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re: Need advice from fathers of older sons

Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:21 pm to
Posted by oldcharlie8
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2012
7806 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:21 pm to
I work 14/14. My son is seventeen and I missed half of his life. I father's job is to be a provider. They'll appreciate it more when they're old enough to realize the sacrifices that were made.
Posted by trillhog
Elite Membership
Member since Jul 2011
19407 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:23 pm to
I guess you either have that in your family or you don't, the work ethic, this world is full of winners and losers. You show your kids you are watching them and love them it'll work out.
This post was edited on 6/24/14 at 2:25 pm
Posted by htownjeep
Republic of Texas
Member since Jun 2005
7612 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:24 pm to
OP, look at this that was just posted.

Not a father, but a young woman who had a 5 yr old. Life can be changed/ended in the blink of an eye. Don't ever plan on having extra time in the future.
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97635 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:26 pm to
quote:

I remember this pastor who spent a lot of times at hospitals with families when the fathers were on their dying beds. He told me that he had never once been with children with their father that were crying and telling their father they wished he had earned more money, bought them nicer things, had a bigger home, etc. They always talked about the time they spent together. I always think about that.


Yup

Nobody ever regrets not working enough
Posted by Grit-Eating Shin
You're an Idiot
Member since May 2013
8433 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:26 pm to
quote:

Don't ever plan on having extra time in the future.
Advice to live by!
Posted by Festus
With Skillet
Member since Nov 2009
85011 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:29 pm to
quote:

I father's job is to be a provider.

A father's job is way more than just that.
Posted by BayouNation
Member since Sep 2008
2009 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:32 pm to
quote:

I father's job is to be a provider.


Nope, it's only part of that.
Posted by Gtothemoney
Da North Shore
Member since Sep 2012
17715 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:34 pm to
quote:

A fathers job is to be a provider

But
quote:

My son is 17 and I missed half his life


You haven't provided shite bra.
This post was edited on 6/24/14 at 2:35 pm
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:35 pm to
quote:

no. He is 4. he has no clue as to what his father is trying to do or the obligations his father has. he is speaking from the perspective of a four year old.

to the OP, I think you can only do what you can. spend as much time with him as possible. He'll understand as he gets older.


this, my Dad worked his arse off, starting with nothing, and building up a pretty successful company, he made sure to make time for the family, and it was quality time,he did miss a lot of things that kids today would whine about, ex. ball games, and other activities during the week, but I never felt slighted, and he was always there if I needed to talk to him, it's asinine to conduct your family/financial strategy in accordance to the whims of a four year old
Posted by Darla Hood
Near that place by that other place
Member since Aug 2012
13934 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:43 pm to
I'm pretty sure no one is saying to give in to the "whims" of a four year old child. Those of you who quoted my "He's telling you what to do," and followed it with something asinine ... are asinine. And too fricking literal.
Posted by dsloane
Mt. Juliet, TN
Member since Jul 2004
280 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:48 pm to
Bring your work home if you can. I'm usually home by 6. Spend as much time with my kids (one of which is a 4 yr. old boy) and then spend a few hours on the computer after everyone is asleep. Take one day a week to leave at 5 and coach his soccer team.
I don't feel the need to change my routine. He complains from time to time, especially when I travel, but he and his sister are expensive. Plus, if dads on here want to talk about the lasting effects, how about that he understands the value of hard work.
Posted by JPLIII
Broussard - terd supporter
Member since Jan 2008
22630 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:53 pm to
I have 4 yr old son and I love spending time with him and watching him learn and do new things. I am fortunate to not have to work crazy hours and am able to make his events and games. Just from my own experience, I would say that this is an awesome time in your child's life....one that you would be doing yourself, and him, a disservice to miss. That doesn't mean you quit work, but if I was you and had the choice, I'd balance my time as best as possible to spend time with him.

Also, I highly doubt the comment about 4 yr olds not remembering being accurate.
Posted by ISmellMischief
Jodie's House
Member since Jan 2013
897 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:56 pm to
yes there is such a thing as to much work but he needs to learn good work ethics. most of the younger guys we hire have no work ethics or dedication to work.

and make the most of your time. if you don't have quantity give quality
Posted by lsuwontonwrap
Member since Aug 2012
34147 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 2:59 pm to
Does he play video games? Tell him that shite doesn't pay for itself.
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97635 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 3:01 pm to
If I have extra work to do I go early in the morning while they're sleeping.

quote:

Take one day a week to leave at 5


If I'm still in the office at 5 something is wrong
Posted by piratedude
baton rouge
Member since Oct 2009
2501 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 3:08 pm to
quote:

I work 14/14. My son is seventeen and I missed half of his life. I father's job is to be a provider. They'll appreciate it more when they're old enough to realize the sacrifices that were made.


my father was a minister. i'm 61, he's 91 and i still don't appreciate him leaving the table in the middle of thanksgiving dinner to go to the hospital to be with the dead ex-husband of a woman whose mother used to go to my dad's church. yes, it happened. i wish he had sacrificed his standing in church member's eyes to spend time with his kids and grandkids.

Sacrifice money, not time with your kid.
Posted by trillhog
Elite Membership
Member since Jul 2011
19407 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 3:14 pm to
kids these days don't even play to win, they get "participation" tropheys and now they have to play with their dad all the time? wtf, this country is going to shite.
Posted by JPLIII
Broussard - terd supporter
Member since Jan 2008
22630 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 3:16 pm to
quote:

If I'm still in the office at 5 something is wrong


this
Posted by Clark W Griswold
THE USA
Member since Sep 2012
10509 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 3:18 pm to
Nobody ever said they wished they would have worked more before they died. My grandpa had to work a ton just to feed his family and maybe take a vacation every few years. He told me he wish he had more time off just to enjoy his family at home. He missed meals, games, plays, etc to work as a necessity. But if you aren't about to go broke and you have young kids, you shouldn't ever work too much. I work no more than 40 hours a week and I tell my boss I pick up my kids every day. It has never affected me on promotions or raises and the people above me with families actually respect it more. Your family will be there long after your job ends. I wouldn't die for my company but I would for my family. There is no reason I should ever work late to sacrifice the time I get with them. People who do either hate their life or only value money.
Posted by VABuckeye
Naples, FL
Member since Dec 2007
35536 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 3:20 pm to
quote:

How did you handle it? Did you cut back at work?


My dad was never around when I was growing up. He worked the night shift and I hardly saw him.

I made damned sure that I was around for my kids and never missed any of their stuff. They're now 24 and 20 and I could not be happier with the relationship I have with them.

You can never, ever make up for lost time.
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