re: Help dealing with someone with Dementia

Can the nearby Alzheimer's Support group help?

Was he in the Armed Forces such that he could be inflicted on a Veterans home? (I'd expect other veterans to have some ways to shut him down.)

Find a locked memory care facility. They specialize in dementia patients.

Have you spoken to his doctor or a hospital Social worker for resources? Not trying to be unhelpful but that would be my next step. It's not the same but when my mom was on hospice the social worker gave us a booklet on what was going to happen and when kind of. Sucked, but it did help all of to prepare and know what was coming. I imagine there is something similar for dementia.

Best advice I can think of other than that is just support your gf. Let her vent, do nice things for her even if it's as simple as doing the laundry to take some of the load off her back.

If she needs to step away and be done with him then so be it, but let that be her decision. And if she does, I'd still check on him if I were you. Good luck to you all.

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I'm not real sure he has dementia that bad. Sounds like he's a cranky old coot to me. My stepmother and mother-in-law both had dementia when they died and neither one exhibited some of the symptoms as this fella. Maybe he has early stages but once it's full blown he won't give a shite where he's living or how to even operate a phone.

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He has a whole host of other health issues. And a lot of this is him just being cranky. But he definitely has bouts with it. Couple of weeks ago he called trying to get home because he thought he was in Oklahoma. Couple days later he walked over to a neighbors house then couldn't remember where his house was. Last weekend he called for us to help him "fight off a bunch of indians" He watches a lot of old country western shows.

Honestly, I guess I'm coming to realize the dementia symptoms aren't really the issue, docs have helped her calm him down when he's disoriented. It's everything else he does when he is feeling fine.

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Not sure why she took him out of the nursing home. It sounds like that is where he needs to be.

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There were a few reasons. We have talked about maybe putting him back and only allowing him his phone for a few hours a day, I'm sure he will hate it and complain but it may be better than what she's dealing with now.

If he will not cooperate with 24/7 caretakers, I would put him in a nursing home or some type of facility which handles patients like himself for his own safety and your gf's sanity. Sometimes, you just have to do things the older person may not like when it's in the person's best interest.

Some folks get mean when they get this way. Some do not. I know a person who has run off so many sitters, the company refused to send any more of them. She stays with the daughter, but the woman gets up in the middle of the night cooking and such which puts them both in danger. They found her in the street in the middle of the night, where she'd fallen. She will not want to go to a facility, but for her own safety and her daughter's, there is no other choice. those folks are trained to deal with these situations. It's a very tough time for the loved ones.

Take his phone and leave him there.

Fought this for a few years. I finally got my mom into a place for dementia patients. I must say- sounds horrible but they medicate them. She calmed down a lot. Eventually, the dementia is so bad that the drugs are a blessing to them as well.

Since he's still in that stage where he's mean, make sure he's not hitting or otherwise physically abusing your GF.
If it starts, it will get worse and someone (you) has to protect her.

Take it from someone with experience, talk to his doctor and have sedatives prescribed. My father went through this shite and we had to no option but to place him in a nursing home. He was belligerent and combative from the minute he entered the home, the doctors had no choice but to sedate him pretty much 24/7.