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Started By
Message
Hunter claims he was sexually assaulted by Sasquatch
Posted on 5/12/17 at 12:59 pm
Posted on 5/12/17 at 12:59 pm
LINK
Proof he posts here...
quote:
The 57-year old man was walking to his hunting cabin on Sunday, to see if it had suffered any damage during the winter.
All of a sudden, a large “gorilla-like” creature dropped from a tree in front of him punched him in the face.
quote:
While Mr. Whitaker was trying to recover from the attack, the large humanoid creature began to tear his clothes while letting out some terrifying howls.
“When I regained consciousness, he had already torn my pants and was tearing through my underwear. I stabbed him in the shoulder with my hunting knife, and that made him run away.”
Proof he posts here...
quote:
Darrel Whitaker is convinced that the creature who attacked him was a sasquatch, but the GSPD investigators say it’s more probable that the attacker is simply a particularly large and hairy man.
They are currently interrogating nearby residents to see if anyone noticed an individual corresponding to the description of the suspect.
According to the victim, the attacker measure around 8-foot tall and is extremely hairy. He has brown hair, dark brown eyes and extremely large feet.
This post was edited on 5/12/17 at 1:01 pm
19
Posted on 5/12/17 at 1:14 pm to Clyde Tipton
Posted on 5/12/17 at 1:22 pm to Clyde Tipton
He obviously needs to pick up better women......and be particular about which ones shave
Posted on 5/12/17 at 1:39 pm to Clyde Tipton
I don't think I would've told anybody.
And how about a DNA test on that knife?
And how about a DNA test on that knife?
This post was edited on 5/12/17 at 1:46 pm
Posted on 5/12/17 at 2:12 pm to Clyde Tipton
Honestly this guy could have just regretted it after. I don't see any sense in ruining this squatch's life just cause they were both drunk and one thing led to another.
Posted on 5/12/17 at 2:18 pm to Clyde Tipton
That was a Sweetsquatch............
Posted on 5/12/17 at 3:03 pm to Neck
Baw would've been rurnt if Squatch has succeeded. 
Posted on 5/12/17 at 3:06 pm to SCwTiger
Would have heard him howling for miles.
Posted on 5/12/17 at 3:08 pm to SCwTiger
quote:
Baw would've been rurnt if Squatch has succeeded.
Could have been a lady squatch, of course rampant homosexuality may explain the population suppression and resulting lack of sightings.
Posted on 5/12/17 at 3:27 pm to Clyde Tipton
quote:
of course rampant homosexuality may explain the population suppression and resulting lack of sightings
plausible
Posted on 5/12/17 at 3:29 pm to Clyde Tipton
I think I took one of those home from Fools Gold in Alec back in the day.............
Posted on 5/12/17 at 3:53 pm to Clyde Tipton
quote:
When I regained consciousness, he had already torn my pants and was tearing through my underwear
Lets be honest, we've all been there
Posted on 5/12/17 at 4:24 pm to Clyde Tipton
Bobo and gang will be jealous.
Posted on 5/12/17 at 5:36 pm to Clyde Tipton
...them painties too....
Posted on 5/12/17 at 6:02 pm to TheDrunkenTigah
Posted on 5/12/17 at 7:47 pm to Clyde Tipton
I'm sure he thought he was carrying some jack links jerky in his underwear.
Posted on 5/12/17 at 8:05 pm to Clyde Tipton
No means NO.
Posted on 5/12/17 at 8:14 pm to oleyeller
quote:
Lets be honest, we've all been there
No man. Just no.
Posted on 5/12/17 at 8:31 pm to Clyde Tipton
We've all been there. Haven't we?
(Edit: Didn't see it already posted.
)
(Edit: Didn't see it already posted.
)This post was edited on 5/12/17 at 8:32 pm
Posted on 5/12/17 at 8:32 pm to Clyde Tipton
As I said in the last squatch thread, it sounds like Leslie Jones is just blowing off some steam after her failed acting career. The description describes her exactly.
This post was edited on 5/12/17 at 8:34 pm
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