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Message
re: Gwyneth Paltrow steams her vagina
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:40 am to Hangover Haven
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:40 am to Hangover Haven
I thought this said streams, and came in looking for a link to watch.
I are disappoint, son.
I are disappoint, son.
This post was edited on 1/29/15 at 11:40 am
0
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:40 am to Count Chocula
quote:
Wonder if she acupunctures it too?
Or vagazzles
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:40 am to Green Chili Tiger
I chuckled when I read steam douche
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:40 am to Count Chocula
quote:
Wonder if she acupunctures it too?
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:41 am to Hangover Haven
Can you rent one of those Stanley Steamer things and get the same result?
I have a friend who wants to know.
I have a friend who wants to know.
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:41 am to Green Chili Tiger
quote:
Her douchiness makes her a 3.1 OT rating and 2.1 IRL.
quote:
You forgot to add IWHI
You forgot the N
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:42 am to Green Chili Tiger
quote:
signature V-steam for men
Hey, what about my ballz?
quote:
This is an ACTUAL email I received this afternoon. No joke.
quote:
Dear Michelle,
So, here I am sitting in my office trying to make my way through another seemingly endless day at work, when I suddenly come across an article on your blog about yet another new spa treatment for women. There’s been vajazzle, vajacial, vatoo… and this one is for a vaginal steam bath. Vaginal Steam Bath?????? What the Hey!! What about us guys? We’re people too. How about a steam bath for “my boys”? It can’t always be about you women. Guys need to relax too. I’d love to treat my boys to a good time. They’re good boys, they’ve always done the right thing by me. Are you listening spa owners… us guys would like to shed our inhibitions and take our boys out for a night on the town!! Do you women want your man to take care of you? Then help him to take care of himself… Spa Week should talk to some spa owners and demand that they start offering “A Boys Night Out Steam Bath.” It’s the right thing to do.
Love,
Locked Up in New York
PS. Please keep me anonymous if you do anything with this (absolutely brilliant) idea.
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:43 am to Green Chili Tiger
I saw her at Lake Bruin last year. Started to bang but I was running late for my golf tourny.
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:44 am to jrodLSUke
quote:
they’ve always done the right thing by me.
As someone with balls, I call bullshite.
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:44 am to Green Chili Tiger
Vaginal Steaming
Entering the vagina steaming room (I just don't know what else to call it), I'm faced with what looks like a Victorian police cell toilet situated over a steaming pot of Grandma's Chai Spice Vagina tea. I hover over the hole in the seat just so and then settle down so that the steam may rise into That Which Is Most Sacred. I cannot tell a lie: At first, it feels incredibly weird to have hot wet air wafting into my cooch. My entire body tenses as I actively clench my vaginal muscles to protect myself from the invading shower of scorching steam. It would feel exactly like the poison fog from the Hunger Games arena, I think. First a burning heat and then convulsion after convulsion of electric pain!
Entering the vagina steaming room (I just don't know what else to call it), I'm faced with what looks like a Victorian police cell toilet situated over a steaming pot of Grandma's Chai Spice Vagina tea. I hover over the hole in the seat just so and then settle down so that the steam may rise into That Which Is Most Sacred. I cannot tell a lie: At first, it feels incredibly weird to have hot wet air wafting into my cooch. My entire body tenses as I actively clench my vaginal muscles to protect myself from the invading shower of scorching steam. It would feel exactly like the poison fog from the Hunger Games arena, I think. First a burning heat and then convulsion after convulsion of electric pain!
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:44 am to Green Chili Tiger
Gwyneth's maid, meanwhile, uses Stanley Steamer.
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:45 am to LSUTygerFan
quote:Penthouse Forum....
Entering the vagina steaming room (I just don't know what else to call it), I'm faced with what looks like a Victorian police cell toilet situated over a steaming pot of Grandma's Chai Spice Vagina tea. I hover over the hole in the seat just so and then settle down so that the steam may rise into That Which Is Most Sacred. I cannot tell a lie: At first, it feels incredibly weird to have hot wet air wafting into my cooch. My entire body tenses as I actively clench my vaginal muscles to protect myself from the invading shower of scorching steam. It would feel exactly like the poison fog from the Hunger Games arena, I think. First a burning heat and then convulsion after convulsion of electric pain!
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:48 am to LSUTygerFan
quote:
I force myself to take deep breaths and visualize my vagina opening like a freshly painted Georgia O’Keefe, inviting the warm breath of life inside my uterus. Welcome, I said. And as I say this, I begin to ease into it. It feels foreign, but not bad; like visiting a new country that you weren’t sure would be safe for women travelers and then stumbling upon a lesbian bookstore collective. And you know what? I like it. I zen out as my vagina sucks up steam and drips out whatever; I fantasize about getting a really good spa-style exfoliating scrub beatdown afterwards. I want to feel as clean on the outside as I feel on the inside. Which is to say, very clean. Squeaky clean. Just me and my squeaky clean vagina.
At the end of my 30 minutes, I stand up and have a distinct feeling of emptiness. Not in a scary way but in a calming way. I feel good. I imagine this is how Gwyneth Paltrow feels all the time; empty and just a little bit better than other people. It’s almost like I can hear her voice whispering into my vagina. And Gwyneth is saying "You are living your best life, Laura." Or maybe that’s Oprah.
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:51 am to Green Chili Tiger
They should combine this with a Sybian machine.
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:52 am to VABuckeye
quote:
They should combine this with a Sybian machine.
The Sybian Steamer.........
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:53 am to Green Chili Tiger
Inevitably someone will burn their uterus really bad, thanks gwenith
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:53 am to Green Chili Tiger
i almost didn't read the OT today. if i hadn't , I would not know that vaginal steaming existed...
the more you know
the more you know
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:54 am to Wooly
quote:
Inevitably someone will burn their uterus really bad
It's OK. They'll just blame Obama.
Posted on 1/29/15 at 11:57 am to Green Chili Tiger
Gosh I wish genital steaming was covered under obamacare
Posted on 1/29/15 at 12:01 pm to Wooly
quote:
Inevitably someone will burn their uterus really bad, thanks gwenith
I thought the whole point of the article was an elaborate excuse for the blisters on her vagina.
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