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re: Kids in their 20's, what is the biggest mistake your parents made with you
Posted on 5/19/14 at 2:34 pm to MWP
Posted on 5/19/14 at 2:34 pm to MWP
quote:
However, I really want him to learn the value of hard work outside of him mowing my yard and taking out the trash. Would love for him to go around the hood and get a yard bizness going but with football camps during the Summer I am afraid I will be the poor dude out there cutting the grass.
Bull...me and a friend started a yard business the summer after our freshman year of high school. Played football throughout high school so had to deal with camps etc. the whole time.
I even kept a ledger book to keep up with payments outstanding, money spent on gas/blades/line. If I was on vacation, I subbed my work out to a neighborhood kid. Two-a-days? Enough time to get a yard done in between.
That kind of work really pays off if you're doing a good job. And in term of hourly income, might be the best money I've ever made (an hour a yard, ~$40 a yard).
1
Posted on 5/19/14 at 2:39 pm to ILikeLSUToo
quote:
ILikeLSUToo
Sounds like my house now. Blended family. Wife and I have 1 daughter and she has 2 daughters from previous marriage. Lots of arguments over finances because ex spouse is a douche and doesn't support his kids. Makes it tough at times. You are 100% correct, its best to keep the fights away from the kids, especially the kids that are effected by the douche parent.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 2:50 pm to redbaron
quote:
Bull...me and a friend started a yard business the summer after our freshman year of high school. Played football throughout high school so had to deal with camps etc. the whole time.
Oh I agree. If my kid wants to drive, he will be cutting some yards. When I was in high school, we didn't have camps. We mowed yards and right before school, cut and split with mauls like 10-15 chords of firewood before football started.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 2:53 pm to TutHillTiger
Always give them what they need. Sometimes give them what they want. Be stern, but fair. And let them know you love them.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 2:57 pm to MWP
I think my parents were too lenient. It's weird because I never drank or did drugs in school but I wish I would've been pushed harder to do things (make better grades, get better at sports, etc.) It's a fine line, I would have hated to be pushed hard but could have used some. Parents didn't go to college so when I decided I wanted to go to LSU, I was under the impression that if I came back home with an LSU degree, I could get whatever job I wanted. Got by with a 3.0 but never pushed myself and left with a Comm Studies degree. Personal finance was another big one.
My dad used to have a bad temper. There were days he'd come home and you could immediately tell what kind of mood he was in. If he came in goofy and acting up, it was going to be a good evening. If he came in and didn't say hello, it sucked. He got on meds when I was in high school and our relationship really blossomed. I wish he would hug me and tell me he loved me more, even now. Seeing him with my son is pretty cool because he's extremely soft and loving to him.
There are definitely things I want to do like my parents but things I want to learn from and do differently as well. My parents constantly tell me to do that, though. They know they weren't perfect, no parent is. They do hope I will take the good they offered and learn from the bad.
My dad used to have a bad temper. There were days he'd come home and you could immediately tell what kind of mood he was in. If he came in goofy and acting up, it was going to be a good evening. If he came in and didn't say hello, it sucked. He got on meds when I was in high school and our relationship really blossomed. I wish he would hug me and tell me he loved me more, even now. Seeing him with my son is pretty cool because he's extremely soft and loving to him.
There are definitely things I want to do like my parents but things I want to learn from and do differently as well. My parents constantly tell me to do that, though. They know they weren't perfect, no parent is. They do hope I will take the good they offered and learn from the bad.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 2:58 pm to Jackie Chan
quote:
Always give them what they need. Sometimes give them what they want. Be stern, but fair. And let them know you love them.
Yes. And not giving them what they want sometimes is as important as making sure they have what they need. I can't tell you how many shitty human beings I know who got nearly everything they asked for from their parents.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 3:00 pm to TutHillTiger
My parents biggest mistake with me was not educating and introducing me to/about alcohol when I was in my teens. Nobody in my family ever drank, so when I got around it and started doing it I went crazy with it. Used to drink and drive all the time in high school.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 3:02 pm to CQQ
quote:
Seeing him with my son is pretty cool because he's extremely soft and loving to him.
My dad was a prick when I was in high school and had a fierce temper. Mostly stress related I guess. I mainly avoided him in high school which wasn't hard since he was usually away building a pipeline thousands of miles away. However, he is a super Granddad these days. Does all kind of cool stuff with my kids and I asked him a year or so ago, where was this man when I was growing up?
Posted on 5/19/14 at 3:08 pm to MWP
quote:
My dad was a prick when I was in high school and had a fierce temper. Mostly stress related I guess. I mainly avoided him in high school which wasn't hard since he was usually away building a pipeline thousands of miles away. However, he is a super Granddad these days. Does all kind of cool stuff with my kids and I asked him a year or so ago, where was this man when I was growing up?
I had the same shite growning up, dad was always pipeline jumping. I spanked my little one a few years back and he politely said something to me about it. I was like, hold up Mr. Asswhoopin!!!
I told him he was getting soft with age, he agreed.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 3:23 pm to TutHillTiger
(no message)
This post was edited on 6/12/14 at 6:58 pm
Posted on 5/19/14 at 3:27 pm to TexasTiger01
Not a mistake, but one of the best things my parents did with my sister and me was to make us buy our own first cars even though they could have bought them for us.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 3:28 pm to TutHillTiger
My parents were great. The only thing I am regretting now, my dad retired with 40 years in the Army. He talked me out of going that route. I got my engineering degree, but it's been an expensive hassle since I graduated highschool. My cousin, same age as me, went into the Air Force and is less than 5 years from having 20 invested, and retiring. He won't make a killing, but he will be able to work part time in Alaska, and dick around most of the year. Really wish I would've went into the Air Force now.
This post was edited on 5/19/14 at 3:29 pm
Posted on 5/19/14 at 3:50 pm to AUCE05
Cool thread. Enjoy reading input from those that are just a few years ahead of mine.
My oldest is 16 and we do give him a lot of freedom, maybe too much. But we have allowed him to develop his own personality and style, but boy it has been painful to go through all of those changes.
My goal has always been to have him as a mature, productive adult working toward goals by the time he reaches mid 20's. Have tried not to tell him he needed to go to college or not, but that college does offer him options that he may not otherwise have.
So far, feeling like we have one pretty good with him, other than the grades, but time will tell.
I appreciated the comment about them knowing you care. I have worked really hard on that one.
My oldest is 16 and we do give him a lot of freedom, maybe too much. But we have allowed him to develop his own personality and style, but boy it has been painful to go through all of those changes.
My goal has always been to have him as a mature, productive adult working toward goals by the time he reaches mid 20's. Have tried not to tell him he needed to go to college or not, but that college does offer him options that he may not otherwise have.
So far, feeling like we have one pretty good with him, other than the grades, but time will tell.
I appreciated the comment about them knowing you care. I have worked really hard on that one.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 3:57 pm to CQQ
Bunch of whiney arse dudes in this thread bitching about how their dad was so mean and didn't hug them enough. My dad would drive from Houston to New Orleans to come beat my arse, but you don't see me complaining about it. You ever been hit in the back with a fraternity paddle? Probably not, but I know he is a solid dude and would be there when I needed him
America = pussified
America = pussified
Posted on 5/19/14 at 3:58 pm to Ed Wuncler III
quote:
So just try and be good friends with your kid, and let them know they can always talk to you and you'll always understand them.
That's the kind of relationship I think I have with my kid but I want to be a dad first and a friend second. If he fricks up, I am going to come down on him but that grounding shiz is worthless. Going to be some hard labor taking place, but luckily, he has kept his shiz together.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 4:02 pm to TutHillTiger
My parents didn't touch me inappropriately so that was cool
Posted on 5/19/14 at 4:08 pm to TutHillTiger
When I was in my teens I would have had a huge list of things to say but the list has gotten shorter. I would just repeat what alot of people have said. My dad did a great job but he probably was too easy on me and never wanted to treat me like a man. He did stuff for me instead of with me. He grew up poor and knew what it was like to have to get by on his own as a teen which is probably the case with alot of men in his generation. I think he wanted me to have things and not have to bust my arse outside all day to have something nice. He'd make me do common chores and mow the yard but if my mom got on me about spending all day in the yard with them or whatever he'd always override her and say I didn't have to which is weird because my mom ran the house for the most part.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 4:10 pm to Hammertime
Title of Thread: what is the biggest mistake your parents made with you
I do not see whining in this thread. Dad's not being there is a mistake, most that were not there will look back and agree it was a mistake. Some have no choice as they had to be away for work and provide for their family.
I am sure that other dad's will be there when their sons/daughters need them as well. I know I will be there for my son and I did not hit him in the back with a fraternity paddle.
I do not see whining in this thread. Dad's not being there is a mistake, most that were not there will look back and agree it was a mistake. Some have no choice as they had to be away for work and provide for their family.
I am sure that other dad's will be there when their sons/daughters need them as well. I know I will be there for my son and I did not hit him in the back with a fraternity paddle.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 4:10 pm to LNCHBOX
quote:
Teaching me how to handle my personal finances. Learning on my own has been a pain.
This, although I'm pretty sure the reason they didn't teach me is because they don't know either.
Posted on 5/19/14 at 4:31 pm to beaverfever
quote:
When I was in my teens I would have had a huge list of things to say but the list has gotten shorter. I would just repeat what alot of people have said. My dad did a great job but he probably was too easy on me and never wanted to treat me like a man. He did stuff for me instead of with me. He grew up poor and knew what it was like to have to get by on his own as a teen which is probably the case with alot of men in his generation. I think he wanted me to have things and not have to bust my arse outside all day to have something nice. He'd make me do common chores and mow the yard but if my mom got on me about spending all day in the yard with them or whatever he'd always override her and say I didn't have to which is weird because my mom ran the house for the most part.
This is what I am struggling with as a parent. I grew up poor, and remember how embarrassing it was. I just don't want my child experiencing that. That usually means I go overboard...
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