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Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:38 am to Wtodd
quote:
You're right it is my perception but no one is putting a gun to someone's head saying "frick me or I'll shoot"
Obviously I agree. What I am saying is if her husband finds out first, he won't exactly be viewed as innocent, even if he is 2%/at fault.
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:38 am to RedRifle
Pray for him
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:38 am to Navytiger74
quote:
She deserves to know?
You really dont believe the dudes wife deserves to know he is dicking down some other broad?
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:38 am to RedRifle
Listen, if he is really a good friend, and you want to stay a good friend to him, you have to do two things: give him a dose if reality and support him.
It's very difficult to keep up an affair these days without being caught. If he is caught, he is in deep shite. You have to have an honest discussion with him, and let him know that if he tries to keep having his cake and eating it too, he's going to end up in a world of hurt.
He needs to make up his mind to either move out a get a divorce, or quit the affair and dedicate himself to making his marriage work. It takes two to make a marriage work, but he has to focus on the marriage if he wants any chance to make it work.
Don't be judgmental, just give him a reality check. He is living and acting on emotion right now - feeling shitty about his marriage and enjoying the high of some other chick wanting his cock. If you want to help him, you got to shake him out of that place and get him back to reality. This won't work long term, and when it blows up, it will blow up bad for everyone, including his kid.
Then you support his decision, whatever it is. That does not mean you lie for him or help him if he keeps cheating, it means you are a good friend to him and try to help him get through either trying to fix the marriage or help him through the divorce process.
If he keeps cheating, and especially if he gets caught, he's really gonna regret it when he sobers up and realizes what he has done to himself, his kid and the mother of his child.
It's very difficult to keep up an affair these days without being caught. If he is caught, he is in deep shite. You have to have an honest discussion with him, and let him know that if he tries to keep having his cake and eating it too, he's going to end up in a world of hurt.
He needs to make up his mind to either move out a get a divorce, or quit the affair and dedicate himself to making his marriage work. It takes two to make a marriage work, but he has to focus on the marriage if he wants any chance to make it work.
Don't be judgmental, just give him a reality check. He is living and acting on emotion right now - feeling shitty about his marriage and enjoying the high of some other chick wanting his cock. If you want to help him, you got to shake him out of that place and get him back to reality. This won't work long term, and when it blows up, it will blow up bad for everyone, including his kid.
Then you support his decision, whatever it is. That does not mean you lie for him or help him if he keeps cheating, it means you are a good friend to him and try to help him get through either trying to fix the marriage or help him through the divorce process.
If he keeps cheating, and especially if he gets caught, he's really gonna regret it when he sobers up and realizes what he has done to himself, his kid and the mother of his child.
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:38 am to Henry Jones Jr
The reason the man told his friend about the affair is that he is asking for help.
He knows what he is doing is wrong and he wants a way out. That's why he's asking his friend for support. He just doesn't know how to come out and say it.
To the OP, my advice... help your friend straighten up and fly right. No one else needs to know shite about it.
A bad situation made worse helps no one.
He knows what he is doing is wrong and he wants a way out. That's why he's asking his friend for support. He just doesn't know how to come out and say it.
To the OP, my advice... help your friend straighten up and fly right. No one else needs to know shite about it.
A bad situation made worse helps no one.
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:39 am to RedRifle
Has he see fatal attraction?
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:39 am to GrammarKnotsi
quote:
No doubt, but she WILL find out he is keeping them...Chances are he will never find out hers...
Probably because you were all raised (or otherwise learned) that you wife "deserves to know" this or that. What a bunch of tools.
Becoming your wife's bitch is not a part of your vows.
This post was edited on 8/1/14 at 8:45 am
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:39 am to RedRifle
quote:
What would you do?
Blackmail him and/or frick his wife. I am not a good person, so this is probably not good advice.
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:40 am to Topwater Trout
quote:
know of a few people currently doing this. I just wonder if its best for the children to see their parents unhappy or get a divorce.
Idk if it was right or wrong. I just didn't see the point of dismantling my son's life because of a stupid thing his dad did. Right or wrong, it's what I did.
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:40 am to SpqrTiger
quote:
He knows what he is doing is wrong and he wants OP to say its all good
FTFY
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:40 am to Navytiger74
quote:
Get her out of the dark about it? She deserves to know?
fricking idiot.
So someone DOESN'T deserve to know if their spouse is cheating?
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:42 am to Henry Jones Jr
quote:
So someone DOESN'T deserve to know if their spouse is cheating?
Apparently this guy thinks a wife should just be put in a dungeon to make sandwiches, babies and blow jobs.
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:42 am to jmcs68
quote:
I just didn't see the point of dismantling my son's life because of a stupid thing his dad did.
So better to let open wounds fester? That's bad for everyone.
My buddy's mom pulled that one. She stayed with his dad until my buddy was 18. As soon as he went to college, mom divorced dad.
Their home life was miserable until that point. And my buddy was no less confused at age 18 than he would have been at age 10.
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:43 am to Henry Jones Jr
quote:
So someone DOESN'T deserve to know if their spouse is cheating?
The value of secrets is lost on the OT moral police. Everything must be in the light!
Have you read The Circle, by Dave Eggers? I suggest it for you.
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:43 am to lsuhunt555
quote:
You really dont believe the dudes wife deserves to know he is dicking down some other broad?
First, let's actually think about what our trite phrases mean for a second. WTF does "deserve to know" even mean?
Second, if "deserving to know" something is actually a thing, she sure as frick wouldn't get what she "deserves" from me if it means betraying a confidant.
This post was edited on 8/1/14 at 8:47 am
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:44 am to Henry Jones Jr
quote:
So someone DOESN'T deserve to know if their spouse is cheating?
It's not that simple. He could stop the affair, never cheat again, and they could live a wonderful life. It's not the friends place to say anything to the wife.
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:44 am to TxTiger82
quote:
Their home life was miserable until that point.
Thats what I dont understand. I get the idea of staying together for the kids, but if you're going to do it AND be miserable you're better off throwing in the towel. If you're going to do it, make the effort to at least be reasonably happy until the kids move out.
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:44 am to jmcs68
quote:
Idk if it was right or wrong
Me either. I was just thinking out loud. No way to really tell anyway. I guess part of it would be how much of a happy face did you put on while staying with him.
Posted on 8/1/14 at 8:45 am to lsuhunt555
quote:
You really dont believe the dudes wife deserves to know he is dicking down some other broad?
Your friend confesses to you that he is having an affair and you really think that the proper response is to go tell his wife?
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