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Posted on 10/13/17 at 2:42 pm to 777Tiger
Went to meet a woman in Jackson, Mississippi. She was a beautician. After dinner, we went back to her place. She went in the bathroom to shower and when she emerged, I didn't even recognize her anymore after she washed off the make up and hair spray. When I was pouring the coals to her, I licked her nipples which were like licking baseball glove leather. After a while, I noticed a metallic smell and she started her period mid act. Needless to say, I didn't see any need for a 2nd date.
Posted on 10/13/17 at 2:43 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
> swiping
> whatever I'll frick a blue hair
> get two blue hairs
> wow they even have dyed pubes
> they are friends
> see both at a social function
> i am a Nazi
> whatever I'll frick a blue hair
> get two blue hairs
> wow they even have dyed pubes
> they are friends
> see both at a social function
> i am a Nazi
Posted on 10/13/17 at 2:44 pm to eScott
quote:
I went out with her last weekend, she's a real freak in the sack
Posted on 10/13/17 at 2:48 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Online dating sucks until you figure out the game and settle on a good strategy. I'm lucky in that I never had to mess with meeting chicks online. I say "lucky" but I have some friends that are killing it with Tinder/Bumble/etc. Seems fun but also a crapshoot.
I had a terrible/awkward experience during school when I was set up on a date by some friends with a cute hipster chick. I was wearing khaki pants and sport shirt and she showed up dressed like a Native American Indian with a purse she made herself out of twine. We ordered beers and then she started talking about how she no longer believes in God because of natural disasters. I lasted like 30 minutes and then just came out and told her how awkward it was. Then we both agreed to part ways.
I had a terrible/awkward experience during school when I was set up on a date by some friends with a cute hipster chick. I was wearing khaki pants and sport shirt and she showed up dressed like a Native American Indian with a purse she made herself out of twine. We ordered beers and then she started talking about how she no longer believes in God because of natural disasters. I lasted like 30 minutes and then just came out and told her how awkward it was. Then we both agreed to part ways.
This post was edited on 10/13/17 at 3:10 pm
Posted on 10/13/17 at 2:55 pm to Riseupfromtherubble
quote:
I was just messing with you.
Posted on 10/13/17 at 3:04 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Where's Nurse? She had a couple of doozies from her online dating days.
Posted on 10/13/17 at 3:05 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Back in the early days of the internet before dating sites were a thing, there was a chat site called Freetown. This would have been in early 1998. I met this random Australian girl and we began talking on the site on a regular basis, and later on ICQ and *gasp* even mailed letters. She wanted me to come to Oz to meet here, and I figured what the hell...she may turn out to be an axe murderer but I have an excuse to visit someplace cool. So I went for three weeks at Christmas/New Years 98/99. The first movie we saw together was "You've Got Mail." She ended up visiting me in April 1999 and we got married in June 1999 and here we are eighteen years and three kids later still happily married.
So no, no horror stories.
So no, no horror stories.
This post was edited on 10/13/17 at 3:06 pm
Posted on 10/13/17 at 3:07 pm to tke857
quote:
chick was addicted to sex. nearly fricked my dick off. was raw for a few weeks. used me like a piece of meat.
That's common among chicks who use to be a dude.
Posted on 10/13/17 at 3:12 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
quote:I just hooked up with fat chicks because they have low self esteem and would always go the extra mile
Online Dating horror stories
Posted on 10/13/17 at 11:22 pm to LewDawg
I met one woman who was introduced to me online. She phoned me and sounded intelligent and personable, but did not tell me much about herself. A couple days later I asked her out to dinner. We had a mutual acquaintance who told her that I was not an ax murderer, but of whom I had not inquired about her. But I figured I could tolerate anyone intelligent for the duration of a meal. Essentially a blind date. For safety reasons she was to meet me at the restaurant.
When I drove up to the location there was a parking valet, and getting out of the car immediately ahead of me was a young woman wearing the outfit she had described in order for me to identify her. I couldn't get out of my car fast enough. She was a former "Most Photogenic" Miss USA contestant. Talent (in every sense of the word) like none of you have ever witnessed. Six months later we were married.
When I drove up to the location there was a parking valet, and getting out of the car immediately ahead of me was a young woman wearing the outfit she had described in order for me to identify her. I couldn't get out of my car fast enough. She was a former "Most Photogenic" Miss USA contestant. Talent (in every sense of the word) like none of you have ever witnessed. Six months later we were married.
Posted on 10/13/17 at 11:32 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
Not much luck
I finally just deleted the app. I've swiped right on probably 2000 chicks and only matched with 4. One chick I messaged told me she swiped right by mistake and to leave her alone. Pretty depressing when I think about it.
I finally just deleted the app. I've swiped right on probably 2000 chicks and only matched with 4. One chick I messaged told me she swiped right by mistake and to leave her alone. Pretty depressing when I think about it.
Posted on 10/13/17 at 11:38 pm to Walt OReilly
LOL
Posted on 10/13/17 at 11:38 pm to Walt OReilly
It's usually been women that were 50+ lbs bigger then their photos. One was easily 100+ bigger, and even sent nudes before we met.
Worst was a chick that had spent the day moving into a new place. She persisted that we still meet up, and if I liked her then, than we'd get along great. Turned out she was maniac as hell. She spent an entire hour having a conversation with the female bartender. To the point I felt like a third wheel. I got the hell out of there.
Mostly, they've just turned out to be one night stands, or late night booty calls.
Worst was a chick that had spent the day moving into a new place. She persisted that we still meet up, and if I liked her then, than we'd get along great. Turned out she was maniac as hell. She spent an entire hour having a conversation with the female bartender. To the point I felt like a third wheel. I got the hell out of there.
Mostly, they've just turned out to be one night stands, or late night booty calls.
Posted on 10/13/17 at 11:53 pm to CCTider
Met a OT 6 I thought from her pic. I pick her up IRL OT6-2=OT 4. I was like frick it let's go eat. We get to the restaurant then she starts telling me about her gastric bypass surgery, she isn't divorced from her husband yet and that her teenage son hates her. After appetizers I said check please and dropped her off. True story.
Posted on 10/13/17 at 11:53 pm to PhantomMenace
quote:
I met one woman who was introduced to me online. She phoned me and sounded intelligent and personable, but did not tell me much about herself. A couple days later I asked her out to dinner. We had a mutual acquaintance who told her that I was not an ax murderer, but of whom I had not inquired about her. But I figured I could tolerate anyone intelligent for the duration of a meal. Essentially a blind date. For safety reasons she was to meet me at the restaurant.
When I drove up to the location there was a parking valet, and getting out of the car immediately ahead of me was a young woman wearing the outfit she had described in order for me to identify her. I couldn't get out of my car fast enough. She was a former "Most Photogenic" Miss USA contestant. Talent (in every sense of the word) like none of you have ever witnessed. Six months later we were married.
She was probably a couple of lbs overweight, but overall not unattractive. You ended up marrying her, great, but you don't have to make up some fantasy story
Posted on 10/14/17 at 12:21 am to boosiebadazz
quote:care to share a few pointers on how to get this done?
I met a girl in the Late Night Snack Thread and like totally boinked her, dude
Posted on 10/14/17 at 12:47 am to Hawgnsincebirth55
Met a girl on match and like you said, she was quite a bit bigger than her Pics. We had sushi and afterwards I asked if she wanted to go get a few drinks somewhere (cause I was gonna need them). She declined and asked if we could go get ice cream instead. Told her I didn't eat ice cream and GTFO. She text me several times after that but I never replied.
This post was edited on 10/14/17 at 12:48 am
Posted on 10/14/17 at 1:12 am to BigDroop
quote:
I asked her if she wanted to get drunk and frick, she said she’d rather get fatter. I declined further interaction.
That’s what I read.
Posted on 10/14/17 at 1:26 am to TigerStripes06
Very good summation sir!
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