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re: What is an appropriate amount of personal time to spend away from your family

Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:39 am to
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97632 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:39 am to
Yeah I don't even count working out which is probably 15 hrs a week
Posted by Havoc
Member since Nov 2015
28326 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:42 am to
Yeah, in the middle of those two but closer to her dad, at least while kids are young.

Did your dad have that schedule even when you were very young or just when you were older, say Jr. High?
Posted by its1999
Member since Aug 2009
1039 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:43 am to
Mr. 1999 works til pretty late some days, but most weekend time, he spends home with the family. He often does take alone time for a run, reading on our balcony, practicing guitar, etc. Things that toddlers suck at, basically.

I spend most of my time with the kids all week, so I try to have a little alone time as well, either weekday or weekend, whether it's working on a project at the house or getting a pedicure or going to a wives dinner.

We have dinner or get together with other adults about 1x/month, but it's usually a couple with kids our kids' ages, so it's a bonus. We have good conversations and the kids all sleep well that night.

I sometimes encourage my husband to go play a round of golf, but I'd think once or twice a month, max.

Your dad was from an era where kids were women's work, and there hadn't been studies about the psychological benefits of dads spending time with their kids.
Posted by Atom Knab
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2013
361 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:49 am to
The opposite, actually. He had that schedule when I was young and it tailored off when I got into middle school because of travel sports. He wasn't going to miss one of my games for a round of golf.

And I agree that he was probably from a different era, but I never felt unloved or that I missed out on time with my dad. When he was home, he played with us and we had a great relationship. I don't think I missed out on any benefits because my dad was at the golf course.
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128989 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:52 am to
quote:


Man I really feel sorry for some of you frickers


If I caught myself saying that I'd kick my own arse


I'd kick my husband's arse if he said that Only lame, pussy whipped men say that stupid phrase
Posted by LSUfan20005
Member since Sep 2012
8814 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:54 am to
How old are your kids?

Once they get past 7 or so, the weekends are valuable teaching time. Whether it's sports, outdoors, or life lessons, you need to be there. You can always golf with your kids once they are maybe 8 or so. Fish from 3-4yrs, hunt from 4-7yrs.

To answer the question, I'm home by 5:45, spend 85% of the weekend at home or with the family.
Posted by Atom Knab
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2013
361 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:58 am to
One kid, less than a year old.
Posted by Prominentwon
LSU, McNeese St. Fan
Member since Jan 2005
93714 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 6:59 am to
Pretty much sounds like you're going out of.your way to justify your extended time away from your kids.

I try like hell to spend as much time as I can with mine. The wide and I try to have a weekend away with a hotel room at least once every 2 months to get away. Once or twice a year we will leave town for an entire weekend.

Enjoy your kids while you still can.
Posted by gorillacoco
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2009
5318 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:10 am to
I think having a full day away every weekend isn't asking a lot. You should be able to play golf on a regular basis (assuming you get the rest of your shite done like taking care of the yard and helping out around the house). Feeling like you have to spend all your time with your wife/SO is the worst thing in the world.

Some people can live with not having their own life away from their wife/family. But if it bugs you to be home all the time and it bugs her for you to play golf every Saturday you guys need to bring it to a head and come to a mutually agreeable compromise because it's not going to go away.

I'm glad I talked to my (now) wife about it when we started dating. I take care of my shite around the house, but if that's taken care of I need alone time to pursue my own interests.
Posted by Havoc
Member since Nov 2015
28326 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:15 am to
When I was young my dad hunted and fished all the time on the weekends, esp fishing every Saturday from early morning till noon, but I went with him most of the time.

I don't go off that much, just not part of my routine at this point, but when I do it's not an issue. I know some guys with small kids who are off hunting or fishing almost every weekend for most of the weekend and I just scratch my head over that.
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83556 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:15 am to
quote:

My dad is what most would consider a workaholic. He was usually home by 6:30 or so, depending on the day. My dad also played 18 Saturday morning and another 18 Sunday after church. However, during the summer, he would typically play 36 on Saturday and 18 on Sunday.


that seems excessive to me

I always leave at least one day on the weekend (usually Sunday) as a full day with the family

Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
140462 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:17 am to
Depends what your wife looks like
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128989 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:20 am to
quote:

But if it bugs you to be home all the time and it bugs her for you to play golf every Saturday you guys need to bring it to a head and come to a mutually agreeable compromise because it's not going to go away.


I used to get annoyed when my husband would go mountain biking most every Sat or Sunday morning. Then I saw how much less stressed out he was when he was able to go versus when he didn't go riding for a couple months. Finally made me realize how important that was to his well being. Now if I want to do something together on a weekend morning I let him know earlier in the week so he can make arrangements to go riding another time that weekend.
Posted by zeebo
Hammond
Member since Jan 2008
5193 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:21 am to
When kids are young that is your social life. When they hang with their friends not so much.
Posted by Godfather1
What WAS St George, Louisiana
Member since Oct 2006
79663 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:21 am to
"A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."

- Don Vito Corleone
Posted by fishfighter
RIP
Member since Apr 2008
40026 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:22 am to
quote:

I don't play golf but make up for it with fishing and hunting


Take the wife dude. Hey, they do become your best friend over time.
Posted by geauxtigers87
Louisiana
Member since Mar 2011
25194 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:23 am to
Good for you. My wife freaks out if I so much as mention I might go fishing without letting her know 3 weeks in advance with triple forms filled out
Posted by SG_Geaux
Beautiful St George
Member since Aug 2004
77959 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:25 am to
Everyone needs their personal time, but if you make it a point to spend as much time as possible away from your family something is wrong.
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97632 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:27 am to
Zero chance my wife has any interest in either. She has her hobbies and I have mine

Eta: I bring my son
This post was edited on 1/21/16 at 7:30 am
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128989 posts
Posted on 1/21/16 at 7:29 am to
quote:

young that is your social life. When they hang with their friends not so much.


I'm very glad my friends with children don't have your mentality on this.....otherwise I would never see them until their kids are older by your logic. Obviously family always comes first.....but it doesn't mean you can't have balance and still do/enjoy the things that make you happy (away from family)on occasion.
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