I wish people would wash their hands before I come in contact with them.

You got that baws poo particles all over you now. Enjoy the pink eye.

He established his dominance over you.

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I shook hands with a respectable fellow in a business deal yesterday

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We've told you once before to stop shaking hands in the drive thru. Give them their food and let them go. Last warning.

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I shook hands with a respectable fellow in a business deal yesterday. I get in my car and notice an odor. I smelled my hand and it was funked up.

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Had he truly been “respectable” then you wouldn’t have smelt an odor from the handshake.

YOU estimated his character poorly and now it’s HIS fault?

Here’s you-

You respected him. He clearly did NOT respect you.

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I wish

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Wish in one hand, and shite in the other, and makee other people wash their hands, and see which one.... or something like that.

Did he scratch his swamp balls before shaking your hand?

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Enjoy the stink eye.

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You got a taste of the ol’ two in the pink and one in the stink.

Back in biblical times, Jewish men would swear oaths by grabbing each other's testicles as they took the oath. Many still do that, although not in public.

They would say, "I swear by my testicles that I will honor this pledge."

Some would then say, "That's quite a set of batisms ya got there, Ziskayt." Such comments would almost always result in a quick withdrawal of the hand by the recipient of the comment.