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Started By
Message
Embarrassing Moments
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:45 am
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:45 am
It's Friday, and I'm feeling confessional.
About a year ago I stopped at a red light in my shiny sports car. Then I feel a pretty solid bump. The F350 behind me had collided with my rear bumper. "MF a-hole jacked-up c-sucker," I thought as I jumped out and approached the guy, who was a much younger baw.
"You rear-ended me, jackass," I yelled, ready to put a Louisiana arse-whipping on him. "No," he calmly (and kindly) replied. "You rolled back into me."
He was right. I had taken the car out of gear, slipped off the brake as I was texting, and rolled back down the slight incline into the guy's truck. That was a lesson in humility.
Whatcha got?
inb4: #thispostshouldbeyourmostembarrassingmoment
inb4: #onecallthatsall
About a year ago I stopped at a red light in my shiny sports car. Then I feel a pretty solid bump. The F350 behind me had collided with my rear bumper. "MF a-hole jacked-up c-sucker," I thought as I jumped out and approached the guy, who was a much younger baw.
"You rear-ended me, jackass," I yelled, ready to put a Louisiana arse-whipping on him. "No," he calmly (and kindly) replied. "You rolled back into me."
He was right. I had taken the car out of gear, slipped off the brake as I was texting, and rolled back down the slight incline into the guy's truck. That was a lesson in humility.
Whatcha got?
inb4: #thispostshouldbeyourmostembarrassingmoment
inb4: #onecallthatsall
This post was edited on 6/9/17 at 9:23 am
33
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:46 am to JudgeHolden
That's pretty bad Judge.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:48 am to REB BEER
quote:
That's pretty bad Judge
Oh, yeah.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:50 am to JudgeHolden
Would have been funny if the young buck would have whooped your old arse.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:51 am to JudgeHolden
You didn't realize you were rolling backwards because you were texting weren't you? 
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:51 am to JudgeHolden
Obvious troll. But im bored.
He should have beat you then fricked your wife, mom, and sister. And daughter, assuming she is 18
He should have beat you then fricked your wife, mom, and sister. And daughter, assuming she is 18
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:51 am to ReauxlTide222
quote:
You didn't realize you were rolling backwards because you were texting weren't you?
That's exactly right. Hell, I may have been checking the OT! Taught me a lesson about that, too.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:52 am to ksayetiger
quote:
Obvious troll. But im bored.
Not a troll. True story.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:52 am to boddagetta
quote:
Would have been unprecedented if the young buck would have whooped your old arse.
FIFY
This post was edited on 6/9/17 at 8:54 am
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:55 am to JudgeHolden
Literally too many to count. One of my best was pulling into a Sonic stall and clipping the far ordering sign. Left an 8" deep scratch on the hood of my truck. It was pretty busy and some people even got out of their cars to come see what happened.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:56 am to JudgeHolden
Years ago, the company I work for hired a new secretary for the office. She was a little heavy around the mid-section, she looked pregnant to me, so I asked her how much longer did she have. I knew something was wrong when a co-worker who was standing nearby, exited the room rather quickly trying not to laugh.
This post was edited on 6/9/17 at 8:57 am
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:58 am to JudgeHolden
quote:I read this and thought you were finally going to admit that this was you:
It's Friday, and I'm feeling confessional.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:58 am to JudgeHolden
Had a vehicle back into me once in front of a McDonalds. I got out of my vehicle and went inside McD, asked f any body had seen the accident. A couple said they did & I got their name and address. They sked why I wanted their name, I said because the MF who backed in to me, will sue me.
Several weeks went by and, I got a letter from their attorney. I called the attorney , told him what happened and gave him the names of the witnesses. He contacted them and withdrew.
Another few weeks went by an I got a letter from a second attorney, who represented these folks.
Notified him and he contacted the witnesses and withdrew.
Moral of this story: DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANITE, COVER YOUR arse
Several weeks went by and, I got a letter from their attorney. I called the attorney , told him what happened and gave him the names of the witnesses. He contacted them and withdrew.
Another few weeks went by an I got a letter from a second attorney, who represented these folks.
Notified him and he contacted the witnesses and withdrew.
Moral of this story: DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANITE, COVER YOUR arse
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:58 am to JudgeHolden
I was behind a person in a drive through ATM line at my bank. It was taking an unusual amount of time to complete the transaction. It was a Friday or Saturday afternoon and I was in a rush to get somewhere. I honked my horn at the person. An elderly man opened his door and had to step out to grab his cash and gingerly get back into his vehicle. I felt like shite. I thought it was a jackass talking on their phone or something. Turns out it was just an older gentleman who was trying to hurry things along as quick as he could.
This was a year and a half ago and I still feel shitty about it. If I knew who he was or if I ran into him again I would like to buy him some beers and talk to him.
This was a year and a half ago and I still feel shitty about it. If I knew who he was or if I ran into him again I would like to buy him some beers and talk to him.
This post was edited on 6/9/17 at 2:21 pm
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:58 am to JudgeHolden
You're lucky you didn't get truck nutted into oblivion.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 8:58 am to JudgeHolden
Subtle brag about sports car and whipping arse.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 9:02 am to bigwheel
quote:
DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANITE, COVER YOUR arse
Now THAT'S embarrassing
Posted on 6/9/17 at 9:02 am to bigwheel
quote:
Moral of this story: DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANITE
I wouldn't take marble or quartz either.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 9:03 am to bigwheel
quote:
DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANITE
Take it for marble instead...?
Eta:shite y'all beat me
This post was edited on 6/9/17 at 9:04 am
Posted on 6/9/17 at 9:06 am to GEAUXT
I got nervous before a cross country race in junior high that I puked so hard before the race and one of my contacts fell out into the puke. Then I had to run a race in the woods with one eye closed so I could see out of my good eye. I have 20/750 vision so I couldn't really keep both eyes open because it blurred everything.
My nickname for the rest of my running career was one eyed puke boy.
My nickname for the rest of my running career was one eyed puke boy.
This post was edited on 6/9/17 at 9:09 am
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