re: Worst date you've ever been on?

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Idk if I would consider it a date. But I met this girl at my neighborhood pool. Her parents live there. I hadn't been on a date in over a year. Just got tired of dating and still hungover from my divorce. My confidence was in the shitter, but I decided to give it a shot though. We talk for a few days. And then she comes over to the house. It was a nice evening, so we decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. She didn't talk that much. The mosquitoes were unbearable. It was very awkward. I was nervous. The conversation felt forced. I knew I hadn't dated in a while, but geez. We went out a few times after that, but I feel like I blew it on that first date. She still texts me from time to time, but we haven't went out since.

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PIIHB

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Alabama Fan

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Red Lobster gift card

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I would have gone out for a nice seafood dinner with her

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No surprises here.

Took this girl that was in my class out to a Mexican restaurant one night. That was my first mistake. I heard from her friends that she was so excited to be going out on a date with me that she didn't eat all day. So at dinner she is downing margaritas, and I told her to eat something. She finally agreed to let me order for her after seeing my food and ate about half her plate. That was the second mistake. We go back to her apartment, start making out and I smell shite. She was farting so much that I would bet she had a hole in her underwear. That was my third mistake. I didn't stop. When I reached under her skirt, she was bare. No wonder it smelled like shite, she had nothing on under there. Well she let one more rip and I couldn't take it anymore. Told her I felt terrible and I had to go. She wouldn't look at me in class the rest of the semester. I'm just glad I didn't light up while I was there, bitch would have blown the place up.

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Alabama Fan quote:Red Lobster gift card quote: I would have gone out for a nice seafood dinner with her No surprises here.

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Alabama Fan



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Red Lobster gift card



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I would have gone out for a nice seafood dinner with her



No surprises here.

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Apparently someone isn't an Anchorman fan.

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She was farting so much that I would bet she had a hole in her underwear.

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I screwed fat girl on a beach one time she was my beached whale

About a decade ago I had an interesting three year run on match dot com. Lots of first dates, and a few that turned into month long booty calls. I was the only single coach on staff, so the guys always looked forwards to Mondays and hearing the stories of my weekend shenanigans with the occasional conquest.

Anyways, had a Friday night date lined up with a new one. Profile was promising, and we had a few good conversations during the week. I was actually planning a real date - nice dinner and then drinks at a respectable place with live music. When we finally met I was like mother fricker. "Janet Jackson? More like Freddy Jackson!"

There was no way in hell I was taking this broad out in public. After a few previous online dates that were similar to this, I had came up with a standby plan. I had a friend that owned a hole in the wall dive bar that was on the edge of town. "Freddie" had mentioned during the week that she liked country music, and this place DID have a killer jukebox. Long story short, the running gag was my buddy would crack up cause he knew that everytime I showed up there it was because I was taking evasive action and going incognito.

Since this is already longer than most OT'ers are willing to read, I'll finish up by saying that we ended up hammered back at my place, and I basically cockblocked her attempt at stroking my dong cause she had Seinfeld-esque man hands with psoriasis! The key moment happened as we were standing in my bedroom doorway after groping each other down the hallway. She turned to me all serious and asked, are you sure you want this? I flicked off the light (so she wouldn't see me laugh) and said, oh yeah...

I was on a bumble first date recently that was going very well, the girl was as hot as described and just generally really sweet. About 2 hours in, this girl from across the bar starts staring at me very oddly, not necessarily interested in but more like she recognizes me and can't figure out who I am.

I **allegedly** had drunk made out with her at a bar a few months prior and then never responded to her texts asking me to hang out in the following days. She took the opportunity to tell my date about this whole situation which derailed my chances with girl #1 going forward.

Girl #2 then had the balls the next day to text me and mention how she hoped she blew up my date and told me we should hook up soon.

I fricked her the next weekend.












Just kidding I ignored that text too

Ok, been debating on whether or not I should post this but have decided what the hell; here it goes.
For reference, I am a female and I recognize that this date could go down as a "worst date" for both parties involved. I am more than willing to take responsibility for the fiasco that I about to describe. Ok. Here go's...

Early 90's I was riding on a professional equestrian team in Connecticut. Mr. Mercy and I were in the middle of one our 2,567 break-ups and I accepted a date from an older South American hot-as-hell trainer on our team. Think Det. Rey Curtis from Law and Order. The date consisted of a group going to UCONN to see the Cavedogs. Well, at some point I smoked a little dope. Maybe a little more than a little. After the show we went to a Friendly's where I ate not only clam chowder but a hot fudge sundae. Because clam chowder and ice cream sundaes are like French fries and ketchup.
If any of you have ever driven from Storrs CT to Greenwich CT you know that it's a hilly, twisty, drive.
Not sure if it was food poison, or an unfortunate combination of the chowder and ice cream being churned violently together in that Jeep Wagoneer; but I was sick as a dog for that 2 hour drive back to Greenwich. I think it took us almost three hours to get home for stopping to let me puke on the side of the road. I swear I thought I was going to die. I think I begged to be left on the side of the road to die. I had never been so sick and have never been so sick since.
To this day I don't eat cream based soups or bisques or ice cream.

ETA Hot trainer never asked me out again and he never again worked my horses... wonder why...