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Message
re: Spinoff from Little League Thread -- What's a Good Parenting "Medium"
Posted on 2/16/15 at 10:35 am to LETSGEAUX2
Posted on 2/16/15 at 10:35 am to LETSGEAUX2
My wife and I are always going back and forth on discipline for our son. We rarely agree on itto be honest. But it does happen. My medium is honestly just picking my battles. Currently I only have one 4yr old. He tests his limits, but rarely does he test me. He has been shown what will happen if he doesn't listen to me. I spank him, but I only pop him a couple times on the arse. I never beat him or humiliate him. No matter how much he may humiliate me in certain situations. My wife on the other hand, gets tested all the time, and is constantly in negotiations with him to get him to do stuff.
That is it, though, someone has to be the good cop, and someone has to be the bad cop. Somewhere in between you find that groove where it works. He's a good kid, and I am sure he will be in the future. I am just worried a little about him being soft, but he's only 4, and he's got a lot of growing up to do.
That is it, though, someone has to be the good cop, and someone has to be the bad cop. Somewhere in between you find that groove where it works. He's a good kid, and I am sure he will be in the future. I am just worried a little about him being soft, but he's only 4, and he's got a lot of growing up to do.
1
Posted on 2/16/15 at 10:35 am to Aux Arc
quote:holy shite
spitting on me or their mom is an example
if this happened to me or their Mom, I don't have a contingency for it.
Posted on 2/16/15 at 10:39 am to tigerfoot
quote:
spitting on me or their mom is an example
holy shite
I'm not going to lie. I would lose my **** and it would probably be pretty ugly for my stepson if that occurred.
ETA he's a great kid so I don't see this happening.
This post was edited on 2/16/15 at 10:45 am
Posted on 2/16/15 at 10:43 am to Kracka
quote:he is supposed to be soft at 4, you don't want some little 4 year old hard arse running around.
I am just worried a little about him being soft, but he's only 4, and he's got a lot of growing up to do.
Posted on 2/16/15 at 10:53 am to tigerfoot
quote:
he is supposed to be soft at 4, you don't want some little 4 year old hard arse running around.
Exactly....I am still new at this parenting thing. I have never done or said anything about that though. It's just one of those things that I think about from time to time.
Posted on 2/16/15 at 11:02 am to tigerfoot
quote:
quote:
spitting on me or their mom is an example
holy shite
if this happened to me or their Mom, I don't have a contingency for it.
It happened once at a very young age with each of my kids. Popped them in the mouth (no blood or bruise, just a sharp smack). Never was an issue again.
Before I had kids I saw a 4 year old spit in his mom's face in public. I told myself that was not going to happen with my kids. Ya got ta nip it in the bud.
Posted on 2/16/15 at 11:10 am to LETSGEAUX2
quote:
That thread got me thinking. I can see both sides of the argument but the obvious answer is a happy medium. Do all those things until the game is out of reach. I have a 1 year old boy and another boy due in May. I want them to be well rounded young men. I want them to work hard, win yet show compassion and sportsmanship. Not be a total jackass yet not a pussy.
I want to discipline them but go back and forth on the idea of spanking. I don't want to be barbaric but I'm not going to let them get away with things then sit them down and explain to little Timmy why we don't gouge our brothers eyes out.
I guess my question is, what's a happy medium and how do you achieve that? What are your (parents only) thoughts on discipline and spanking? Is a happy medium grounding them?
I'm honestly asking because I was the most boring kid growing up. I didn't get disciplined because I was respectful, did well in school, and wasn't an a-hole. My dad says I was spanked one time when I was about 5 for being crazy in church and that was it.
"Avoid all extremes" (Proverbs)
if you spank don't do it anger
Make sure you explain why they are being disciplined. and the difference between the child and their behavior...(separate the two)
The time must fit the crime.
Early years =dictatorship to behavior you expect
Teen years = influence to behavior/choices you hope they make
Love unconditionally
Be full of grace
Make sure you and your spouse agree
Posted on 2/16/15 at 11:10 am to LETSGEAUX2
According to the other thread, you need to teach your kids to run the other team into the ground if they get the opportunity, because that'll teach the other team the most important life lesson of all.
Posted on 2/16/15 at 11:16 am to LucasP
The firt 1/2 of your post I was like Lucas has changed and it makes me:
but then I keep reading, and I'm like:
but then I keep reading, and I'm like:
Posted on 2/16/15 at 11:16 am to Green Grass Miracle
quote:
According to the other thread, you need to teach your kids to run the other team into the ground if they get the opportunity, because that'll teach the other team the most important life lesson of all.
These are the same parents that have their kids in travel teams. And also the same parents cursing at coaches, other parents and yes...even players at youth sports events.
Posted on 2/16/15 at 11:40 am to Green Grass Miracle
quote:
According to the other thread, you need to teach your kids to run the other team into the ground if they get the opportunity, because that'll teach the other team the most important life lesson of all.
I think you missed the point being made defending the coach.
There is a lesson for all of us.
Whining isn't one of them
Posted on 2/16/15 at 11:43 am to LETSGEAUX2
Learning etiquette is important. Stealing up 10 runs is a dick move. You arent teaching kids anything by doing that other than how to be a douche.
But taking on a 3-0 count? frick the league. That is Baseball 101.
But taking on a 3-0 count? frick the league. That is Baseball 101.
Posted on 2/16/15 at 11:53 am to Salmon
We didn't spank ours until she was over 2. She started getting defiant and flat out sassy when she started pre-school/daycare. We'll do talking and timeouts but occasionally she'll decide to just bail on timeout and refuse it. That's when the pimp hand hits her on the butt and she gets straight.
Posted on 2/16/15 at 12:38 pm to LucasP
I have a 2yo and a 1yo (both boys). The only time the older one gets spanked is if he's hurting the younger one (who can't defend himself yet). Other than this, pretty much "in the corner" or we take something away.
Well, that's depressing...
quote:
Usually around seven, you'll start to realize that you don't love them as much as you thought and it's easier not to get so worked up about it.
Well, that's depressing...
This post was edited on 2/16/15 at 12:39 pm
Posted on 2/16/15 at 1:02 pm to poochie
quote:
Well, that's depressing...
I guess you could say it's depressing, but it's really just life. We love our kids more than anything until we don't anymore, and then you just kinda move on. You don't stop trying to be a good parent, but it's just not a life-controlling priority anymore.
quote:
I have a 2yo and a 1yo (both boys).
Don't worry, you've still got nearly a half-decade left of really loving your kids. Enjoy.
This post was edited on 2/16/15 at 1:03 pm
Posted on 2/16/15 at 1:04 pm to poochie
quote:
The only time the older one gets spanked...
"Spanking" a 2 yr. old may be a bit harsh by my experience.
Posted on 2/16/15 at 1:06 pm to LETSGEAUX2
i only spank when its really necessary. I havent had to in months for either child. just be firm with them and dont waver. you will probably see that is the best type of parenting.
Posted on 2/16/15 at 1:08 pm to Redbone
I mean a quick slap in the leg, not "turn around any take a beating".
Posted on 2/16/15 at 1:13 pm to tke857
I would think that only children that are low on the intelligence scale need to be spanked. This is likely due to the fact that the parents are low on the intelligence scale themselves and are inclined to spank as a result.
Spanking also reveals all your trump cards. Once your kid has experienced spanking and realizes its not the worst thing then where do you go? I have never spanked my child and I never will... but they don't know that. And we have built it up to be worse than death! The fear of the unknown is extremely powerful.
Outsmarting your kids is much more rewarding than beating up on them.
Spanking also reveals all your trump cards. Once your kid has experienced spanking and realizes its not the worst thing then where do you go? I have never spanked my child and I never will... but they don't know that. And we have built it up to be worse than death! The fear of the unknown is extremely powerful.
Outsmarting your kids is much more rewarding than beating up on them.
This post was edited on 2/16/15 at 1:14 pm
Posted on 2/16/15 at 1:26 pm to TIGRLEE
quote:
I don't understand travel ball. Too time consuming and you'd think kids and parents would get sick of it.
I dont get it either. Alot of parents fail to accept that there kid is just average, even amongst the "elite" that play "travel select" team ball. A kid has to truly standout physically, emotionally and maturity wise in order to justify playing baseball 9 months out of the year. I also disagree with it because you learn more about playing one sport when you attempt to play different sports year round. You grow more as an athlete and a person when you play different types of team and individual sports.
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