re: I Made a Mistake, Feel Like Crap, Don't Know What To Do With Myself

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Basically what happened is I was all set to live next year with a group of my friends, but a couple people I thought were not fully committed, so I thought the housing situation was going to fall apart and I needed somewhere to live next year. Another one of my friends then contacted me and asked if I could live with him, another one of my friends, and then two random people (one of which I sort of know, but not really). The friend who called me basically told me that the other situation was falling apart, and that, basically, it would be in my best interest to take the current offer. I agreed without really thinking it through, thinking the situation was going to fall apart and did not want to renew the lease for the place I am living this year, so I just wanted somewhere to live. I was trying to find a big place that both groups could live in, though, and that combined with my fear of telling the other group about where I was living made it so I didn't tell the other group until like 12-24 hours later, and when I told them, saw how upset with me they were. I came off much shadier than I intended, and basically screwed some of my friends over, without meaning to.

I immediately regretted my decision (which I made on Thursday), was upset all weekend, and didn't even know how to proceed. I decided yesterday to build up my confidence (I have little confidence) and that today I was going to text the other friend who pulled me away from the other group that I felt too bad and that I was going to live with the friends I had initially committed to, but he said he was already turning people away from the place we were planning on renting, and basically that I was going to be screwing them over now if I left. I told him that I would stay, but that if someone else asks, to let me know, and basically they can have my spot.

On top of it all, in hindsight, the original group of friends I was going to live with were planning on staying in a house for two years, while the group I had now committed to, planned on staying in the house for one year, so stability was also a factor, and I just can't stop thinking about what a horrible mistake I made. I was unloyal, I was shady, and it just eats me alive. I should not have made such an impulsive decision, I should have thought things through more.

I have made up with all of my friends and things are good, but now I have put them and me into a nightmare scenario. I can't concentrate on my studies now, it just occupies my mind.

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You need the ever loving shite beat out of you. What the frick is wrong with you?

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