re: Long Term Relationships ?

This was the first "real" relationship I had ever been in and was the first person I ever fell in love with. I took it really hard and was legit depressed for a few months. Some pointers that worked for me:


-Be sad. It's human nature adn there's nothing wrong with it. Dont' listen to people who call you a puss or a "beta" or whatever. It's a sad time, embrace it. Get hammered drunk as much as you want. Be miserable. BUT..give yourself a cutoff. I gave myself a month of being that low before I started to do other things, such as..
-Take up some hobbies. I started working out, learned to cook some cool dishes, started reading like a madman, etc. Do shite to occupy your mind.
-Do things you want to do but couldn't with her. If you wanna go visit buddies out of state, or eat a whole pizza, or play video games, or whatever else you really want but haven't been able to because she would frown upon it...do it now.
-Make a list. More or less a letter to yourself that you can look at when you feel down. In it, describe ALL the ways you weren't meant to be and why it wouldn't work out. Every tiny thing in the relationship that wasn't awesome. My list was a full damn page, so when I got down I just looked at that and realized it was for the best.
-Lastly, and buddy I cannot stress this enough, you have to cut off contact. I made a few threads during my rough period on here and I wish I'd have listened. It's corny but I really wish I'd have done it sooner. You cannot I repeat CANNOT continue to be friends. Block her on facebook so you don't see anything about her. Throw away all the cards and love letters. Throw away the pictures of you two that's in your house. It is such a sad and pathetic way to live life constantly checking your phone to see if she texted you back about something. Or hearing all the cool shite she's out doing. You can't get over her if you're still talking/texting/fricking etc.


Granted you'll still think about her when you hear a certain song, or pass a certain restaurant, or whatever. But the best way to get over her is to start erasing all the memory she is taking up in your brain. You have to end the communication, period.

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-Do things you want to do but couldn't with her

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Will be remodeling and redecorating the house the way I want it. It's my territory and I'm marking it.

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it is best to pull the plug when the relationship is in a serious rut and the other party doesn't want to realize it.

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Yep. Or if the other party has grown so comfortable with the relationship that they're never going to say anything. Had to pull the plug on a 5 year relationship because so much had changed and we were moving in two different directions. I stayed in it that long because I felt I owed it to him to try to make things work because he was there for me through some tough times.

My only regret is not pulling the plug about a year earlier.