Started By
Message

What would you do - encourage your child to have an extravagant wedding or take the money?

Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:48 pm
Posted by SwampyWaters
Member since Apr 2023
1432 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:48 pm
My son is getting married next year and I'm trying to convince he and his fiancee to scale back their wedding and put a large amount of their allotted money in an account that could go towards their first house or some other big purchase. Let me be clear, I absolutely love my soon to be daughter-in-law and I'm just trying to get them off to a solid start financially.

I'm trying to convince them because I remember my wedding day and all the thousands of dollars we spent and it was over so quickly. I remembering thinking, is that it? I wholeheartedly want them to have a beautiful wedding, but I think they can achieve that by having a smaller, more intimate wedding with just close friends and family.

I will support whatever decision they make, but I know if I had to do it over again, I'm taking a lot of the money and using it for something that will benefit me more than just a few hours.
This post was edited on 8/2/23 at 5:50 pm
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
84384 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:49 pm to
Wedding. My wedding was awesome, and I want my kids to get to experience the same.

Ready for the downvotes.
Posted by theantiquetiger
Paid Premium Member Plus
Member since Feb 2005
19368 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:49 pm to
quote:

My son is getting married


That’s the problem, you telling the wrong person.

You need to convince her.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:50 pm to
weddings and funerals are for the attendants not the participants, big weddings/receptions are a huge waste of money
Posted by NIH
Member since Aug 2008
112808 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:50 pm to
What’s your daughter in law look like
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
99452 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:51 pm to
Wedding costs, like everything else, have gotten just utterly stupid the last few years. And it's just one constant one-up contest.

Small wedding and use that money for a down payment on a house or on travel/experience.
Posted by Ingeniero
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2013
18391 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:51 pm to
1. Why are you paying if it's your son getting married?

2. Let them do what they want, which really means what the bride wants, which really means what her mother is forcing her to do because she's living vicariously through her daughter to get the wedding she wanted. It'll be a fun party despite being incredibly stressful and afterwards they'll both tell you if they had to do it again they'd elope and take the money.

Did I miss anything?
Posted by SloaneRanger
Upper Hurstville
Member since Jan 2014
7942 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:51 pm to
Yeah, you don’t need to press this one. A wedding is a huge deal to a girl and her family. Let them have the wedding they want.
Posted by Traveler
I'm not late-I'm early for tomorrow
Member since Sep 2003
24320 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:52 pm to
quote:

You need to convince her.


And her Mother. Good luck with that though.
Posted by YOURADHERE
Member since Dec 2006
8051 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:52 pm to
Who’s paying? If they’re paying your advice is solid. If her parents are paying then probably shouldn’t push the issue too hard.

My wife and I would’ve been fine with a smaller wedding, my in-laws would hear no such thing
Posted by notiger1997
Metairie
Member since May 2009
58315 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:53 pm to
Depends I guess on what you mean by extravagant and where you live as an extension to that question.

I’m going to try to convince my daughter to just do a destination wedding or something with a small group of family.
Last I heard the minimum for a respectable wedding in Nola and this area is around $30k.
Posted by GeauxTigers0107
South Louisiana
Member since Oct 2009
9786 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:53 pm to
I don't think you'll get any. I presume that would be a popular opinion but I see nothing wrong with at least proposing the idea. Weddings these days start at 25k and only go up. I'd be perfectly fine if my daughter wanted to go that route when the time comes. My son would definitely take the money.
Posted by SwampyWaters
Member since Apr 2023
1432 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:53 pm to
I totally understand your stance and I will support whatever decision they make, but weddings are so darn expensive that I just think they could get their marriage off to a good financial start, which is one area young couples struggle at.
Posted by Horsemeat
Truckin' somewhere in the US
Member since Dec 2014
13576 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:53 pm to
Never understood the point of an extravagant wedding aside from attention whoring. Get everything hunky-dory with the church and a solid vacation lined up, everyone who shows up can just go home after the vows IMO. I didn't need some overblown ridiculous reception that last for three hours but will wind up being paid for over the next five years.
This post was edited on 8/2/23 at 5:56 pm
Posted by L Boogie
Texas
Member since Jul 2009
5068 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:54 pm to
My sister and I were gifted the same amount of money many years ago, technically it was a wedding fund, but we were encouraged to use it as we chose.

She chose a big wedding.

I chose to put it towards buying a house with my fiance.

My parents supported each decision.

I don't think it counts as a gift if you dictate how it's supposed to be spent.
Posted by Jobu93
Cypress TX
Member since Sep 2011
19245 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:56 pm to
I remember so little of my wedding/reception. It was such a whirlwind.

I would preach to anyone listening that you have a tiny wedding and a big party at a later date.

No need to spend so many thousands.
Posted by notiger1997
Metairie
Member since May 2009
58315 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 5:57 pm to
quote:

everyone who shows up can just go home after the vows IMO


frick that
Posted by ob1pimpbobi
College Station
Member since Jul 2022
2637 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 6:00 pm to
I have been married twice. First one was a huge extravagant wedding and the marriage lasted 10 years. Second was a more simple wedding with close friends and family. Love of my life and still going strong.

To each his own, but I would at least talk to them about how prices are so jacked up for a wedding and it could be put to use in better places for them.
Posted by Auburn1968
NYC
Member since Mar 2019
19821 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 6:01 pm to
quote:

My son is getting married next year and I'm trying to convince he and his fiancee to scale back their wedding and put a large amount of their allotted money in an account that could go towards their first house or some other big purchase


Wise advice unless it is for a family of great wealth.
Posted by Gings5
HTX
Member since Jul 2016
8363 posts
Posted on 8/2/23 at 6:02 pm to
Take the money.
Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Jump to page
first pageprev pagePage 1 of 7Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookTwitterInstagram