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Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:34 am to Lsupimp
Why can't people just talk to each other.
"Hey, BIL, I wasn't privy to the conversation you and the wive's (no pics because I'm a douche) had about the car. I had a thought and wanted to run it by you to see what your intentions were since I was already toying with the idea of getting daughter (no pics because she's still a minor) a newer, more reliable car that would last her past college......."
It really is that easy.
"Hey, BIL, I wasn't privy to the conversation you and the wive's (no pics because I'm a douche) had about the car. I had a thought and wanted to run it by you to see what your intentions were since I was already toying with the idea of getting daughter (no pics because she's still a minor) a newer, more reliable car that would last her past college......."
It really is that easy.
This post was edited on 7/24/17 at 9:35 am
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:34 am to Lsupimp
quote:
Do you think maybe I should hold on to the Kia for six months or so and then approach him for " permission " to sell the car. ?
I dont think that would be a bad idea if it doesnt have to happen right away.
Still, a gift is a gift. I dont think taking two lesser cars and upgrading to one better car is an unforgivable sin just because one of those cars was gifted. If your brother is reasonable (which he clearly is), he would want a nicer, more reliable car for his niece anyway.
What I would definitely do is run this "plan" by your wife just to be sure that wont raise any issues.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:34 am to Lsupimp
My parents had my grandma's early 90's accord. It was worth a few grand, and they gave it to a family friend that had been down on their luck and was helping them with some work inside the house.
He flipped it and bought a used Mercedes. My parents were pretty aggravated with him after that.
Maybe sit down and explain the situation to him and see how he feels about it. He might rather just give you $6k towards a down payment so he could donate the car or keep it a few more years.
He flipped it and bought a used Mercedes. My parents were pretty aggravated with him after that.
Maybe sit down and explain the situation to him and see how he feels about it. He might rather just give you $6k towards a down payment so he could donate the car or keep it a few more years.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:34 am to Lsupimp
I would talk to him about how you think combining the sales of both cars in order to purchase her a new car, would be a great investment for the future.
I'm sure he would completely agree.
I'm sure he would completely agree.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:35 am to UGATiger26
this just seems so bizarre to me.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:38 am to LCA131
I'm a poor boy and I would not accept a 6k gift if I was going to sell it unless it was a loan that I would pay back.
Accepting a car and selling it for $6000? That doesn't seem odd to you?
Accepting a car and selling it for $6000? That doesn't seem odd to you?
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:39 am to Lsupimp
quote:
I'm picking it up in Austin. Also I won't " ruin" a relationship over this. I've been similarly kind to him during a very difficult time in his life . And neither of us are the kind of people who " ruin" relationships-we are all very close- it's just that he arranged this with my wife I was not in the loop during this discussion and I'm thinking my 2001 Toyota might outlast the 2009 Kia. We may be solving a problem we don't have.
Yea man, I hope you know I wasn't implying that
Just no reason to possibly upend a relationship is all. Kia's are legit FWIW. Same with Subaru. I'd definitely see if you can find something on the way home - here in Houston, tons of options obviously.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:45 am to Collegedropout
quote:
Accepting a car and selling it for $6000? That doesn't seem odd to you?
Not given the scenario that the OP posted. Their relationship is crucial to the answer. His B-I-L wants to help her out and has in the past. He has helped out B-I-L in the past. Gifts should be given with no strings attached. A quick, candid chat will clear this all up.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:46 am to LCA131
quote:
A quick, candid chat will clear this all up.
That's too much to ask of some people apparently.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:47 am to Lsupimp
Don't sell it. This is what happened to us. We inherited a one year old car and sold it to my parents 6,000.00 off blue book value as a "favor" to them. They kept it a few months and then sold it for a 5,000.00 profit. This made me think WTF about my parents and 12 years later it still affects my feelings toward them. To me it was an unforgivable act. JMHO.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:50 am to Collegedropout
quote:
Accepting a car and selling it for $6000? That doesn't seem odd to you?
Its a gift. Why would you not accept it? You didn't ask for it.
quote:
I would not accept a 6k gift if I was going to sell it unless it was a loan that I would pay back.
If someone gifts (not loans) you $6k cash, you're going to repay them $6k?
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:55 am to idlewatcher
The most important thing to my Brother in law in his entire life are his parents. We are close, partially because I " gift" them the things they need , I gave my father- in- law a used car, a new refrigerator, a set of new couches, etc . Really, everybody " gifts" everybody all the time. Another brother in law hands my kids $100 bills every time he sees them like The Godfather. And all of us are doing well with our careers. It's not about the money - it's him expressing his affection for her.
This is about being pragmatic ( buying a car that will last her ten years) or being polite and considerate. And I appreciate every response as they help me see it emotionally from all kind of perspectives. Including the one two up where the guy resents his own parents. That's the kind of story I need to hear.
I think the right thing to do is sell the Toyota, let her drive the Kia , and revisit it down the road after he has bathed in the glow of recognition for his generosity. He's really, really a great guy and his wife is even better and my kids are extremely close with them . I'd take a beat down from the OT and IRL before I'd jeopardize that .
This is about being pragmatic ( buying a car that will last her ten years) or being polite and considerate. And I appreciate every response as they help me see it emotionally from all kind of perspectives. Including the one two up where the guy resents his own parents. That's the kind of story I need to hear.
I think the right thing to do is sell the Toyota, let her drive the Kia , and revisit it down the road after he has bathed in the glow of recognition for his generosity. He's really, really a great guy and his wife is even better and my kids are extremely close with them . I'd take a beat down from the OT and IRL before I'd jeopardize that .
Posted on 7/24/17 at 9:59 am to Lsupimp
If people thought like you do in this post, there'd be a lot less hurt feelings within families. Clearly, nothing you do is going to permanently damage any of your relationships. But it's odd how some things that are so trivial can put a bad taste in someone's mouth. Then, in bed, talking it over with the spouse, a little thing seems more personal and feelings get hurt. Nothing big, just a subtle feeling of being used.
Anyway, good luck with the car and whatever you decide. It's nice having family that looks out for each other like you described.
Anyway, good luck with the car and whatever you decide. It's nice having family that looks out for each other like you described.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 10:07 am to Lsupimp
You take the car and let daughter drive it for a few months.
Around October, the Kia has a "major engine malfunction", rendering the car "totaled".
Trade it in on what you actually want.
Profit.
Everyone wins.
Around October, the Kia has a "major engine malfunction", rendering the car "totaled".
Trade it in on what you actually want.
Profit.
Everyone wins.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 10:10 am to JetFuelTyga
quote:
You take the car and let daughter drive it for a few months.
Around October, the Kia has a "major engine malfunction", rendering the car "totaled".
Trade it in on what you actually want.
Profit.
Everyone wins.
Lousy troll job with no effort put forth.
Go cut yourself.
This post was edited on 7/24/17 at 10:11 am
Posted on 7/24/17 at 10:17 am to Lsupimp
If y'all are as close as you say, then chat with him about your thoughts. Just be up front and honest. Check with your wife, first, of course, since she's the one who brokered the deal.
Otherwise, take the car and let your daughter drive it for a while and then sell it down the road.
Or, thank him for his generosity and tell him that you decided to buy your daughter a newer car with some bells and whistles. He may offer to give the car for a trade in.
Otherwise, take the car and let your daughter drive it for a while and then sell it down the road.
Or, thank him for his generosity and tell him that you decided to buy your daughter a newer car with some bells and whistles. He may offer to give the car for a trade in.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 10:17 am to Lsupimp
People are funny about "gifts". Some people take the attitude that the "gift" entitles them to some retained ownership and control over said "gift".
Others give freely.
Don't know what type your BIL is.
Others give freely.
Don't know what type your BIL is.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 10:19 am to Paddyshack
quote:
I would not accept a 6k gift if I was going to sell it unless it was a loan that I would pay back.
Posted on 7/24/17 at 11:47 am to Collegedropout
he gave it to your daughter. Have her call and ask if she can sell it. He won't tell her no.
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