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re: Need advice from fathers of older sons

Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:17 pm to
Posted by WFTiger
The Country
Member since Jan 2014
128 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:17 pm to
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Ever seen a 4 yr old sobbing at his father's funeral? I have, and it was one of worse things I've experienced. You can never spend enough time with your kids, nor tell them you love them enough times. If you have to work extra to pay the bills and keep a roof over their head, then yes, you do what you have to do. Otherwise, you can't buy back time with the money you make.
Posted by Bussemer
Heading South
Member since Dec 2007
2521 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:18 pm to
4 year olds are dicks. Mine gives me shite every time I go to the camp and don't take him.

Just joking, but my solution with your same problem was to leave early (they wake up after I leave anyway) and be home every day around 5.
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
146214 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:18 pm to
quote:

I leave the house at 7:30am and get home at 6-630 on regular days.



what do you do on weekends?

Once he gets older and gets into sports, you'll be getting home with him at 830-900 from baseball/basketball/soccer or whatever. Quality time right there.

He's only 4, I wouldn't sweat it too much. Just be a good role model and make sure you kiss him once in the morning, when you get home from work and before he goes to bed. You can never tell him enough how much you love him.
Posted by CajunAlum Tiger Fan
The Great State of Louisiana
Member since Jan 2008
7873 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:23 pm to
When you're old and on your death bed, none of your kids are going to be thinking about you sending them to college or the cool stuff you bought them. They will be thinking back to memories of good times spent together. Honor your commitments as a provider for your family, but spend your life creating those memories and you will have no regrets.
Posted by SthGADawg
Member since Nov 2007
7035 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:23 pm to
ever hear that trace adkins song..."you're gonna miss this"?


listen to that song and then come back and tell us what you decided...nobody lays on their deathbed and wishes they had made more money...but they do say they wish they had spent more time with those that are most important...

i have a plaque on my desk that says...

"never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life"
This post was edited on 6/24/14 at 1:25 pm
Posted by piratedude
baton rouge
Member since Oct 2009
2501 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:24 pm to
there is nothing you can give a child that is more valuable than yourself.

For my SO's 60th, her kids put together an audio track with each doing a voice-overs that said: "what i remember." None listed nice house, nice clothes, cars, cool toys, etc. one said "drove me to music lesson; high school,every concert; college, every concert; grad school, every concert; teaching, every concert; playing with xxx, you showing up all over the country; playing with yyy, you showing up all over the country"

another said "every baseball game, every practice; you coming to bar gigs, outdoor gigs, ampitheater gigs, shite gigs, gigs, gigs and more gigs, you were there."

the last one said "band trips, sleepovers, going to the beach,etc, you were there.

all three are productive independent self-sufficient members of society. There was no college fund, they paid their own ways. they did get the use of a POS car in high school that was handed down until it quit. the next car was on them.

invest yourself in what is important.
Posted by GeauxTigerTM
Member since Sep 2006
30596 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:27 pm to
quote:

How did you handle it?


LINK

You never ever get this time back... Mine are now almost 12 and 7, it was practically yesterday they were in diapers.
Posted by Nado Jenkins83
Land of the Free
Member since Nov 2012
59650 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:29 pm to
make him dig a ditch or something. he will be mad at your for a new reason and hope you work more.
Posted by RedRifle
Austin/NO
Member since Dec 2013
8328 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:34 pm to
I know I know. Days like today when I read that thread I wonder why are we so obsessed with making big bonuses at the end of the quarter? Or landing that big client so next year's family vacation is at the Westin in St. John instead of Orange Beach. Or that my wife HAS drives a LR4 HSE instead of just a Hyundai Santa Fe. I can understand education, I won't comprise on that and Newman isn't cheap but it's all about more, more, more.
Posted by TypoKnig
Member since Aug 2011
8928 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:35 pm to
quote:

I know I know. Days like today when I read that thread I wonder why are we so obsessed with making big bonuses at the end of the quarter? Or landing that big client so next year's family vacation is at the Westin in St. John instead of Orange Beach. Or that my wife HAS drives a LR4 HSE instead of just a Hyundai Santa Fe. I can understand education, I won't comprise on that and Newman isn't cheap but it's all about more, more, more.


Subtle brag thread just became not so subtle.
Posted by Open Dore Policy
The Commodore State
Member since Oct 2012
4472 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:36 pm to
quote:

I leave the house at 7:30am and get home at 6-630 on regular days.


My work days I leave at 7:30am and get home usually around 10-10:30pm. My 6 year old stepdaughter and also 4 year old stepson say the same things to me sometimes. My 1 year old daughter clings on to me whenever she gets the chance also.

It sucks. There's no dout about it. At least I get weekends. And my children hopefully will see how hard I'm working to try and provide for them and this stage in our lives.
Posted by SthGADawg
Member since Nov 2007
7035 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:42 pm to
quote:

My work days I leave at 7:30am and get home usually around 10-10:30pm



you need a new gig bro
Posted by Open Dore Policy
The Commodore State
Member since Oct 2012
4472 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:46 pm to
quote:

you need a new gig bro


2 jobs.

poors.

Plus Vandy could very well win their first major national championship tonight, and where will I be?

Work.
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
146214 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:48 pm to
quote:

I know I know. Days like today when I read that thread I wonder why are we so obsessed with making big bonuses at the end of the quarter? Or landing that big client so next year's family vacation is at the Westin in St. John instead of Orange Beach. Or that my wife HAS drives a LR4 HSE instead of just a Hyundai Santa Fe. I can understand education, I won't comprise on that and Newman isn't cheap but it's all about more, more, more.




bro, you better keep working. I know Newman is $22k a year, those vacations are $10k a pop...and if you live uptown your house note is $3000+/ month.
Posted by CurDog
Member since Jan 2007
28082 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:48 pm to
my son is 12 and he loves that i am home every night(i stopped working shift work a little over a year ago)

my two year loves it even more. i am the only she allows to put her to bed at night
Posted by Willie Stroker
Member since Sep 2008
12881 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:49 pm to
quote:

I leave the house at 7:30am and get home at 6-630 on regular days.


This is not bad. I leave an hour earlier and often get home around 7. It's not about the time you're not there, it's the time you make to spend with him. Give him something predictable that he can count on.

The one thing my youngest son now looks forward to more than anything is Donuts With Dad every Saturday morning. We've been doing it for over 10 straight years since he was 3 or 4. We take turns choosing the music and tell each other everything on each other's minds. We get the same donuts every time but occasionally try new donut places. It evolved into ending the trip with the same song he chose timed to end the moment we pull into the garage.

Whatever happens to me, I know he will always associate Saturday mornings with me and that song will always trigger his favorite memory.
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97635 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:51 pm to
quote:

My work days I leave at 7:30am and get home usually around 10-10:30pm.


I just don't like money enough to work like that
Posted by rebeloke
Member since Nov 2012
16095 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:51 pm to
Kids need undivided attention. If you give your son 1 hour of time a day or less that would be fine if it is quality time.
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
146214 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:52 pm to
quote:

rebeloke



I hope to God you haven't reproduced

Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
One State Solution
Member since May 2012
55606 posts
Posted on 6/24/14 at 1:54 pm to
I've worked plenty of 55-60 hour weeks and one recently that was about 75 hrs.

frick that. Good motivation for school and not being a poor.
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