm to
Just register for a bunch of stuff from BBY. They'll give you cash for anything you return on the registry
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
102973 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 9:04 pm to
It's trashy to ask for money. Just say no gifts. What is this world coming to?
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97615 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 9:41 pm to
No reason for a big wedding if you're already living together.


And asking for cash is definitely frowned upon
Posted by lynxcat
Member since Jan 2008
24124 posts
Posted on 4/6/14 at 9:52 pm to
quote:

And as for a wedding, what if I don't yet have a good idea what I want to do with the new space? What if I only plan to rent an apartment for 6 months?


Because things like bedding and kitchen ware are constants regardless.
Posted by hawkeye007
Member since Feb 2010
5844 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 9:49 am to
i have no problem with this, my wife hates the idea. she has a good friend getting married and they have a very small registry and want everyone to give them cash to pay for the over the top honeymoon they cant afford otherwise. i told her the other night just give them the cash they want she said hell no! women and there damn wedding principles
Posted by Cold Cous Cous
Bucktown, La.
Member since Oct 2003
15043 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 10:03 am to
quote:

No reason for a big wedding if you're already living together.

And asking for cash is definitely frowned upon

Wedding registries were designed people getting married at 22, who literally didn't own pots or pans. It was kind of a cultural wealth transfer to young people to get them on their feet.

Now that it's more common for people to stay single until they're 30+, registries don't make sense. "Send me money so I can go to Tahiti/fully fund my Roth IRA" just isn't quite the same.
Posted by Blakely Bimbo
Member since Dec 2010
1183 posts
Posted on 4/7/14 at 10:58 am to
quote:

Asking for money in lieu of wedding registry


If this is your goal, you need to just go to the courthouse and get married and bypass the big wedding.

Rude.
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