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re: OT lawyers assemble. Child care question.

Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:25 pm to
Posted by tigerpimpbot
Chairman of the Pool Board
Member since Nov 2011
67031 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:25 pm to
quote:

I am very sorry for you and your ex-wife. I tell you this not in my capacity as an attorney, but in my capacity as a Dad:

I recently spent time with my son who just celebrated his 32nd birthday. His Mother and I separated right before his 1st birthday. We had 50/50 custody with him living with her. It was a very ugly divorce and she and I did some nasty stuff to one another. None of the nastiness affected our child. My son never heard me say an ugly word about his Mother and he never heard his Mother say a ugly thing about me. I couldn't ask for a better or more well-adjusted kid. The way his Mother and I handled his upbringing is what I am proudest of in my life.

It's time for you to sit down with your ex-wife or call her and straighten things out for the sake of your daughter. Your ex-wife shouldn't do anything concerning your daughter that she wouldn't want you to do and vice versa. If she can have her SO pick up your daughter, you should be able to do the same.

If the daycare is a problem you should speak with them and advise them that you expect the same courtesies of privacy or disclosure that your ex-wife receives from them. If they will not agree, it's time to change daycare.

Nothing you said in your post would indicate that you are being unreasonable. But as an attorney and as a person who has been divorced, I know that there are always two sides to every story. Take this advice, make things as easy and peaceable as you can with your ex. You can still hate her and she can still hate you, but for the sake of your child you both have to act like grown-ups. I can tell you that my son's Mother and I do not hate one another anymore. We don't socialize, but send holiday and birthday wishes to one another. It has worked out for us, but more important, it has worked out for our son.

Best wishes to you. Keep your daughter's interests paramount.



There you go OP.
Posted by BuddyLAM
New Orleans
Member since May 2013
2633 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:27 pm to
Nm

Hope you did better with your SO now
Posted by LaBornNRaised
Loomis blows
Member since Feb 2011
11004 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:31 pm to
Pull your daughter out. She is too young and as her father you need peace of mind. Sounds like your ex Is a crazy bitch.
Posted by LaBornNRaised
Loomis blows
Member since Feb 2011
11004 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:34 pm to
quote:

It's possible when mature parents put the children before their egos and emotions. 



This is such bullshite. If everyone was the same then there would be no problems on earth. Some people are not well adjusted and it has nothing to do with ego or emotions.


Posted by NoHoTiger
So many to kill, so little time
Member since Nov 2006
45748 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:35 pm to
quote:

She ugly. And got a muffintop

So, this is you being mature?
Posted by A_bear
baton rouge
Member since Sep 2013
1976 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:37 pm to
That's me being honest.
Posted by Happy_wife85
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2012
127 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:37 pm to
A-bear,

You can't control what your ex does. Stuff
Iike this is going to happen throughout your kid's life. You chose to have a child w/ this woman. Pulling your kid out is selfish & immature. Try talking to your ex. If u can't, oh well. Worry about what you are doing on your end. I bet her b/f drives your kid around all the time. It sucks; I get it.
Posted by A_bear
baton rouge
Member since Sep 2013
1976 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:01 pm to
I just tried talking to her about it like a mature adult. She tells me "I'm busy doing homework I can't talk". That's the maturity level of this broad. And it honestly doesn't bother me that he drives her around. I trust him, he's a good guy. The thing that bothers me is her acting immature when I do something that she does. She shouldn't do something and then get mad if I make the same decision. And the daycare shouldn't give her her way and keep that info from me but then tell her about the updated pick up list when I add to it.
Posted by ELVIS U
Member since Feb 2007
9942 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:12 pm to
Stop paying
Posted by A_bear
baton rouge
Member since Sep 2013
1976 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:14 pm to
That's a bad idea. I'll be taken to jail.
Posted by Happy_wife85
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2012
127 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:16 pm to
We all have people in our lives who do shite they shouldn't do. Focus on yourself. You'll go crazy thinking of all the things she should & shouldn't be doing.
Posted by LT
The City of St. George
Member since May 2008
5151 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:41 pm to
Put your lady friend back on the pickup list. Report back with their response.
Posted by mikelbr
Baton Rouge
Member since Apr 2008
47540 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:44 pm to
quote:

co-domiciliary parents since we have 50/50 custody

You Most certainly can pull the child from the day care. Probably should Simply refuse to pay for it unless she wants to agree on a new place or have your gf put back on.
Co domicillary is not stated in the judgement? You're just implying it by custody? Not the same. If true co-dom you can do what I mentioned.
This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 8:46 pm
Posted by A_bear
baton rouge
Member since Sep 2013
1976 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:47 pm to
I'm sorry, it says "neither parent is designated as the domiciliary parent". That's straight from my court papers. I just pulled the file.
This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 8:52 pm
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
18476 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:50 pm to
quote:

I just tried talking to her about it like a mature adult. She tells me "I'm busy doing homework I can't talk". That's the maturity level of this broad. And it honestly doesn't bother me that he drives her around. I trust him, he's a good guy. The thing that bothers me is her acting immature when I do something that she does. She shouldn't do something and then get mad if I make the same decision. And the daycare shouldn't give her her way and keep that info from me but then tell her about the updated pick up list when I add to it.


Not a lawyer, but if I was in your position, I'd be doing everything possible to get this fixed and you need to put it in writing that you are not okay with a non-family member picking up your child when you do not know that person.

You shouldn't have put your own g/f on the list honestly. That gives the ex an upper hand.

The courts would side with you. This boyfriend may be a decent guy, but you don't know who it could be next time.
Posted by Dizz
Member since May 2008
14783 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:51 pm to
quote:

We are co-domiciliary for a fact. I made sure she didn't have any power over decision making.


You can put in the paperwork but it doesn't exist in the code, in reality there is no domiciliary parent.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124615 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:53 pm to
Go to a different daycare
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
18476 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:55 pm to
quote:

Go to a different daycare



This as well.

"Hey (Daycare Worker), I was just checking up on my son. How's he doing today?"

"Oh he left a few hours ago with Mark."

"What? Who is Mark?"

"He's on the list to pick up your son. He got him around noon."

"Who the frick is Mark?"
Posted by A_bear
baton rouge
Member since Sep 2013
1976 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:58 pm to
I just looked through the papers and in the papers it says "responsible third persons may provide transportation for either parent if they are unable to do so themselves". So pretty much I can put my gf back on the list and since she signed the papers she can't do anything about it. Am I right?
Posted by Festus
With Skillet
Member since Nov 2009
85046 posts
Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:59 pm to
quote:

Go to a different daycare

Good point.

OP: I'm taking the kid do a different daycare.

Ex: OK

Problem solved.
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