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re: Long Term Relationships ?

Posted on 4/22/14 at 10:35 am to
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42465 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 10:35 am to
quote:

Yeah im over it, she has pulled this a couple times for absolutely no reason and I always chase after her and make her hang around. In the end, I dont deserve to be treated like when it is convenient for her. Im letting her walk, and will make no attempt at further communication.


Like a boss.
Posted by RebelNutt
God's Country
Member since Dec 2007
6478 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 10:38 am to
quote:

Like a boss.


Its hard though, definitely. You have to overhaul the way you go about your day, thats the worst part. The idle times is what will eat at you.
Posted by rbWarEagle
Member since Nov 2009
49999 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 11:17 am to
I "pulled the plug" on probably the best relationship I've ever had about 6-8 months ago. I think we were heading in different directions and I always found myself in sketchy situations with other females. I just decided to end it before I made a really bad decision and, even though it was awful, I think it was for the best.
Posted by Dam Guide
Member since Sep 2005
15503 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 11:31 am to
quote:

If it was a short term relationship, I'd agree. It's much tougher when you've been with someone for a long arse time.


It's still about decision making, a type A personality will make the decision and deal with the consequences. Type B will be more likely to hold off and sit around and stew about it/make threads asking the OTs advice and so on.
This post was edited on 4/22/14 at 11:32 am
Posted by Hammertime
Will trade dowsing rod for titties
Member since Jan 2012
43030 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 11:50 am to
I've never been broken up with. There is just one moment where I think, "Okay, I'm good", and break up with the girl within the day. I get bored after a while too, and break it off after that

Posted by damnedoldtigah
Middle of Louisiana
Member since Jan 2014
4275 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 11:58 am to
I am about to pull the plug on a relationship. Girl is too whiny and clingy - not behaviors I would expect for someone her age. She has a veiled resentment of my education (graduate degree plus completed doctoral work - dissertation pending). While she is educated, she seems overly simplified. She just wants "love" and nothing else. Last week I was pissed over the outcome of a court case and she heard a bit of my ranting. Her response was "would it have gone better if I had been there to just love you?". I indicated that such a musing was meaningless in the context of what happened. I don't like to lose. When I do, I want to remember what it feels like as that motivates me to go back and do everything I can to win. In this case, a motion for reconsideration has been filed and granted. When I go into a courtroom, I consider it to be war and I am going to do what I can to win.

She has fundamentalist views on religion and I don't (Episcopalian). The straw that broke the camel's back came last night over the phone when she bitched about me telling her how to please me in the bedroom, saying it hurt her feelings. Yet, she wants me to communicate with her in the bedroom. Then flips and tells me that the relationship cannot progress until this issue is resolved. I am beginning to see why she was married five times and in a shite pile of other relationships. So my approach will be to talk with her tomorrow evening (can't do it tonight as I have a hearing out of town in the morning that I have to prep for). I am going to agree with her that the issue cannot be resolved and that the relationship cannot progress. Consequently, it would be to both of our benefit if we both moved on in life. I will have her things packed and sent to her this weekend.

My only wife of 27 years left the kids and me for someone else about seven years ago. The only reason I did not pull the plug on that relationship was because of our two children. I am not sure if that was the right thing or not, but I was thinking about the welfare of the kids while suffering privately.

I say all of that to say this, there are always other fish in the sea. After whatever efforts you make, if a relationship looks like it is going south - then you need to get out of asap. If anything, I have learned that life is too short to be miserable. The other thing I learned is that sometimes it is better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you miserable.

The dog makes for good company, doesn't bitch, is a good listener, and won't try to take at least half of everything you have if it decides to leave.
This post was edited on 4/22/14 at 12:00 pm
Posted by Dam Guide
Member since Sep 2005
15503 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 12:07 pm to
quote:

my education (graduate degree plus completed doctoral work


quote:

she was married five times


Uh, how did you not see that big giant red flag?
Posted by heartbreakTiger
grinding for my grinders
Member since Jan 2008
138974 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 12:10 pm to
it is best to pull the plug when the relationship is in a serious rut and the other party doesn't want to realize it.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124082 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 12:12 pm to
The worst is when you don't realize it's over
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42465 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 12:28 pm to
quote:

it is best to pull the plug when the relationship is in a serious rut and the other party doesn't want to realize it.


It's done. We just ended after close to 4 years. It sucks, but I feel strangely refreshed. I feel like a new man.

Time to pick up some new hobbies, work on improving myself, and time to slay some new poon.
This post was edited on 4/22/14 at 12:31 pm
Posted by LSUintheNW
At your mom’s house
Member since Aug 2009
35748 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 12:30 pm to
quote:

she has pulled this a couple times for absolutely no reason and I always chase after her and make her hang around.


quote:

like a boss


kids
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42465 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 12:31 pm to
Tryin' to be encouraging. We all go through beta periods with chicks
Posted by LSUintheNW
At your mom’s house
Member since Aug 2009
35748 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 12:36 pm to
speak for yourself....
Posted by damnedoldtigah
Middle of Louisiana
Member since Jan 2014
4275 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 12:39 pm to
quote:

Uh, how did you not see that big giant red flag?


Simple. Pussy. However, I had been noticing things for a bit and decided that it's time to cut my losses. Still have things I want to do in life and I don't want someone holding me back.

Hell, if one just tagged along for the ride, she would benefit from a pretty decent quality of life. That said, I think I am just going to go with the FWB thing for the foreseeable future.
This post was edited on 4/22/14 at 12:41 pm
Posted by whit
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2010
10998 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 12:48 pm to
quote:

time to slay some new poon.
best part about the whole thing
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42465 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 12:50 pm to
What's this whole tinder thing about?
Posted by RebelNutt
God's Country
Member since Dec 2007
6478 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 2:18 pm to
Thanks ocean. I'm with you, I'm gonna need some new hobbies to pass the time. About to start a new job so I'm looking forward to that, meet some new people.
Posted by ZacAttack
The Land Mass
Member since Oct 2012
6416 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 2:40 pm to
It doesn't matter who ends it, either way you're no longer wasting your time on some one who ain't worth it. End it and move on.
Posted by whit
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2010
10998 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 2:45 pm to
quote:

What's this whole tinder thing about?

I've never used it. I have used some of those dating apps. They're not that bad if you don't mind lowering your standards
Posted by WG_Dawg
Hoover
Member since Jun 2004
86465 posts
Posted on 4/22/14 at 2:48 pm to
quote:

how important was it for you to be the one to pull the plug on a relationship when both parties know it's going south?

I'm talking 2-3+ year relationships.


I was with someone for 2 years. Lots of good times of course, talked about marriage, lived together somewhat, yadda yadda. The last 6 months was just not pleasant. We both realized we wanted different things in life. A big thing was location, she wanted to stay there (where we were, where I had just moved right before I met her) but I wanted to go back home. We fought over money, careers, and a host of other things.

It was extremely difficult but we both knew it had to end eventually and we weren't meant to spend eternity together. I was the one that actually "pulled the plug" if you want to call it that, and honestly I took it a lot harder, much harder actually, than she did. But looking back I absolutely could not be happier that it happened that way. About 3 months after that I moved back to GA, got a much better job, and back amongst friends and family, and am 10 times happier than I would be had I stayed over there with her.


If you know it's over, just end it. Don't waste each other's time.
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