re: Parents with prodigal children

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I also agree with those that criticize me for putting info on a public Internet forum. It's pretty pathetic that some people don't have friends or family to confide in and try to get hope that some wayward children turn things around and eventually reconcile with their parents.

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This makes me sad. Just hang in there man.

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In that case, you should be pro-killing-uneducated-parents too. A baby shouldn't be deprived of life because their parents were raised in a shite society created by people like you.

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This is a myopic viewpoint. It's much easier to judge when you were born with all the advantages and intelligence and good parents.

Fact is, most aborted babies are thankful.

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Absolutely, although I got the feeling he was viewing it negatively, like the drug problem.

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Given this line, I certainly took it as yet another thing he felt was an issue...not some struggle he felt bad that she needed to overcome.

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I know that this is a downer first post, but I'm just wondering if other parents have kids who have turned away from them and their values and later turned their lives around and reconciled. Just looking for a spark of hope that things might change.

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I'm going to assume most of us don't have "values" that are about the positives of drug abuse, so I took this as a reference to his displeasure with her sexual orientation.

I have an older sister that was an addict from the time she was a teen...and trust me, her being straight did nothing to help her situation. In fact, it would have likely been a blessing given she was pregnant at 14. Believe me, of all the problems she brought onto herself and my family, who she slept was pretty fricking far down the list of shite that mattered...

ETA to include new post:

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We adopted her at birth. I mentioned the lesbian part because one of her issues is getting involved with other girls with similar issues and when the relationship sours, she relapses or self-harms. In hindsight, I see how that comes across as homophobic since I realize that if the relationships were with screwed up boys, it would end up the same way. My experience has just been with her and girls, so that's why I mentioned it. Her being a lesbian is the least of our family issues.

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Yes...it would be no different. So long as her behavior is like this, she'll find like-minded individuals to hang with. It would be no better, and trust me...could be FAR WORSE, if she was sleeping with tons of guys.

My older brother was the prodigal child. My parents wore themselves out emotionally and financially trying to support him. He barely avoided prison at age 21 and got slapped with probation instead. Got married, had a child, then got divorced, then got another girl pregnant. The whole time my parents are trying to help him and support him from a different state, and have a relationship with him. We knew he was dealing with depression but we didn't try to force ourselves on him. I believe the counselor about the emotional bonding thing, I feel my brother also never emotionally bonded with my parents.

Eventually he fell out with any good friend he had left, was smoking pot all the time. He robbed his employer and ran away. About a month later he committed suicide.

I'm certainly not saying you are wrong for drawing the line. I will say my parents are going to wonder what else they could have done for the rest of their lives. I know I will always feel like I should have reached out. At the end of the day, she has to want to change. My brother wasn't the type to reach out to anyone so he was carried away by his depression. I will say that I don't think he was on hard drugs at any point.

Don't know if any of this helps, but I have been in a similar situation. It hurt me seeing my parents do all they could for him, yet him still refusing to be responsible, and now it hurts knowing how they'll be thinking they could have done more.

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It's pretty pathetic that some people don't have friends or family to confide in and try to get hope that some wayward children turn things around and eventually reconcile with their parents.

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Dude if you want real life support then I'd suggest finding an Al-Anon meeting in your area. They're actually easy to find and can do you some real good.

On the other hand, if you want to seek advice on the internet, I'd suggest trying cocaine. You seem a bit older and wiser so I'm sure you can handle it. And you seem like you have some disposable income. Cocaine is definitely the drug you should try in order to bridge this emotional gap between you and your estranged daughter.

Let's all be thankful for that

do not give her money.

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sorry about your brother man. I think your parents did everything they could. when people are adults they are responsible for their lives. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink if they don't want to.

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Thanks. I really feel for families that go through stuff like this. And my parents do know that he made his own choices, but when it's someone you love so dearly, it's a natural human reaction to feel like you could have done more. Me and my other brothers are sure to remind them often that they are wonderful parents.

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Not commenting on your tangent crusade

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Not a crusade and until he/she addressed it it was clearly an unusual thing to include in a post about drug abuse.

Did you not see the OP address it later, and I edit my post to include the new info?