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Groomsman in Destination Wedding - WWTOTD

Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:20 am
Posted by Shenanigans
Spring Hill, TN
Member since Nov 2012
2394 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:20 am
Good morning all,

My best friend is getting married in July in Santa Barbara, CA (his fiance is from CA), and he has asked me to be a groomsman. Their plan is to turn the entire thing into one big week long party starting with a joint bachelor/ette party in Vegas on Tuesday followed by a chartered bus trip to Santa Barbara on Wednesday, rehearsal and dinner on Thursday, and then wedding on Friday.

I agreed to be in it when he asked me a month or two ago, but they are now sending out the details about the rooms in Santa Barbara (which evidently is like the most expensive place in the world to be in July) and I'm realizing the cost of this trip is absolutely absurd. The rooms are $270 on Wednesday and Thursday, and $350 on Friday and Saturday). For the wife and I to make this trip, we are talking $950 plus tax in airfare, $100 for room in Vegas, and $890 plus tax on the hotel. That's $2000 and we haven't even discussed the cost of the tux rental, gambling money, money on food, or money for boozing. Not to mention it requires me taking off a week from work and it's the money I'd like to spend on a vacation with my family as I have a 5 month old that I'd like to take to the beach this summer.

I could leave the wife at home but that doesn't really do anything besides save be half of the airfare. We're still talking well over $1500 for this trip.

What would the OT do in my situation? Tell him the cost is ridiculous and I'm out of the whole thing? Skip Vegas and just do the wedding-specific stuff (Thursday and Friday)?

TIA.

TL;DR: $2000+ to be a groomsman in a destination wedding. Should I suck it up or tell my buddy he's crazy if he thinks I'm forking over that kind of money for something so frivolous?
Posted by TigerWise
Front Seat of an Uber
Member since Sep 2010
35113 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:21 am to
quote:

What would the OT do in my situation?


I wipe my arse with $2000 in the morning.
Posted by brgfather129
Los Angeles, CA
Member since Jul 2009
17101 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:22 am to
My good friend from back home married his wife in Santa Barbara (where she is from)...I went through almost this exact same thing 10 years ago. He didn't pay for anything either.

Prayers sent.
Posted by massiveattack
CharLIT/Chapel Chill
Member since Oct 2010
11554 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:22 am to
That sucks man. I'd skip vegas.
Posted by Camp Randall
The Shadow of the Valley of Death
Member since Nov 2005
15591 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:23 am to
I hate people sometimes.
Posted by Gaston
Dirty Coast
Member since Aug 2008
39007 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:23 am to
This is the Pinterest effect. Everything possible, with no intelligent decisions along the way. I was in one of these in Mexico, standing by a pool outside in full wool suits...just a clusterfrick of want-want-want. Good luck.
Posted by SG_Geaux
Beautiful St George
Member since Aug 2004
77977 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:23 am to
Should have considered that before you said yes.

Suck it up and do it now.


Posted by WB504
New Orleans
Member since May 2008
5873 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:23 am to
quote:

Skip Vegas and just do the wedding-specific stuff (Thursday and Friday)?
Posted by 9th life
birmingham
Member since Sep 2009
7310 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:24 am to
Bus from Vegas to Santa Barbara? frick that. I'd skip Vegas and go to just the wedding.
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97641 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:24 am to
Depends on your financial situation

can you afford it?
Posted by Geauxld Finger
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2005
31724 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:24 am to
jesus that sounds awful. i'd skip vegas and do up SB
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83579 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:25 am to
If you can't afford it, just tell him, he should understand

if you can, it sounds like it would be a blast to party with friends for a week, so I don't know why you wouldn't go
Posted by tigerfoot
Alexandria
Member since Sep 2006
56298 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:25 am to
If you cant afford it, tell him, fly out for the rehearsal and wedding. You are correct, that is a ton of money and it is taking away from your family vacation.
Posted by weadjust
Member since Aug 2012
15102 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:25 am to
Tell you will pass on this wedding but you will be in the next one if it's local.
Posted by Teddy Ruxpin
Member since Oct 2006
39582 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:26 am to
You and your wife both apply individually for abarclays world arrival card. Hit the sign up bonus and that will give you 80,000 points = $800 that you can take off the trip.

You're welcome.

Or do the above and do something you want to do.
This post was edited on 2/3/14 at 9:27 am
Posted by Geauxld Finger
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2005
31724 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:27 am to
yea i'd probably lean on a work excuse. I can't get away for the bachelor/ette party (wtf) and just do the wedding activities.
Posted by TigerHam85
59-024 Kamehameha Highway
Member since Nov 2009
31493 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:27 am to
Fly in just for the weekend. Plane tickets aren't that expensive if you book early and find the correct airport.
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97641 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:27 am to
quote:

$100 for room in Vegas


also where are there $100 rooms in vegas?
Posted by BayouBandit24
Member since Aug 2010
16575 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:28 am to
I would not commit myself to that unless I had plenty of disposable income. Don't even consider putting yourself in a tough spot financially over that.
Posted by Oxford Town
Member since Jan 2011
513 posts
Posted on 2/3/14 at 9:29 am to
I would just be honest and say you can't afford to be a groomsman. If he is your friend he will understand. If you and your wife just attend the wedding as guests it will be a lot cheaper.
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