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Message
re: Funeral protocol question-updated pg 4
Posted on 9/1/15 at 5:36 pm to yankeeundercover
Posted on 9/1/15 at 5:36 pm to yankeeundercover
quote:Me, I'm 15 or 16 but I can already frick myself.
Speaking of message board advice, I need help setting up my retirement and 401(k)... Who do I see about that?
This post was edited on 9/1/15 at 5:37 pm
0
Posted on 9/1/15 at 5:37 pm to foj1981
Are you into necrophelia?
Posted on 9/1/15 at 5:40 pm to foj1981
If you want to be in a relationship with her you most definitely go to the funeral service. She will love you for it and it's a classy, alpha thing to do.
If you don't want a relationship you shouldn't go b/c she will definitely think you do if she sees you there.
If you don't want a relationship you shouldn't go b/c she will definitely think you do if she sees you there.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 5:41 pm to foj1981
Be there, but remember that she will have family and probably some long time friends to be with, so make sure she doesn't feel like she has to babysit you the entire time since you won't know many folks. Last thing I'd want to be doing it having to introduce people to a guy I've had a few dates with.
DO NOT send some massive funeral spray. It's not appropriate at this point and she may not even see all the cards while they're attached to all the flowers. She may only see the card by itself when they're going over them later on. Might be nice to send a small plant if she is a plant person. She can keep that if she wishes.
Tell her you'd like to attend whatever part of the services she would like you to attend or help in any way you can. If they're having an after party at the home, ask if there's anything you can get for them to help them set up, pick up ice, sandwiches, icing down water, cold drinks, beer etc... That's actually very helpful and always appreciated.
I stopped sending flowers to funerals. As soon as it happens, I get some things they might need for visiting friends, relatives etc... like paper products, plastic cups and silverware, cases of water, cold drinks, beer etc... You'd be surprised how enthusiastic people are about that sort of thing. They have a short window to basically plan and ready for a party when they don't feel like doing it.
DO NOT send some massive funeral spray. It's not appropriate at this point and she may not even see all the cards while they're attached to all the flowers. She may only see the card by itself when they're going over them later on. Might be nice to send a small plant if she is a plant person. She can keep that if she wishes.
Tell her you'd like to attend whatever part of the services she would like you to attend or help in any way you can. If they're having an after party at the home, ask if there's anything you can get for them to help them set up, pick up ice, sandwiches, icing down water, cold drinks, beer etc... That's actually very helpful and always appreciated.
I stopped sending flowers to funerals. As soon as it happens, I get some things they might need for visiting friends, relatives etc... like paper products, plastic cups and silverware, cases of water, cold drinks, beer etc... You'd be surprised how enthusiastic people are about that sort of thing. They have a short window to basically plan and ready for a party when they don't feel like doing it.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 5:43 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:
I would go to the service but not the burial. If you're not exclusive, there's no need to make it awkward by being at the burial.
All you have to do is go and stand in the background. Assuming others will be there to pay their respects. If it's family and close friends only, that's another matter.
quote:
Don't forget to buy a very nice and respectful flower arrangement though. You need to do that.
It's become customary to donate to the family's designated charity in lieu of flowers. The obit should state if they prefer this, and the name of the charity.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 5:48 pm to foj1981
I would go, there's usually lots of good food at the get together after the funeral
Posted on 9/1/15 at 6:00 pm to el Gaucho
I've had a few hookups from attending funerals. I'd go.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 6:03 pm to soccerfüt
quote:
Ask her what size shoe he wears.
Many folks die with lots of wear left in lots of their shoes.
Your welcomed in advance.
funniest thing I have read today. bravo. :slowclap:
Posted on 9/1/15 at 6:04 pm to Gris Gris
Thanks Gris Gris.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 6:20 pm to foj1981
Sure thing. Hope I helped you open the dialogue when it becomes necessary. Families don't forget other people doing legwork and running errands. They're fielding visitors and phone calls etc...
Posted on 9/1/15 at 6:54 pm to foj1981
Go as long as she needs you there
Posted on 9/1/15 at 7:19 pm to foj1981
Bring two, clean,,white, pressed handkerchiefs.
Give one to her and one to her Mom.
Give one to her and one to her Mom.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 9:58 pm to VetteGuy
Good tip
Posted on 9/1/15 at 10:00 pm to foj1981
If you are serious about this girl...
No downside to being there.
A shite ton of downside to NOT being there.
No downside to being there.
A shite ton of downside to NOT being there.
Posted on 9/1/15 at 10:13 pm to foj1981
You should go without drawing attention to yourself. Be a respectful visitor paying your respects, give her a hug and ask how she's holding up. If she doesn't signify you should stay after everyone leaves let her know you're heading out but to call you if she needs anything or wants to hang out. The end
Posted on 9/4/15 at 2:45 pm to LSUChamp06
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours
A classic line from Yogi Berra (truly one of a kind)
A classic line from Yogi Berra (truly one of a kind)
Posted on 9/4/15 at 2:48 pm to foj1981
Go to the wake, pay your respects to her and her family, then stay in the background.
I don't think it's too necessary to attend the actual funeral at the cemetery.
I don't think it's too necessary to attend the actual funeral at the cemetery.
Posted on 9/4/15 at 2:49 pm to foj1981
Go to the funeral and show her what kind of man you are.
Posted on 9/4/15 at 2:55 pm to Ash Williams
quote:
Tell her you'll be there for her the entire time if she wants you to be, but that you understand if she wants to be alone with family for some parts and to just let you know when those times are and that you won't be offended.
This, she will remember how you handle this situation forever so keep that in mind if you want to be serious with her.
Posted on 9/4/15 at 3:02 pm to Gris Gris
quote:
Be there, but remember that she will have family and probably some long time friends to be with, so make sure she doesn't feel like she has to babysit you the entire time since you won't know many folks. Last thing I'd want to be doing it having to introduce people to a guy I've had a few dates with.
DO NOT send some massive funeral spray. It's not appropriate at this point and she may not even see all the cards while they're attached to all the flowers. She may only see the card by itself when they're going over them later on. Might be nice to send a small plant if she is a plant person. She can keep that if she wishes. Tell her you'd like to attend whatever part of the services she would like you to attend or help in any way you can. If they're having an after party at the home, ask if there's anything you can get for them to help them set up, pick up ice, sandwiches, icing down water, cold drinks, beer etc... That's actually very helpful and always appreciated. I stopped sending flowers to funerals. As soon as it happens, I get some things they might need for visiting friends, relatives etc... like paper products, plastic cups and silverware, cases of water, cold drinks, beer etc... You'd be surprised how enthusiastic people are about that sort of thing. They have a short window to basically plan and ready for a party when they don't feel like doing it.
All of this is pretty solid OP, except the plant should be a tree if you think she is wife/mother material. You have a shot for one of the most memorable and romantic things you could ever do for her: The two of you plant a tree in honor of her father. Years from now, when you have children together, you put a tire swing on the tree, and take the kids to connect with Grandpa.
Also, to Gris Gris, the are plastic utensils, not silverware.
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