re: Have you seen a loved one in a state that crushed you…

My Father was operated on for lung cancer. They planned to take his lower right lobe. When they cut him open from sternum to backbone, they noticed a second large cancer (inoperable) on his upper right lobe growing onto the pulmonary artery.
So they sent him home to heal from the inside out.
This happened when I was working in Texas and they were in Virginia. I got home the next week and the visiting nurse was going to show me how to clean the wound. I was unprepared and drew back shaking. My Father saw my reaction and said , "It's that bad?" I stuttered, no, I just wasn't expecting it.
I couldn't help care for him, I remember the cut to this day. He died two months later and the cut was still 'healing'.

My parents both got Covid a few years ago. Both were in their late 70s at the time. Watching them suffer was rough but I was more angry than sad. The woman who exposed them sat in a crowded church during a funeral coughing violently throughout the service. 7 people sitting nearby got Covid after that. I was ready to choke the life out of the self-centered hag who couldn't be bothered to stay home when she was clearly ill.

Mississippi

I will pray for your dad.

For everyone that has posted in this thread and is going through a difficult time….you all will be in my prayers tonight.

The worst was seeing my mom with severe dementia.

The second worst was seeing her in her coffin.

Admittedly kind of messed up, but I imagine some of you will understand.

My mom with Alzheimers. Terrible. Just a slow, cruel wasting away.

Grandma, going through altzimers.
Aunt going through cancer, looking like a skeleton in the hospital bed with a few months left.
Cousin, getting addicted to meth showing up at a wedding looking like a skeleton.
Then my ex, after getting ran through by 3/4 dudes off dating sites. Hooking up, re-kindling, telling me she can't see me bc of my job, being gone for weeks at a time, doing offshore work. Got into the field bc I literally had no other option after getting laid off 2x then having a business fail.

I mean, it's life, nothing is perfect, nothing last forever and I've been fortunate to get out of some debt. Just wish I had more confidence in day to day life. I've been thinking about calling califoenia physics, at least I can pay them 1/min to listen to me talk. It can be lonely out here. You ever feel like you don't belong here anymore?

My grandpa with cirrhosis and dementia. Some days were ok, most were horrible. He made it 2 years bed ridden.

quote:

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ended up on hospice. It’s tough watching them the last couple of days when they’ve quit eating and they are just laying there

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I worked for a DME part time off and on. We service lots of hospices, hospitals, nursing homes, etc. Watched a many people pass over the years. A few I was talking to while servicing equipment and they quit talking to me. I just have to go get a nurse. I can't legally perform any life saving measures. It doesn't bother me like it would most, but if I ever get in the shape some patients are, put me out of my misery.

Another side note. I know sometimes its a gotta do situation, but do the best you can to keep your parents or whomever out of a nursing home. I don't care how "nice" they look. Some nurses are nice and ok, but majority don't give a damn.

My dad in the hospital after a heart attack. My kids were his whole world and him telling me he was scared to die because he wouldn't be around to see them grow up absolutely killed me. They were 3y and 8 months old at the time. Since he was in ICU, they would not allow my kids to go back and see him. He passed away 2 weeks later. That was in 2018 and he was only 59.