re: Is it ok for your girlfriend to go to an Ex's family member funeral?

Not acceptable. She can mourn from within, not at funeral.

Holy shite, this happened to my close friend in August, but instead of grandmother it was a father.

Long-time ex (if I remember correctly 7 years) still contacts her and states he loves her, she "ignores it".

Long-time ex's dad passes away from stage 4 cancer, she sent flowers, went to the wake with my friend, and the morning of the funeral, she cancels on my friend and she goes to the funeral instead of my friend's annual family trip to Destin.

The girlfriend spends time with the ex during/after the funeral, etc.

The ex tries to woo her, etc. She tells my friend she's just trying to be "supportive" because the ex's dad was a big part of his life (uh, most parents are a big part of your life...)

I walk in on them making out in the library study room at school 2 weeks after the funeral.

"supportive" alright

I remember the face of oh shite.

She'll see him in his emotional state, and naturally want to nurture him.

AKA they'll bone

quote:

---

It just seems like a woman that's 100% committed to the current relationship would have cut off all communication with this guy in the first place. Doesn't seem unreasonable. Like others said, I would want her to send some flowers and be done with it. She may love the ex's family but you have to break up with the family when you break up with the guy. They may be nice people but that's the way it is.

---

Yup. My fiancee doesn't talk to any one she was with previously and either do I.

I feel like its one of those things that "nothing good comes from it." Regardless of intention, you lose nothing not communicating, but you have every thing to lose by doing so.

quote:

---

quote:

---

Death is nature's aphrodisiac

---

I'm going to try to put this nicely...

What the frick is wrong with you, you sick frick?

---

Do you even Wedding Crashers, bro?

quote:

---

Ok, got to go. Thanks for the input and advice.

---

Yeh, have a good one. I changed my mind a little. You need to let her go do her thing. When she gets back, she'll likely be a little tired from "the emotional stress and everything", so make sure you run her a nice warm bath, maybe even add some expensive bubble stuff and let her soak in it for a nice long time.....So you can make sure she's all cleaned up before you try to get in there! (Unless you're one of those guys who has that odd fetish of liking to "clean her up" yourself )

The best case outcome for you is that the girl merely talks, visits, mourns, and reminisces with the family. What comes of that depends on the moral fortitude of the girl.

Worst case, she's cheating, physically and/or emotionally.

My condolences for your loss.

quote:

---

This whole situation stinks bud. Judging by the facts, the PIIHB crowd is likely wrong. It is feasible that they open the talking channels. I would be more upset about the change of plans and the lack of respect for you than the actual going to the funeral. 8 years is a long time, definitely long enough to get emotionally attached to family outside of the actual boyfriend. This just has "walk all over you" written all over it, and that lack of mutual respect isn't healthy unless you are leaving out the fact that you two had an actual conversation with everything on the table. I doubt it though considering the existence of this thread.

---

This is it exactly...
No matter how much you trust her, and even if she does nothing wrong. She changed your family's plans to be with his family. That's not ok.

As I said earlier, "if you choose to go there, stay there, and consider yourself single."

Going in itself is kinda weird but I could see where it wouldn't be a big deal.

Breaking off travel plans with you to go and the ex's mom showing up at her work however is something I probably wouldn't be ok with.