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Message
Groomsman in Destination Wedding - WWTOTD
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:20 am
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:20 am
Good morning all,
My best friend is getting married in July in Santa Barbara, CA (his fiance is from CA), and he has asked me to be a groomsman. Their plan is to turn the entire thing into one big week long party starting with a joint bachelor/ette party in Vegas on Tuesday followed by a chartered bus trip to Santa Barbara on Wednesday, rehearsal and dinner on Thursday, and then wedding on Friday.
I agreed to be in it when he asked me a month or two ago, but they are now sending out the details about the rooms in Santa Barbara (which evidently is like the most expensive place in the world to be in July) and I'm realizing the cost of this trip is absolutely absurd. The rooms are $270 on Wednesday and Thursday, and $350 on Friday and Saturday). For the wife and I to make this trip, we are talking $950 plus tax in airfare, $100 for room in Vegas, and $890 plus tax on the hotel. That's $2000 and we haven't even discussed the cost of the tux rental, gambling money, money on food, or money for boozing. Not to mention it requires me taking off a week from work and it's the money I'd like to spend on a vacation with my family as I have a 5 month old that I'd like to take to the beach this summer.
I could leave the wife at home but that doesn't really do anything besides save be half of the airfare. We're still talking well over $1500 for this trip.
What would the OT do in my situation? Tell him the cost is ridiculous and I'm out of the whole thing? Skip Vegas and just do the wedding-specific stuff (Thursday and Friday)?
TIA.
TL;DR: $2000+ to be a groomsman in a destination wedding. Should I suck it up or tell my buddy he's crazy if he thinks I'm forking over that kind of money for something so frivolous?
My best friend is getting married in July in Santa Barbara, CA (his fiance is from CA), and he has asked me to be a groomsman. Their plan is to turn the entire thing into one big week long party starting with a joint bachelor/ette party in Vegas on Tuesday followed by a chartered bus trip to Santa Barbara on Wednesday, rehearsal and dinner on Thursday, and then wedding on Friday.
I agreed to be in it when he asked me a month or two ago, but they are now sending out the details about the rooms in Santa Barbara (which evidently is like the most expensive place in the world to be in July) and I'm realizing the cost of this trip is absolutely absurd. The rooms are $270 on Wednesday and Thursday, and $350 on Friday and Saturday). For the wife and I to make this trip, we are talking $950 plus tax in airfare, $100 for room in Vegas, and $890 plus tax on the hotel. That's $2000 and we haven't even discussed the cost of the tux rental, gambling money, money on food, or money for boozing. Not to mention it requires me taking off a week from work and it's the money I'd like to spend on a vacation with my family as I have a 5 month old that I'd like to take to the beach this summer.
I could leave the wife at home but that doesn't really do anything besides save be half of the airfare. We're still talking well over $1500 for this trip.
What would the OT do in my situation? Tell him the cost is ridiculous and I'm out of the whole thing? Skip Vegas and just do the wedding-specific stuff (Thursday and Friday)?
TIA.
TL;DR: $2000+ to be a groomsman in a destination wedding. Should I suck it up or tell my buddy he's crazy if he thinks I'm forking over that kind of money for something so frivolous?
53
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:21 am to Shenanigans
quote:
What would the OT do in my situation?
I wipe my arse with $2000 in the morning.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:22 am to Shenanigans
My good friend from back home married his wife in Santa Barbara (where she is from)...I went through almost this exact same thing 10 years ago. He didn't pay for anything either.
Prayers sent.
Prayers sent.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:22 am to Shenanigans
That sucks man. I'd skip vegas.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:23 am to Shenanigans
I hate people sometimes.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:23 am to Shenanigans
This is the Pinterest effect. Everything possible, with no intelligent decisions along the way. I was in one of these in Mexico, standing by a pool outside in full wool suits...just a clusterfrick of want-want-want. Good luck.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:23 am to Shenanigans
Should have considered that before you said yes.
Suck it up and do it now.
Suck it up and do it now.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:23 am to Shenanigans
quote:
Skip Vegas and just do the wedding-specific stuff (Thursday and Friday)?
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:24 am to Shenanigans
Bus from Vegas to Santa Barbara? frick that. I'd skip Vegas and go to just the wedding.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:24 am to Shenanigans
Depends on your financial situation
can you afford it?
can you afford it?
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:24 am to Shenanigans
jesus that sounds awful. i'd skip vegas and do up SB
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:25 am to Shenanigans
If you can't afford it, just tell him, he should understand
if you can, it sounds like it would be a blast to party with friends for a week, so I don't know why you wouldn't go
if you can, it sounds like it would be a blast to party with friends for a week, so I don't know why you wouldn't go
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:25 am to Shenanigans
If you cant afford it, tell him, fly out for the rehearsal and wedding. You are correct, that is a ton of money and it is taking away from your family vacation.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:25 am to massiveattack
Tell you will pass on this wedding but you will be in the next one if it's local.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:26 am to Shenanigans
You and your wife both apply individually for abarclays world arrival card. Hit the sign up bonus and that will give you 80,000 points = $800 that you can take off the trip.
You're welcome.
Or do the above and do something you want to do.
You're welcome.
Or do the above and do something you want to do.
This post was edited on 2/3/14 at 9:27 am
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:27 am to tigerfoot
yea i'd probably lean on a work excuse. I can't get away for the bachelor/ette party (wtf) and just do the wedding activities.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:27 am to Shenanigans
Fly in just for the weekend. Plane tickets aren't that expensive if you book early and find the correct airport.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:27 am to Shenanigans
quote:
$100 for room in Vegas
also where are there $100 rooms in vegas?
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:28 am to Shenanigans
I would not commit myself to that unless I had plenty of disposable income. Don't even consider putting yourself in a tough spot financially over that.
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:29 am to Shenanigans
I would just be honest and say you can't afford to be a groomsman. If he is your friend he will understand. If you and your wife just attend the wedding as guests it will be a lot cheaper.
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