re: Have you ever had someone scoff/question how much you tipped them?

I do think Europe's system is better.

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As a former server and a long time cook, I get that. I give lee-way when a server is swamped. I got sorta bad service one time, but I could see the server had a six table section, including water and lemon drinkers.
I can sympathize.
But I want my refills eventually. If you serve my food, and see we are out of drinks and then don't return until food is gone and we are sharing the kid's drinks, then don't expect a nice tip.

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I will always get to it eventually - the challenge as a server is to try to optimize your best "line of attack" and try to get everything done in the quickest route possible. Sometimes other needs are prioritized more than refills are.

The restaurant I work at now, we don't have bussers or an expo, so we have to bus our own tables and pull our own food. Sometimes the hosts will help us with the bussing, but for the most part its on us. Add that onto sections that I have that sometimes have as many as 8-10 tables, I do the best I can. We also have to make our own salads and desserts which can add onto the list of duties. For example last Saturday I had 7 tables at one time, one of which was a 7 person table all of which who ordered Caesar Salads(which I have to make), and I had another table with 4 kids who were ready for their Sundaes(which I had to make) as well as having just been double sat so I had to greet 2 tables, and there were 2 more tables whose credit cards I had to run so they could check out and leave. Figuring out how to prioritize and optimize everything and try to make everyone as happy as possible is the challenge.

I go to a place where there are large glass containers in the counter. The tip gars. The ladies taking my order don't actually prepare my food. The crew in the cooking area should be tipped but I think the ladies behind the counter split the tips amongst themselves. Who exactly should I reward here ? I pick my food up at the counter and my utensils. The ladies put ice in a plastic cup but that's it. Some of these ladies are eye candy but I am 50 years old. These women are 20-29 years old. I feel obligated to put two to three dollars in the jar each time. I should reward the cooks or the busboys.