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Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:32 am to Drury01
Some people read books and work, some people shoot dope and borrow from their enablers.
That's life.
That's life.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:33 am to Drury01
You tell her you love her, but that you will no longer be her ATM. You will support her emotionally and you want to have a relationship with her as long as she maintains her sobriety.
I know several people who were adopted, my mom included. All of them face some sort of abandonment issues. But they did not use that as an excuse to abuse substances. You are not responsible for her addiction. She alone chose drugs and alcohol to cope. Any therapist who tells you otherwise may not be a competent therapist.
If you have issues with her being a lesbian, then those are your issues and not hers.
<---- Not a parent, but I am a therapist by training and education.
I know several people who were adopted, my mom included. All of them face some sort of abandonment issues. But they did not use that as an excuse to abuse substances. You are not responsible for her addiction. She alone chose drugs and alcohol to cope. Any therapist who tells you otherwise may not be a competent therapist.
If you have issues with her being a lesbian, then those are your issues and not hers.
<---- Not a parent, but I am a therapist by training and education.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:34 am to Drury01
My oldest Son is a class A frick up along with his mother(another story for another day)..I know what your going through.. Had to severe ties pretty much b/c I was just used for money and nothing else...
But..To keep yourself sane you have to let them go...I have other children that need me and want to be around me...So for that I had to make a choice ....and trust me it's not an easy one to make.. But as far as a turn around... I can't help b/c my issue is recent..
Hang in there though...
But..To keep yourself sane you have to let them go...I have other children that need me and want to be around me...So for that I had to make a choice ....and trust me it's not an easy one to make.. But as far as a turn around... I can't help b/c my issue is recent..
Hang in there though...
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:34 am to Drury01
I'm not sure why the lesbian part matters, guys can be POSs too.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:34 am to Drury01
Yikes
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:35 am to Drury01
You're absolved....move on
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:35 am to Drury01
quote:
I have a19 year old daughter who has struggled with substance abuse, depression and other issues (abandonment since she was adopted) since she was 14
quote:
she is also a lesbian and keeps getting involved with girls who are also addicts and have emotional issues.
She was molested at 13 - FACT
Birds of a feather....
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:37 am to genro
quote:pathetic
This is why I'm pro choice
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:37 am to TROLA
quote:
adopted = not really your kid
You obviously don't know anyone who has adopted, or has been adopted...
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:39 am to Drury01
at what age did you adopt her?
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:39 am to Osiris
It's called nipping problems in the bud.
Sorry some of us know how to take initiative
Sorry some of us know how to take initiative
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:41 am to Drury01
quote:
Just looking for a spark of hope that things might change.
Cut her off, she hits absolute rock bottom, goes to recovery, then maybe you start to rebuild a relationship.
What age did you adopt her and what age did her parents leave her?
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:43 am to yellowfin
The problem here is that the law does not allow you to write an adopted child out of your will like you can a blood child. Takes away the leverage you have to hold over her head to get her back in line.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:44 am to CaptainsWafer
quote:
I'm not sure why the lesbian part matters, guys can be POSs too.
I imagine the OP meant its just one more challenge the daughter has to go through in life. No matter where your views fall on people being gay, I think we all can admit its a difficult thing for someone to go through.
On top of not being with the parents she's "supposed" to be with, she also isn't attracted to the sex that she's "supposed" to be attracted to.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:47 am to Don Johnson
Absolutely, although I got the feeling he was viewing it negatively, like the drug problem.
Could go either way, I certainly get your point tho.
Answered a few posts down, you were correct.
Could go either way, I certainly get your point tho.
Answered a few posts down, you were correct.
This post was edited on 1/8/15 at 9:49 am
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:47 am to genro
In that case, you should be pro-killing-uneducated-parents too. A baby shouldn't be deprived of life because their parents were raised in a shite society created by people like you.
Pro-choice/Abortion is the coward's way out to avoid fixing what's wrong with themselves and the society surrounding them.
Pro-choice/Abortion is the coward's way out to avoid fixing what's wrong with themselves and the society surrounding them.
This post was edited on 1/8/15 at 9:50 am
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:47 am to Drury01
Got it.
This post was edited on 5/12/18 at 2:33 pm
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:47 am to Shexter
quote:
She was molested at 13 - FACT
Yeah. Almost definitely molested at some point.
We found out a friend of our family was molested by her father from about age 5 to 14. She ran away then because she realized that he was really close to forcing her to have sex with him.
To this day, she HATES men and only dates women.
Posted on 1/8/15 at 9:48 am to Drury01
To address the actual issue, she won't take to treatment unless SHE wants to get better. Until that happens, I don't know what to tell you as I don't have any children.
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