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Started By
Message
re: OT lawyers assemble. Child care question.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:25 pm to IonaTiger
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:25 pm to IonaTiger
quote:
I am very sorry for you and your ex-wife. I tell you this not in my capacity as an attorney, but in my capacity as a Dad:
I recently spent time with my son who just celebrated his 32nd birthday. His Mother and I separated right before his 1st birthday. We had 50/50 custody with him living with her. It was a very ugly divorce and she and I did some nasty stuff to one another. None of the nastiness affected our child. My son never heard me say an ugly word about his Mother and he never heard his Mother say a ugly thing about me. I couldn't ask for a better or more well-adjusted kid. The way his Mother and I handled his upbringing is what I am proudest of in my life.
It's time for you to sit down with your ex-wife or call her and straighten things out for the sake of your daughter. Your ex-wife shouldn't do anything concerning your daughter that she wouldn't want you to do and vice versa. If she can have her SO pick up your daughter, you should be able to do the same.
If the daycare is a problem you should speak with them and advise them that you expect the same courtesies of privacy or disclosure that your ex-wife receives from them. If they will not agree, it's time to change daycare.
Nothing you said in your post would indicate that you are being unreasonable. But as an attorney and as a person who has been divorced, I know that there are always two sides to every story. Take this advice, make things as easy and peaceable as you can with your ex. You can still hate her and she can still hate you, but for the sake of your child you both have to act like grown-ups. I can tell you that my son's Mother and I do not hate one another anymore. We don't socialize, but send holiday and birthday wishes to one another. It has worked out for us, but more important, it has worked out for our son.
Best wishes to you. Keep your daughter's interests paramount.
There you go OP.
0
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:27 pm to A_bear
Nm
Hope you did better with your SO now
Hope you did better with your SO now
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:31 pm to A_bear
Pull your daughter out. She is too young and as her father you need peace of mind. Sounds like your ex Is a crazy bitch.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:34 pm to Festus
quote:
It's possible when mature parents put the children before their egos and emotions.
This is such bullshite. If everyone was the same then there would be no problems on earth. Some people are not well adjusted and it has nothing to do with ego or emotions.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:35 pm to A_bear
quote:
She ugly. And got a muffintop
So, this is you being mature?
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:37 pm to NoHoTiger
That's me being honest.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:37 pm to LaBornNRaised
A-bear,
You can't control what your ex does. Stuff
Iike this is going to happen throughout your kid's life. You chose to have a child w/ this woman. Pulling your kid out is selfish & immature. Try talking to your ex. If u can't, oh well. Worry about what you are doing on your end. I bet her b/f drives your kid around all the time. It sucks; I get it.
You can't control what your ex does. Stuff
Iike this is going to happen throughout your kid's life. You chose to have a child w/ this woman. Pulling your kid out is selfish & immature. Try talking to your ex. If u can't, oh well. Worry about what you are doing on your end. I bet her b/f drives your kid around all the time. It sucks; I get it.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:01 pm to Happy_wife85
I just tried talking to her about it like a mature adult. She tells me "I'm busy doing homework I can't talk". That's the maturity level of this broad. And it honestly doesn't bother me that he drives her around. I trust him, he's a good guy. The thing that bothers me is her acting immature when I do something that she does. She shouldn't do something and then get mad if I make the same decision. And the daycare shouldn't give her her way and keep that info from me but then tell her about the updated pick up list when I add to it.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:12 pm to A_bear
Stop paying
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:14 pm to ELVIS U
That's a bad idea. I'll be taken to jail.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:16 pm to A_bear
We all have people in our lives who do shite they shouldn't do. Focus on yourself. You'll go crazy thinking of all the things she should & shouldn't be doing.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:41 pm to A_bear
Put your lady friend back on the pickup list. Report back with their response.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:44 pm to A_bear
quote:
co-domiciliary parents since we have 50/50 custody
You Most certainly can pull the child from the day care. Probably should Simply refuse to pay for it unless she wants to agree on a new place or have your gf put back on.
Co domicillary is not stated in the judgement? You're just implying it by custody? Not the same. If true co-dom you can do what I mentioned.
This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 8:46 pm
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:47 pm to mikelbr
I'm sorry, it says "neither parent is designated as the domiciliary parent". That's straight from my court papers. I just pulled the file.
This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 8:52 pm
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:50 pm to A_bear
quote:
I just tried talking to her about it like a mature adult. She tells me "I'm busy doing homework I can't talk". That's the maturity level of this broad. And it honestly doesn't bother me that he drives her around. I trust him, he's a good guy. The thing that bothers me is her acting immature when I do something that she does. She shouldn't do something and then get mad if I make the same decision. And the daycare shouldn't give her her way and keep that info from me but then tell her about the updated pick up list when I add to it.
Not a lawyer, but if I was in your position, I'd be doing everything possible to get this fixed and you need to put it in writing that you are not okay with a non-family member picking up your child when you do not know that person.
You shouldn't have put your own g/f on the list honestly. That gives the ex an upper hand.
The courts would side with you. This boyfriend may be a decent guy, but you don't know who it could be next time.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:51 pm to A_bear
quote:
We are co-domiciliary for a fact. I made sure she didn't have any power over decision making.
You can put in the paperwork but it doesn't exist in the code, in reality there is no domiciliary parent.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:53 pm to A_bear
Go to a different daycare
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:55 pm to fr33manator
quote:
Go to a different daycare
This as well.
"Hey (Daycare Worker), I was just checking up on my son. How's he doing today?"
"Oh he left a few hours ago with Mark."
"What? Who is Mark?"
"He's on the list to pick up your son. He got him around noon."
"Who the frick is Mark?"
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:58 pm to mikelbr
I just looked through the papers and in the papers it says "responsible third persons may provide transportation for either parent if they are unable to do so themselves". So pretty much I can put my gf back on the list and since she signed the papers she can't do anything about it. Am I right?
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:59 pm to fr33manator
quote:
Go to a different daycare
Good point.
OP: I'm taking the kid do a different daycare.
Ex: OK
Problem solved.
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